My name is King Owl, and this is a story about dumb bitches on acid.

[King Owl]

These events came down somewhere after my eighteenth birthday. It was a wednesday night, and, as was the fashion at the time, on wednesday nights we would all cruise downtown and hit this one club that played pretty slick drum and bass. I like DnB, but more importantly, I like business, and I liked seeing my friends. So in my pocket was a little bottle of breath-freshening solution, guaranteed to brighten up your synapses with a delightfully sparkling loading of about 150 mikes of nice californian LSD per drop. A hundred drops in the bottle, give or take. So wednesday nights were usually an excuse to get on the train, get loaded with a few friends on some ball-blazing acid and generally careen around the streetlamps and tarmac fucking with cops and hitting on pretty girls.

Tonight was absolutely no different, only I hadn't yet dosed up. Anyway, some guys I knew from way back saw me, said hello, and we chatted for a while. One of them asked if I knew where to get any pills. I shook my head, sadly apologised, but offered them some of this darling LSD. They said it wasn't for them, but some chicks had just asked them so they were trying to help out. Normally I wouldn't have anything to do with people I didn't know personally, but fuck it, I was feeling loose. So they introduced me, and these two chicks and I slicked over to this alleyway, where I asked them if they'd had anything else already. They said they were pretty drunk, but other than that, no. I explained that the alcohol might make it take a little while to kick in. They said that was fine, cash was exchanged and they got the magic drop. Immediately, one bitch started to complain. "Uh, wtf? This tastes like mouthwash!". The retard-alarm had now begun to ring in my head. "Have, uh, have you ever tried liquid acid before?" I asked, heart tensing. This stuff was pretty hectic, the girl could be in for a hell of a night. "No, only in pills!" She responded. "Let me see the bottle!"

Oh, dear.

So I held it up for her to see, and she made to snatch at it. Taking a step back, I put it back in my pocket, telling her to back the fuck off and calm down, to try to enjoy the ride. I asked her if they were here with anyone else. The other girl chimed in. "Yeah, our boyfriends! They're gonna kick your ass for trying to rip us off! Give us our money back!" I rolled my eyes. "You paid, now you play. This shit is good, it ill kick your skull open in about thirty to forty five minutes. Come back at nine, and if you're feeling nothing, I will refund you your money or dose you up more." They didn't seem to pay much attention, storming off. "Whatever, faggot." She sneered, heading back towards the club.

The night was officially about to get interesting. Amongst the regulars of that club, over half were good friends of mine, and they all knew I had quality wares. So I found somebody I trusted and told him what had just happened. He laughed, concluding that she was indeed, a dumb bitch. But he said he'd watch my back in case anyone tried to sucker punch me. Ten minutes or so passed and the girls were back, demanding their money back. I was smoking outside with a few mates, and they tried in vain to help convince them. Moments later, the boyfriends appeared - With about five guys behind them.

Hmm. This was more interesting than I really was hoping for tonight. "Give them back their money cunt and we won't beat the shit out of you!" Under normal circumstances, to avoid a scene like this, I would have just paid them to shut them up - It was only a couple of drops after all, not worth the hassle. But the night had been good and I had a grand or so in my wallet, did NOT want to open it up in front of these guys. So I politely declined, again trying to explain. "Let me it, I know acid when I see it." The guy insisted, so he and I and his friends, and a half dozen or so of mine, walked round into the alley. I could see where this was going, but I was confident that my spun-out acid-jibbed tweaker streetfighter buddies could handle this posse of drunk jersey shore types. So I hold up the bottle for him to see

WHAM

suckerpunched. Vision goes white, just for a moment. Not enough to slow me down, I respond with a fast right to the guy's solar plexus, the bottle in my left hand. He goes backwards into the wall, grabbing at my hands. His fingers find my adam's apple, and he starts trying to choke me. I feel two pairs of arms grabbing at both of mine, I was torn between going for the knife in my pocket or spinning around and trying to take them, but I didn't want my back to anyone, and the delicate bottle of magic was still in my left fist. So I relax, and they pluck it out of my hand, the choker eyeing it suspiciously. My mates are ready to kick heads at any moment, hanging on my words, but I'm hoping we can still resolve this mostly peacefully.

