|
Advertisement
|
|
Advertisement
No logs - Anonymous IP
|
 |
|
08-08-2012, 05:28 AM
|
 |
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 1,144
Thanked 1,191 Times in 712 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Quote:
Originally Posted by OMGPLZDNTBAN
We found these two hippie/hipster kids tag along with us to the lumber mill and .... Well poast can rehash that story.
|
TL/DR we convinced these two random kids we saw, one was a hipster hippie with dreads and the other was half hippie but mostly gangster with probably fake diamond earrings and they were both on long boards, to follow us to the lumber mill where we were going to "show them something awesome" but as we both started to discreetly creep in and I whisper "stfu and try to be discreet" they both fucked completely off. We took it bigger, naturally.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-11-2012, 06:42 AM
|
 |
The Faggot
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 929
Thanked 201 Times in 132 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
So there I was. At a shitty bar. Charlie so close you could practically smell them.
But I was at a bar. It's a shit hole dive bar but they have a ping pong table so I go with a dood or two and 4 chicks. One of them I use to like but ehhhh. Fuck it. She's filled with homie gizz anyways.
MMID once pissed in beer pint glass and placed it in a bar bathroom. As we're leaving he asks me if I drank the beer in the bathroom. I did. Hilarity ensued and we called it the Patty Bomb. It's our drinking ritual which we do every time we're at the bar.
So I'm at this really shitty bar and I have to shit. I hate shitting at shitty bars because the bathrooms reek of piss 'cause when I'm drinking I find it hilarious to giggle and piss on the floor. I won't be able to hold it and continue losing ping pong so I attempt to shit.
Upon entering I double sure the door's locked and drop trou making sure my pants don't land in my own piss on the floor. But what do we have in the trash. An empty tall can of Pabst? I try to make my dick end direct towards the can, (Which is now in my hand), but no. My dick is too small. I hide the can in the trash 'cause maybe I'll piss later. I wipe, get up and as soon as I'm about to flush, I mean my hand was literally on the lever with some pressure pushing it down, (Imagine someone about to kill themselves and slowly started squeezing trying to find on reason to live type scenario. That dramatic.), I get an idea. I grab the can, and fill it up half way with shit, piss, and bar toilet water.
I chuckle and drunkenly stumble out and completely forget about it. I was pretty drunk. A bartender comes into the back area and kicks every one out cuase it's 2 but I do have to piss. It's a single mans bathroom but it's the usual to not lock the door and one man will piss in the toilet and the other the urinal. You have to apologize and say no homo or you're a faggot.
I chum with the dood who has a dick in his hand while I have my dick in my hand. He finishes before me and washes his hand. Then he bids me later and grabs the Patty Bomb. I'm pretty sure I had a horrified look on my face as he tils it up, drinks it and smacks his lips and goes, "Ahhhhh...." As if it was somehow the flattest, chunkiest watered down but still best tasting beer in his life.
No. Fucking. Way.
__________________
To the poasts I won't remember, with the posters I'll never forget.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-11-2012, 10:35 PM
|
 |
Acolyte
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: gl/hf/ds
Thanks: 1,604
Thanked 1,477 Times in 1,152 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
wallpaper sized
__________________
Not Istanbul.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-13-2012, 08:03 AM
|
|
Duke
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: my moms basement
Thanks: 453
Thanked 464 Times in 293 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
what's good in eureka california 8/13/2012?
__________________
THANKS BUTTON IS OVER THERE FAGGOT ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-13-2012, 06:22 PM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 1,144
Thanked 1,191 Times in 712 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Broke as shit thinking bought pawnin' my stolen DS to get some smokes. OMGPLZDNTBAN is in Montana for a week visiting his fat republican parents. What's crappenin with you big homie?
