Ask a Sanctioned Casino Brawler (who just won 2nd place welterweight) Anything

[My Mom Is Dead]

So I just got back from the fights. Here's the medal they gave me.




Here's the fight program, and picture of me.



I wore orange woman's tennis shorts with white piping, solid orange knee-high baseball socks, and some grass green ankle high P.F. Flyers.
I took second place in the event--going head to head with the champion of several years. In his fight history, he has only lost once, so I don't feel too bad losing to that monster.

[J-KO]

Did you get any money for it? Do you train as a boxer? How is it fighting in front of a crowd?

[Bale]

You're from Eureka, did you know that Mr. Bungle played the talent show at Eureka high?

If so, have you licked the very floors they walked on? If not, will you?

[Nero]

Mr. Bungle suck.

[Bale]

This is now a thread about Mr. Bungle

[The Duke]

Way to put your name on zoklet. Just sayin'....

[My Mom Is Dead]

Originally Posted by J-KO

Did you get any money for it? Do you train as a boxer? How is it fighting in front of a crowd?

Entry fee was 25 dollars. You only win money if you kick everyone's ass. Since I only ranked 2nd, I am out 25 dollars, plus the fiver I bet to my boss at work.
I do not train whatsoever. I actually drank a shitton of beer in preparation, and recently started smoking cigars--up to three cigars a night, sometimes.

It fucking blows going in front of a crowd of hundreds, knowing you are very likely to get your ass handed to you.

Originally Posted by Noodles

You're from Eureka, did you know that Mr. Bungle played the talent show at Eureka high?

If so, have you licked the very floors they walked on? If not, will you?

No clue who Mr. Bungle is. He sounds highly priased by you, so he might be a cool guy. Eureka High, on the other hand, is a faggot. I will not be licking any floors.

Originally Posted by The Duke

Way to put your name on zoklet. Just sayin'....

I've posted my California State ID.
Not real worried, bro.

[My Mom Is Dead]

They've uploaded a bunch of pics now.
http://www.hatchphotosports.com/Spor...39956351_cpCgQ







My slick pompadour gradually becomes more and more similar to a drunken Nick Nolte's mane.

[coolguy420]

what's your favorite food?

[My Mom Is Dead]

The gut's from drinking about a 12-pack a night, if that's what you're getting at.
I guess I really like greasy burgers, though. I am by no means a vision of health.

[My Mom Is Dead]

[J.P.W]

You spelt overweight wrong in the thread title.

[ComradeAsh]

You wanna go, punk?

[nutsack]

How many years experience training do you have?

[My Mom Is Dead]

Originally Posted by nutsack

How many years experience training do you have?

None. I've only been in a handful of fights, and they're usually just consist of me drunkenly headbutting someone.

[MediumD]

Originally Posted by My Mom Is Dead

I dunno why that image is named gary busey, but the guy in it is Nick Nolte.

[coolguy420]

what's your favorite color?

[My Mom Is Dead]

Originally Posted by MediumD

I dunno why that image is named gary busey, but the guy in it is Nick Nolte.

Wow, you're right. I totally fucked that up--I just googled "drunk Gary Busey" and that was one of the first results. I didn't bother looking at anything other than the hair.

Originally Posted by coolguy420

what's your favorite color?

Bright colors. Green, orange, yellow and the like.

[The Methematician]

Originally Posted by My Mom Is Dead

Bright colors. Green, orange, yellow and the like.

u liek ghey color ???? are u ghey ???

[Minority Deport]

How do they keep the field so even that even a slob can do pretty good?

[Benzo Ferrari]

Omg! Im from Eureka/Trinidad! Don't live there anymore, but shittt. Cool.

[crackhead]

Will MMA be in your future?

[BITCH TITZ]

do you beat up normal people for fun?

[TruthWielder]

Wtf? Random ass dudes fight each other and are generally untrained? Where the hell can I sign up?

[crackhead]

This sounds like toughman

[Jesus "Fuck Lepers" Christ]

HILARIOUS I see that sign "YOU THINK YOUR TUFF?" every time I drive into eureka. I knew the competition had to suck but LOL

[My Mom Is Dead]

Originally Posted by Minority Deport

How do they keep the field so even that even a slob can do pretty good?

They don't keep it even. Me making second place is a joke, in that there was only one other person in my weight class doing boxing. He was incredibly well trained, and took me down in 23 seconds.
People are mostly joining the MMA nowadays.

Originally Posted by crackhead

Will MMA be in your future?

If they do away with boxing altogether, I might do MMA. That shit looks so much more brutal, and I'm kinda a pussy.

Originally Posted by BITCH TITZ

do you beat up normal people for fun?

I have probably been in more fights than the average person, but that's because I'm an obnoxious drunk.
I typically avoid fights if I can, because I'll most likely get my ass kicked.