Even as I'm deciding to try and talk him out of it, though, I can see the thought process ticking over in his mind. It's as if time slowed down, and I could head his mental process, see it blossoming into a decision that will undoubtably haunt him for the rest of his life.

"This isn't fucking acid, I've had acid! I bet it doesn't even taste like fucking acid!"

"NO! DON'T!" I cry, but it is too late. His mind is made up. he pops the cap off the bottle, not realising it was a measured dropped cap - And tips the contents of the entire vial into his mouth. Everyone there goes very quiet for a moment. He has just ingested probably around thirty thousand micrograms of strong, clean acid. "Spit it out! Quick! Wash out your mouth!" I am PLEADING with this guy, trying to save his fucking mind, maybe his life. All of my friends are laughing, but also, pleading with him to spit it out. You can see the look in his eyes as he realises he might have just done something very, very silly.


In the dumb, still moment, I snatch the bottle back. There's something of a little splash left in the bottom, where it was before almost completely. I screw the cap back on, and proceed to fucking power-walk it out of there as fast as possible. This guy will be going nuclear in ten minutes, maybe less. I hail the first taxi I see, dialling a friend on my cell, telling him needed to get the fuck uptown pronto. He's at a nearby gay club and he meets me out front with a couple of girlfriends of ours. We take the taxi back to his, and I explain what just happened. Nobody really knew what to say, or do. The taxi driver though, this big african bloke, is just laughing madly though. "Ah, the devil gon come for 'im tonight!" He cackles, slapping the steering wheel.

The rest of the evening passes remarkably peacefully. We get to his place, chain smoke and smoke a little green till dawn, where we share a joint laced with dmt and say a little prayer for that poor dumb fuck.

About a year later, I was selling trips to some guy at a big hip-hop and drum and bass festival a couple of towns over. Turns out he was one of the friends who was the that night, backing up the guy. He didn't know the whole story and he shook his head sadly when I told him what had led up to the events. "He spent the next eight months in a mental facility." He told me. "The first few hours he said he was being chased and raped and murdered by demons. Ambulance took him to the emergency ward, he never really left."

As for the girls who originally bought their dose? Yeah, it eventually kicked in. One of them walked about forty miles across town just because she was trying to catch up with the patterns god was showing her. The other, I never heard from.

[Usama Bin Laden]

The overbearing semtiment that I get out of this is that females are more trouble than they're worth, except in the instance of their spreading their legs. That's about all they should do because everything else a woman does leads to trouble. As for the guy that ended up in the hospital? Serves him right, fucking idiot...

[King Owl]

Originally Posted by titoman

The overbearing semtiment that I get out of this is that females are more trouble than they're worth, except in the instance of their spreading their legs. That's about all they should do because everything else a woman does leads to trouble. As for the guy that ended up in the hospital? Serves him right, fucking idiot...

I've learned that as much as I can enjoy hanging out with women, and that at times I can enjoy sex with them even more, there is nothing on this earth that could make me want to be in a relationship with one ever again.

[M. Samuel Chevalier]

hahaha

[felonious_monk]

nice story

[Iskalla]

I feel for you man, you're obviously concerned about the people you sell to and only asked for her to wait it out and find out first hand that it's acid. To think, that dumb fuck that drank it all will probably go around talking about how bad LSD is and his dumb fuck friends will somehow perceive you as the bad guy. You've just gotta shrug stuff like this off, life can be tragic. If I had a similar experience I'd incorporate it into writing, it's the kind of thing that'd at least inspire a short story.