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-16-2012, 08:17 PM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 1,144
Thanked 1,191 Times in 712 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-16-2012, 08:23 PM
|
 |
Asstronomer
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Arizona's armpit
Thanks: 1,378
Thanked 1,920 Times in 1,379 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Quote:
Originally Posted by poast-bortem!
|
Sweet futon, homie
__________________
Rev. 6:8
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-16-2012, 08:34 PM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 1,144
Thanked 1,191 Times in 712 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Consistent ma'fucka. I really should have seen that cummin'
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-17-2012, 06:55 AM
|
|
Duke
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: my moms basement
Thanks: 453
Thanked 464 Times in 293 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
I'm in ferndale, living in a tent with the horse people... there's a cutie in the next tent over, but she's got a boyfriend, a douche but still a boyfriend... by the end of the week i might know the answer to a queastion i've asked myself for years, could i beat up a jockey?
__________________
THANKS BUTTON IS OVER THERE FAGGOT ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-17-2012, 08:52 AM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 1,144
Thanked 1,191 Times in 712 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Yo aqua, if you got 20 dollars you can ride a bus to Eureka, buy us both a 40oz, buy me some batteries, and we can exchange stories and make a video underneath this bridge I know of. It would be hilarious to meet up.
Wait, even better, OMGPLZDNTBAN is out of town for a week but if you're gonna be here for awhile, then we can wait for him to to get back and it'll be even funnier. LET ME KNOW WHAT'S UP. This has lulz written all over it.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-17-2012, 09:09 AM
|
|
Slightly Grander Duke
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Thanks: 1,359
Thanked 3,168 Times in 2,080 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Awesome.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-17-2012, 11:19 PM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 1,144
Thanked 1,191 Times in 712 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Jim will you write us some meth addled sodomite power violence raps?
I think your poetry is beyond hilarious and I want to see what you could do with our model.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-18-2012, 02:56 AM
|
|
Acolyte
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: gl/hf/ds
Thanks: 1,604
Thanked 1,477 Times in 1,152 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Quote:
Originally Posted by poast-bortem!
Jim will you write us some meth addled sodomite power violence raps?
I think your poetry is beyond hilarious and I want to see what you could do with our model.
|
The Ballad of the Butthole Ladies, a 3 album epic performed by the Russian International Symphony and Choir.
__________________
Not Istanbul.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-18-2012, 04:20 AM
|
 |
Duke
|
|
Join Date: May 2009
Location: the dorf
Thanks: 1,134
Thanked 443 Times in 311 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
rollin down the street
looking for boys I can meet
see a cute cop
whoop out my glock
I say show me yo cock
Ill suck you bone dry
wont rest till every man is satisfied
Ill fuck you till you love me like mike tyson
suk you fucking dick like a fucking dyson
__________________
YOLO
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-19-2012, 02:47 AM
|
|
The Faggot
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 929
Thanked 201 Times in 132 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
If anyone decides to visit me and ma' nigga poast we'll show you ghetto.
Challenge accepted anyone?
__________________
To the poasts I won't remember, with the posters I'll never forget.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-19-2012, 04:21 AM
|
 |
Child of The Fence
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: oranges
Thanks: 3,471
Thanked 2,105 Times in 1,408 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
If I ever make it back out to Cali, then I'll definitely meet up and teach yall niggas how the southern butthole what did since '84.
__________________
"Yeah, but you say a lot of things...and how does that work? You're a bicycle."
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-19-2012, 04:16 PM
|
|
The Faggot
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 929
Thanked 201 Times in 132 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Quote:
Originally Posted by HampTheToker
If I ever make it back out to Cali, then I'll definitely meet up and teach yall niggas how the southern butthole what did since '84.
|
That is poetry to my morphine laced ears.
__________________
To the poasts I won't remember, with the posters I'll never forget.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-22-2012, 05:03 AM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 1,144
Thanked 1,191 Times in 712 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-23-2012, 08:29 AM
|
|
The Faggot
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 929
Thanked 201 Times in 132 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
__________________
To the poasts I won't remember, with the posters I'll never forget.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-23-2012, 09:45 AM
|
 |
Knight
|
|
Join Date: May 2011
Location: frootn...
