Settle this for us: can you control (very roughly) where are car breaks down?

[m.060.mm]

Our neighbor's car alarm constantly goes off. At least a few times a day and when they're not home, the alarm continues for ten minutes before terminating by itself.

Today it got stuck in a loop at 5a so my roommate and I ended up talking about it.. she says there must be something (practical) that can be done to allow the car to move for some time before stranding it.

Examples include:

• nails in the tires (presumably they'd pop when they started moving but not deflate for some time after)

• some additive to the tank (it would let them get a block or two before the engine seized?)

• blocking the exhaust (roommate #2 said if a car can't exhaust it stalls out after a while)

Thoughts?

I initially disagreed because often people drive such short distances before returning home. There could be a significant chance of the car making it home before shitting the bed, as could easily be the case with the tires or exhaust.

[ratfrink]

None of them are reliable enough IMO. A nail in your tyre can make it go flat in two minutes, or it can slowly leak air and take a whole day to go down. Something hollow (like a sharpened pipe) would let the air out very quickly as soon as it was punctured, but you'd have to have a pipe with a very thick sidewall relative to its internal diameter, otherwise the tyre would just crush it. However, you don't just find sharpened pipes on the road, so it'd be pretty obvious that it was malicious

You couldn't be sure about number 2 (crap just settles at the bottom of the fuel tank), and it's easily traceable. Number 3 wouldn't work at all - either the blockage would shoot out the end of the exhaust, or the car wouldn't start.

In the UK, our local councils can issue fines and warrants for excess noise (like car alarms). See if your local authority can do the same. And do the nail thing too.

[m.060.mm]

Well our neighborhood is ratchet. As hell. You might not get a response if its just 'shots fired.' They won't be ticketed for noise but practicality, in that sense, is pretty relaxed. Obvious destruction, while less effective for the theoretical purpose, we're calling practical.

Agreed on coming up with a sharped pipe of sufficient thickness and diameter though. Not practical.

I understand sugar is a myth for the most part but I've heard water can cause misfires. Presumably that would wear down the weakest components pretty quickly?

Good point on three.

[ratfrink]

Water is a reasonable idea, if you manage to get loads of water in the tank. As the car starts up and drives around for the first few minutes, it'll use the fuel in the engine and fuel lines first, then it'll start sucking water in and it'll misfire or run badly. I doubt it would actually stop the engine running, but the owner would probably stop driving it.

The difficulty comes in opening the petrol cap without obviously damaging the car - the mechanic reporting water in the fuel tank, combined a bust-open petrol cap, is a sure sign of something malicious.

[Sal, a man-deer]

Grate a few large candles up. Put in gas tank. When the cars engine heats up and fuel is being pumped around it will melt. When the car is switched off and cools down it will solidify and the engine will be seized. This could only really work if they're gone out and leave the car parked for a few hours.

[IIIII]

Actually if you stick a nail straight into a tire it will be forced out by centrifugal force when on the highway at high speeds.

The nail, though causing a small unnoticeable leak, will act as a plug at slower city driving speeds.

[ratfrink]

Originally Posted by KABOOM!

Grate a few large candles up. Put in gas tank. When the cars engine heats up and fuel is being pumped around it will melt. When the car is switched off and cools down it will solidify and the engine will be seized. This could only really work if they're gone out and leave the car parked for a few hours.

IIRC wax is not soluble in petrol so it would never get to the engine in the first place. It will, however, clog up the fuel filter nicely.

[Larva]

Crawl under the car with a pair of bolt cutters or good heavy-duty side cutters and start dismantling the electrical system wire by wire.

Enjoy the silence.

If you Google the make and model of the car you may even be able to find a repair guide that tells you exactly where in the car the alarm module is, and what harness powers it so you know just where to start cutting.

Or you can just throw a brick through his window with a politely-written note that when he has his car in for repair that the mechanic should really take a few minutes to remove that shitty factory car alarm, or next time you're going to catch his car on fire.

[Intoxicated Shaman]

Shove a hose in the gas tank and crank the water to high.

[Blux]

Jack the car up, Cut a slit in the top of one of the tires, fill the whole tire up with cement and leave the car on cinder blocks.

When the asshole finally gets it down and notices nothing is missing/harmed he'll be able to drive a while before he notices something is wrong.

Obviously malicious, but hilarious anyway. Hopefully it will break something in the drivetrain from the massive amount of stress that will be induced.