I've found people selling psychedelics of any form to usually be the most sincere and respectable of all dealers, just be thankful the guy isn't dead, hopefully the girl experienced some sort of rebirth and came out of the trip a new person and you'll be able to spot out similar douchebags sooner in the future.

[King Owl]

Originally Posted by Iskalla

I feel for you man, you're obviously concerned about the people you sell to and only asked for her to wait it out and find out first hand that it's acid. To think, that dumb fuck that drank it all will probably go around talking about how bad LSD is and his dumb fuck friends will somehow perceive you as the bad guy. You've just gotta shrug stuff like this off, life can be tragic. If I had a similar experience I'd incorporate it into writing, it's the kind of thing that'd at least inspire a short story.

I've found people selling psychedelics of any form to usually be the most sincere and respectable of all dealers, just be thankful the guy isn't dead, hopefully the girl experienced some sort of rebirth and came out of the trip a new person and you'll be able to spot out similar douchebags sooner in the future.

it wasn't the first time I'd been in a similar situation, but it was the one that ended the worst. I got out of that game a long time ago, people burned all the hope out of me. Best I can do now is write about the funny things, and the awful things. And sometimes, the little, suprising things.

[Thought Riot]

wish I had a hundred hits of acid...bicycle day is coming up.

also...wtf at the girl? Just wait an hour and see if the effects have kicked in. It's acid for christsake.

[King Owl]

Originally Posted by Thought Riot

wish I had a hundred hits of acid...bicycle day is coming up.

also...wtf at the girl? Just wait an hour and see if the effects have kicked in. It's acid for christsake.

She had very clearly never tried acid before, or really knew anything about it other than that it was a drug and she wanted to get 'Fucked up, yo!'

[GreatestGatsby4]

I found this story to be hilarious. What would urge him to drink the acid, even if it wasn't acid I wouldn't be drinking it lol

[The Duke]

Fuck, I haven't done acid since 1999! This pisses me off to no end, but I do feel for the guy.

[Iskalla]

Originally Posted by GeometricGyarados4

I found this story to be hilarious. What would urge him to drink the acid, even if it wasn't acid I wouldn't be drinking it lol

Surely the wisest, and most responsible way to confirm what chemical you're working with is by taking as much as you possibly can. I beat up the first guy who offered to sell me acid, chewed up a little book blotter and spent the weekend huddled up in the foetal position being skull fucked by the Devil

[GreatestGatsby4]

I kinda want to see what he saw, but kinda don't lol

[Sir Cornwell]

The dude is only insane?

What about that story from the '60s where a dude in the back of a cop car took all his cid and then disappeared into thin air?

Wasn't it about 40,000 mikes he took?

[King Owl]

Originally Posted by GeometricGyarados4

I kinda want to see what he saw, but kinda don't lol

It's something you only really want to see when you're ready for it.

But the funny thing is, you'll only see it when you aren't.

[King Owl]

Originally Posted by Sir Cornwell

The dude is only insane?

What about that story from the '60s where a dude in the back of a cop car took all his cid and then disappeared into thin air?

Wasn't it about 40,000 mikes he took?

hahahahahaha

haven't heard that one before.

[Thought Riot]

Originally Posted by King Owl

She had very clearly never tried acid before, or really knew anything about it other than that it was a drug and she wanted to get 'Fucked up, yo!'

Ugh, that's not what acid is for damnit.

Originally Posted by Sir Cornwell

The dude is only insane?

What about that story from the '60s where a dude in the back of a cop car took all his cid and then disappeared into thin air?

Wasn't it about 40,000 mikes he took?

The famous one I know of is the guy who spent the rest of his life thinking he was an orange.

[Former_Member]

Considering this is a retrospective, it's suspiciously detailed.

Anyway though, yeah it seems to be sort of a common thing. About 5 years ago I remember selling pills to one of my sister's friends, then freaking the fuck out when I get a text on monday saying she's bought them into her school and sharing them with her friends.