Thanks: 222
Thanked 115 Times in 89 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
So do you guys have jobs...
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-23-2012, 04:33 PM
|
|
The Faggot
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 929
Thanked 201 Times in 132 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Of course we do. We're full time recards.
__________________
To the poasts I won't remember, with the posters I'll never forget.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-23-2012, 05:59 PM
|
|
Child of The Fence
|
|
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: oranges
Thanks: 3,471
Thanked 2,105 Times in 1,408 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Quote:
Originally Posted by OMGPLZDNTBAN
|
Cardest video yet.
__________________
"Yeah, but you say a lot of things...and how does that work? You're a bicycle."
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-23-2012, 06:45 PM
|
 |
Count
|
|
Join Date: Apr 2012
Thanks: 512
Thanked 321 Times in 233 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Quote:
Originally Posted by OMGPLZDNTBAN
|
that's a bad ass kick-it spot.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-23-2012, 07:15 PM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 1,144
Thanked 1,191 Times in 712 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Quote:
Originally Posted by STEROS
that's a bad ass kick-it spot.
|
Yeah we been staying down there for the past couples months now, mostly just to sleep and bathe. It's aight, lots of broken glass and it smells like piss but rents cheap, just gotta pay the tweakers in shards, greedy fuckers sometimes.. it works out pretty good though since we started learning how to cook the stuff, they go out during the day and steal us the pseudo and get us big macs then we typically cook through the night and once they get their share they leave us alone. It's not the life we need but the life we deserve.
It was awesome that our friend stopped by with his camera tho, we told people to come visit us, but you know how it is.. Sucks because most of our other "friends" turned out to be really superficial, apparently being homeless meth addicts isn't cool with them anymore, they weren't complaining when we were getting them high every day. Our current outlook is, why live in a 500 dollar apartment when you can live under a 5 million dollar bridge?
Last edited by poast-bortem!; 08-23-2012 at 07:31 PM.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-23-2012, 07:20 PM
|
|
Asstronomer
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Arizona's armpit
Thanks: 1,378
Thanked 1,920 Times in 1,379 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
does that place have an address? I'll mail y'all some cheap plastic bottle liquor.
would send 40s but they'd prolly break
oh and PS just for recardedness I'll take a couple swigs out of the bottle and then piss in it to make up for it
__________________
Rev. 6:8
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-23-2012, 07:41 PM
|
|
The Faggot
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 929
Thanked 201 Times in 132 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Then join in the meet up. We just got a satellite installed. Can't get it to work without a TV though but it's pretty nice.
__________________
To the poasts I won't remember, with the posters I'll never forget.
|
08-23-2012, 07:47 PM
|
|
Acolyte
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: gl/hf/ds
Thanks: 1,604
Thanked 1,477 Times in 1,152 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
your bridge puts some homeless fucks I've seen round here to shame. that's luxury living for the recard life
__________________
Not Istanbul.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-23-2012, 08:23 PM
|
|
Grander Duke
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: blah
Thanks: 1,732
Thanked 2,050 Times in 1,442 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
I wish I had a bridge that nice I could live under.
__________________
Proud Member of the NAAFA.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-23-2012, 08:32 PM
|
 |
cunt
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: smokin' and trippin'
Thanks: 584
Thanked 644 Times in 479 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
hey faggots
do i have to post my butthole or will this do?
__________________
&T| 2005-07-11
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-24-2012, 12:53 AM
|
 |
Igor Deckman
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2011
Thanks: 1,880
Thanked 2,114 Times in 1,291 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShutMeUp
hey faggots
do i have to post my butthole or will this do? |
__________________
<zok> I don't even know what my password for the site is
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-24-2012, 01:54 AM
|
|
cunt
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: smokin' and trippin'
Thanks: 584
Thanked 644 Times in 479 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
fuck off
__________________
&T| 2005-07-11
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-24-2012, 03:38 AM
|
|
The Faggot
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 929
Thanked 201 Times in 132 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShutMeUp
hey faggots
do i have to post my butthole or will this do? |
We need full Butt Hole. Your butthole tease will not appease us.