Originally Posted by TruthWielder

Wtf? Random ass dudes fight each other and are generally untrained? Where the hell can I sign up?

Like crackhead said, it's like Toughman--but this event is much smaller with enough variety in weight classes that most anyone has a decent chance at winning.
It comes to Humboldt County (Northern CA, close to Oregon) twice a year, but I think they also tour Canada.

Originally Posted by Metacarpal

HILARIOUS I see that sign "YOU THINK YOUR TUFF?" every time I drive into eureka. I knew the competition had to suck but LOL

>>assuming all the contestants are as retarded as I am

[BITCH TITZ]

what's the worst you've gotten your chubby ass beat in a drunken fight?

[My Mom Is Dead]

Originally Posted by BITCH TITZ

what's the worst you've gotten your chubby ass beat in a drunken fight?

I've had several black eyes, and once I got a split lip.
Fights get broken up pretty quick at parties, despite how everyone likes to see a good ass-beating. Too many factions, whole groups of people will start beefing against each other if a fight gets drawn out longer than an initial slap-down.
It's not like traditional boxing--trading punches and tactical dodging.
At a party, if an abrupt punch to the face doesn't sober a guy up, they're usually drunk enough that it's easier to just quickly knock them out and let their friends cover clean-up.
I've never been knocked out, myself. My friends usually pull me aside and tell me I'm fucking up before that happens. In the cases that weren't avoided, I've just had dumb luck that's prevented me from taking any severe injuries (minor injuries account for the black eyes).
The situation of the split lip was when I walked out of a bathroom, and some douche punched me without warning (to this day, I am not sure why he did it). I kicked his ass for it, though.---this was directly after my mom's death, so I the unexpected opportunity to vent was welcome.

Party fights are typically over in less than five hits, or about 30 seconds of actual physical action.
Both offending parties usually get kicked out for the night.

[Snoopy]

Are you a hobo?

[Uriah Heep]

When I move to my new city, I'm going to take up boxing I think. It interests me more than any other style, in all honestly.

Practical Jazz.

[My Mom Is Dead]

Originally Posted by Snoopy

Are you a hobo?

No, what makes you think that?

[The Methematician]

Originally Posted by My Mom Is Dead

No, what makes you think that?

he meant o ask are you a HOMO ???? Cos :



can you see it ??? the similarities ????

[Duelist]

Worked his way up through the boxcars he did. I dont get this, they gave you a medal for losing? You were only in one fight and you lost, how can that make you the runner up????

[My Mom Is Dead]

Originally Posted by The Methematician

can you see it ??? the similarities ????

I lol'd.

Originally Posted by The Dualist

Worked his way up through the boxcars he did. I dont get this, they gave you a medal for losing? You were only in one fight and you lost, how can that make you the runner up????

Second place out of two people is still the runner-up. I got a medal on a technicality.

The boxing portion of the fights is losing popularity, and most people have made the switch to MMA.

[Jesus "Fuck Lepers" Christ]

Originally Posted by My Mom Is Dead

I lol'd.

Second place out of two people is still the runner-up. I got a medal on a technicality.

The boxing portion of the fights is losing popularity, and most people have made the switch to MMA.

why didn't you mention that in the first post

[My Mom Is Dead]

Originally Posted by Metacarpal

why didn't you mention that in the first post

I figured it would have gotten brought up a lot sooner, and I'd look like a even bigger idiot than in the OP. Bad timing, I guess.

[Dr Z Tream]

Do you realise that you're an idiot?

http://www.zoklet.net/bbs/showthread.php?t=154787

[My Mom Is Dead]

Originally Posted by Dr Z Tream

Do you realise that you're an idiot?

I actually think it's pretty cool you made an eerily similar thread months before mine, but the biggest difference is that yours was just trolling Bat Country--whereas mine is legitimately based on fact with as much information and proof to back up my claims as possible.
I'm sure we both kinda had similar ideas in creating these threads (internet tough guy satire?), but I'm honestly living the retardation I'm posting.
So I may be some class of idiot, but not for having a similar thread as you (as it seems you're implying), but because of the sad reality that everything I've written here is truth.

[Dr Z Tream]

Originally Posted by My Mom Is Dead

I actually think it's pretty cool you made an eerily similar thread months before mine, but the biggest difference is that yours was just trolling Bat Country--whereas mine is legitimately based on fact with as much information and proof to back up my claims as possible.
I'm sure we both kinda had similar ideas in creating these threads (internet tough guy satire?), but I'm honestly living the retardation I'm posting.
So I may be some class of idiot, but not for having a similar thread as you (as it seems you're implying), but because of the sad reality that everything I've written here is truth.

Stop being so agreeably diplomatic so I can insult you some more.