Upon further investigation, I'm less worried when I hear it's a ground up mix of 'heroin, cocaine and ecstasy' that looks suspiciously like ground up tic-tacs, in a tic tac box. So not just a pretentious fake with the wrong ideas, but an outright liar too who could have gotten all of us in serious shit (in fact she nearly did, when she posted about it on her myspace, and her brother saw and told her mum about it who demanded to know where she got it from...well, the sweetshop duh).

A few years later, my mate meets THE SAME BITCH in a club one night (but he doesn't know her, or what a fucking idiot she is) and invites her over to his freehouse the day after, where we're planning to take LSD and just chill out. I'm the one who buys in bulk and supplies at cost, so normally she wouldn't have got any, but I've already given a few doses to my mate who is giving some to this girl he wants to fuck. We end up not giving a dose to another friend, who would have appreciated because he gives it to her instead.

Fast forward anyway, and right as she gets her dose she excuses herself. Somebody else happens to walk into the kitchen right then, and sees her in the act of POURING IT DOWN THE FUCKING SINK. I mean, she's demanded (at the expensse of somebody else, and this was the last of the batch and we rarely get the chance to get some) and paid for this shit, and now she's pouring it down the sink.

The whole farce is really the elephant in the room at this point, but nothing gets said outloud for the sake of both the (already strained) atmosphere and my mate's stupid libido.

Over the course of the evening, she bitches constantly (at one point she demanded, without sarcasm, to be entertained 'cause she was bored), keeps implying that we've ripped her off, and does her best to keep all attention focused upon her ability to ruin shit. At one point, 'accidently' threw a chess piece at an ongoing game which was possibly the only enjoyable time of the night.

I was already probably not in the best place around that time to have taken LSD, but what was normally a perfect set and setting was completely sabotaged. At one point I was sitting in front of the fire, coming to the conclusion (but still had enough of a socialised idea that I shouldn't do it to prevent me) that throwing my arms into the fire would be the step that conquered vanity and worldly concerns and led to my spiritual ascension. I later had a shower in which I had to resist the strong urge to turn the water off, so I could investigate whether the faint sounds of the people downstairs screaming for help in agony and crying babies were real or just my imagination. She wasn't totally to blame for that experience, but she was to a huge extent.

Another time, was when a member of this site turns up when we're all coming up on LSD. In between fits of tears because her grandad died, earlier that day or something, she starts demanding and trying to steal a vial of LSD. It becomes quite clear she's getting nowhere near it, and offers a compromise of "give me all the other drugs you have then". After a bit more of an annoyance (such as her playing one-person game of hide and seek in my house), we eventually just gave her a fuck load of benzos and made her go to sleep. ridiculous man.

[King Owl]

Originally Posted by Ryan1711

Considering this is a retrospective, it's suspiciously detailed.

I have a good memory. I've posted a few other stories that have kicked my head open over the years, it's unfortunately all true.

Also, I've known people like that girl you described over the years. No amount of reason nor rationale will ever lead you closer to understanding how that fucked up little head of theirs works, but by god they're gonna try and tell you!

[Iskalla]

Originally Posted by Ryan1711

Considering this is a retrospective, it's suspiciously detailed.

Anyway though, yeah it seems to be sort of a common thing. About 5 years ago I remember selling pills to one of my sister's friends, then freaking the fuck out when I get a text on monday saying she's bought them into her school and sharing them with her friends.

Upon further investigation, I'm less worried when I hear it's a ground up mix of 'heroin, cocaine and ecstasy' that looks suspiciously like ground up tic-tacs, in a tic tac box. So not just a pretentious fake with the wrong ideas, but an outright liar too who could have gotten all of us in serious shit (in fact she nearly did, when she posted about it on her myspace, and her brother saw and told her mum about it who demanded to know where she got it from...well, the sweetshop duh).