We do not forgive or forget.
We are all that is what did in the Land of Lost Spokes.
You want credit or a butthole brew we need you spread cheeked.
__________________
To the poasts I won't remember, with the posters I'll never forget.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-24-2012, 03:40 AM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 1,144
Thanked 1,191 Times in 712 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-24-2012, 04:44 AM
|
|
Igor Deckman
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2011
Thanks: 1,880
Thanked 2,114 Times in 1,291 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Holy shit you got Greyfox!
__________________
<zok> I don't even know what my password for the site is
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-24-2012, 06:42 AM
|
|
Duke
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: my moms basement
Thanks: 453
Thanked 464 Times in 293 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
where this bridge at
__________________
THANKS BUTTON IS OVER THERE FAGGOT ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-24-2012, 07:08 AM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 1,144
Thanked 1,191 Times in 712 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Quote:
Originally Posted by aquabania
where this bridge at
|
Come to Eureka and we'll show you. No joke. If you need a place to stay for awhile there's plenty of room down there for you, but you have to help us cook, oh and we already got dibbs on the only two rooms so you'll have to make a place for yourself. We'll cut you in for the work you do once we factor in your rent, but it'll be enough to get by on for sure. Let us know, our only internet connection is the library and our crank dealer's house (we'd smoke our own stash but this guy's stuff is WAY more impure) so make sure you let us know ahead of time.
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-24-2012, 05:55 PM
|
|
Duke
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: my moms basement
Thanks: 453
Thanked 464 Times in 293 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
fuck man. im here right now but i got in late last night and need to leave like right now, burning man's callin my name
next time im in bumboldt i'll drink less whiskey and plan more better
__________________
THANKS BUTTON IS OVER THERE FAGGOT ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->
|
08-24-2012, 07:11 PM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 1,144
Thanked 1,191 Times in 712 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
|
|
The following users say "It is so good to hear it!":
|
|
08-24-2012, 07:29 PM
|
|
Count
|
|
Join Date: Apr 2009
Thanks: 1,276
Thanked 1,396 Times in 1,016 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Yo poast wuts the story with these mugshots
http://lostcoastoutpost.com/2011/may...-some-science/
Casey said you were responsible
|
08-24-2012, 09:10 PM
|
|
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2009
Thanks: 1,144
Thanked 1,191 Times in 712 Posts
|
|
Re: OMGPLZDNTBAN and I are on baller probation with the butthole police...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fox Paws
Yo poast wuts the story with these mugshots
|
http://kiem-tv.com/node/1772
There's a shitty commercial before the news article they did about the incident.
We've actually made the news three times in our town. This time we were (allegedly) goin' so hard in the paint that they raided our apartment. We're told Sentry stood for something none of us knew we were fighting for, but personally I think it was just another word for nothing to lose. That's the story behind his "meanmugshot." I think the one where he's smiling was a drunk in public, ran over an old lady with his bike, or it could have been when I maimed myself with a pipebomb when I was 16.
http://co.humboldt.ca.us/sheriff/pre...ail.asp&ID=303
Aftermath:
Party till the hoofs fall off.
|
|
|
|
Tags
|
baller, butthole, chick, gangster, gnarly, ladies, omg, omgplzdntban, police, pooter, probation, rhymes, thought  |
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT. The time now is 05:51 AM.
|
|
Hot Topics |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
On IRC |
Users: 4
Messages/minute: 0
Topic: "http://www.zoklet.net/..."
|
Users: 22
Messages/minute: 0
Topic: "buttpee"
|
Users: 10
Messages/minute: 0
Topic: "11:37 < mib_i8mfin> so wie ich die website hier sehe las..."
|
Advertisements |
|
Your ad could go right HERE! Contact us!
|
|