A few years later, my mate meets THE SAME BITCH in a club one night (but he doesn't know her, or what a fucking idiot she is) and invites her over to his freehouse the day after, where we're planning to take LSD and just chill out. I'm the one who buys in bulk and supplies at cost, so normally she wouldn't have got any, but I've already given a few doses to my mate who is giving some to this girl he wants to fuck. We end up not giving a dose to another friend, who would have appreciated because he gives it to her instead.

Fast forward anyway, and right as she gets her dose she excuses herself. Somebody else happens to walk into the kitchen right then, and sees her in the act of POURING IT DOWN THE FUCKING SINK. I mean, she's demanded (at the expensse of somebody else, and this was the last of the batch and we rarely get the chance to get some) and paid for this shit, and now she's pouring it down the sink.

Huh? Why did she pour the acid down the sink? That's like ordering food, and throwing it in the bin once its arrived.

[Former_Member]

She's scared of using drugs, but likes to brag that she has used them. Same with the ecstasy, she probably threw them away too before grinding up the tic-tacs.

[LegalizeSpiritualDiscovry]

Originally Posted by Ryan1711

She's scared of using drugs, but likes to brag that she has used them. Same with the ecstasy, she probably threw them away too before grinding up the tic-tacs.

I just don't see why she not only poured it down the sink but then had the nerve to actually bitch about not tripping and accusing you of ripping her off. You should have at least called her out once she pulled that shit. The constant attention whoring must have been beyond annoying and really fucked with your trip, especially knowing that she intentionally threw it away. Like, if you're going to fake taking it, whatever, but then not only do you go through bitching about being ripped off, you actually try to divert everyone's attention to you throughout the entire night, effectively ruining any meaningful experience that can be achieved? Fuck that bitch; should've embarrassed her as much as possible.

[Iskalla]

Originally Posted by Ryan1711

She's scared of using drugs, but likes to brag that she has used them. Same with the ecstasy, she probably threw them away too before grinding up the tic-tacs.

Call her a phoney, tell her I called her a big fat phoney.

[Iskalla]

[YOUTUBE]xcCO6E4NUs8[/YOUTUBE]

I cleaned the kitchen instead. I always clean when having a bad trip, disinfecting everything and making it spotless; and then I always shower to get rid of the bleach smell and feel cleansed.

I make tea and coffee, the familiar routine is relaxing at the height of a really heavy trip.

[Bale]

My draw literally dropped when I read he drank it. God, I would have booked it so fast out of town. I'm surprised you made it away. Seriously, I would not want to be within a 60 mile radius of that guy, it's a court case waiting to happen.

"he handed me a jar and i leik swallowed it cus he said it was mouth waaaash now im crazzyyyyyy"

Seriously, you should find the guy who introduced you to those chicks and kick him in the nuts.

[Iskalla]

Originally Posted by Noodles

"he handed me a jar and i leik swallowed it cus he said it was mouth waaaash now im crazzyyyyyy"

Oh man, that has all the makings of a hysterical media story.

"He was young, with so much ahead of him, but now he is lost in an unending waking nightmare, as he fell victim to a drug dealer who for no explainable reason passed off a bottle of the drug LSD as mouthwash. Authorities are warning teenagers to steer clear of any suspicious characters offering mouthwash in nightclubs."

[Bale]

Originally Posted by Iskalla

Oh man, that has all the makings of a hysterical media story.

"He was young, with so much ahead of him, but now he is lost in an unending waking nightmare, as he fell victim to a drug dealer who for no explainable reason passed off a bottle of the drug LSD as mouthwash. Authorities are warning teenagers to steer clear of any suspicious characters offering mouthwash in nightclubs."

Further investigations report that a subsequent teenager is now locked away, believing he has become a "Glass of orange juice". The suspect was seen running through sprinklers with a bottle of Listerine in his shirt.

Back to you Tom.

[Headspin]

Thanks Linda. People claiming the Devil has been chasing them around town are being put down for the betterment of humanity.

[King Owl]

Originally Posted by Iskalla

Oh man, that has all the makings of a hysterical media story.

"He was young, with so much ahead of him, but now he is lost in an unending waking nightmare, as he fell victim to a drug dealer who for no explainable reason passed off a bottle of the drug LSD as mouthwash. Authorities are warning teenagers to steer clear of any suspicious characters offering mouthwash in nightclubs."

It wouldn't be the first time and angry family tried to "name and shame" me for their child's stupid fucking choices.

[Hydroponichronic]

Originally Posted by King Owl

"He spent the next eight months in a mental facility." He told me. "The first few hours he said he was being chased and raped and murdered by demons. Ambulance took him to the emergency ward, he never really left."

Ain't karma a bitch?

[Intoxicated Shaman]

Well, that's an example of what happens when stupid people eat acid. Or in the dude's case, stupid people commit mental suicide to prove a horribly wrong point.

Even if it's a fake story it's fucking great.

[Headspin]

Originally Posted by Hydroponichronic

Ain't karma a bitch?

Its easy to say that. I find it extremely hard to explain what it is that is going on. Lots of repressed and supressed shit in his noggin. Karma though, you may be mistaken about. I hear a lot of 'good karma' 'bad karma' talk but that ain't how it works, yo.

At the same time, it is.

How do we fix the planet? Give heroic doses of lsd to the gucci mane.

[THIS IS IMPORTANT GODDAMNIT]

There really are some especially revolting people on this planet. I don't understand why you and your friend's didnt try to bash that dude when he had you by the throat though

[King Owl]

Originally Posted by This is important goddamnit

There really are some especially revolting people on this planet. I don't understand why you and your friend's didnt try to bash that dude when he had you by the throat though

I didn't feel threatened, and the most important thing was to resolve the conflict as quickly as possible and to try and maintain control of the drugs.

[iMagiNation]

Originally Posted by This is important goddamnit

There really are some especially revolting people on this planet. I don't understand why you and your friend's didnt try to bash that dude when he had you by the throat though

and risk smashing the vial? ffffuuuu I'd be in the seat of my pants going aaa-uhh uhh NO AHH NOOO AHHHH NOOO. in fact, that's exactly what was going on in my head while reading the fight scene until the dude drank it and then I started lolling uncontrollably. supreme justice.

also: archive. also, was this one of the stories you had emailed me? either way its going on the site.

[Smokey]

Wow that story keeps getting better.
I've heard a couple, but I think they are total bs.
My friend said his buddy knows someone who got pushed into a pool with a sheet in his pocket, and it all absorbed into his skin. After this, he still thinks he is a "teacup" and will freak out if anyone gets too close as they might knock him over. I explained to my friends that this is probably false, as the Cl probably would have destroyed the dose.
If someone drank my whole vial, I would deff split town QUICK. All the drops around here aren't too potent tho, nowhere near 150 mics.

[King Owl]

Originally Posted by Smokey

Wow that story keeps getting better.
I've heard a couple, but I think they are total bs.
My friend said his buddy knows someone who got pushed into a pool with a sheet in his pocket, and it all absorbed into his skin. After this, he still thinks he is a "teacup" and will freak out if anyone gets too close as they might knock him over. I explained to my friends that this is probably false, as the Cl probably would have destroyed the dose.
If someone drank my whole vial, I would deff split town QUICK. All the drops around here aren't too potent tho, nowhere near 150 mics.

I've heard that teacup story in a few different incarnations over the years. Total bullshit

[Smokey]

This one chick was totally convinced that our "friend" knew someone who knew someone who knew the person. IDK about tripping with her any more it can be a hand full. Fucking women.
I hate having to babysit people when I took way more than they did.

[iMagiNation]

Originally Posted by King Owl

I've heard that teacup story in a few different incarnations over the years. Total bullshit

I think something similar might have happened to some of the CIA guys when they were all dosing each other up secretly.

[Headspin]

I just ask who is such a retard that they think they're a glass of oj?