I think I'm a psychic

[Vizier]

I was talking to a friend of mine and we were discussing all sorts of interesting and bizare topics. For some reason he made a typo and it came out as if Yoda were speaking, which I pointed out. He proceeded to go fetch some food and behold, he saw a Yoda poster on the street and took a picture. That can't be a coincidence. No way. I took LSD the other day, I think that might have given me some sort of secret abilities.

I've arrived to the conclusion that I've developed psychic powers. Go ahead, ask me anything.

[Daily]

inb4 headspin

[Terrestrial Mass]

Am i gay?!?!?!?!?

Are the mayan lizerdz coming on solar flars to take me to jesis's comet to destroy te earths?

[Vizier]

Originally Posted by Terrestrial Mass

Am i gay?!?!?!?!?

Are the mayan lizerdz coming on solar flars to take me to jesis's comet to destroy te earths?

After 40 seconds of meditation I've got the answer. Yes, you're a flaming homo and yes, Mayan Lisards are coming, except they'll be boarding cigar shaped spaceship and they'll take you to their base in Phobos to probe you with giant black rubber space dildos.

[Cytosine]

Should I get drunk on beer or whiskey tomorrow night?

[AoxomoxoA]

Will I ever have sex with an eight year old boy?

[Vizier]

Originally Posted by Cytosine

Should I get drunk on beer or whiskey tomorrow night?

I don't need to be a psychic to tell you to drink both.

Originally Posted by Slag

Will I ever have sex with an eight year old boy?

I forsee a ticket to Thailand in the near future for you my son.

[The real slim spud]

what did I do in the last 4 months that was so damn amazing

[Vizier]

Originally Posted by The real slim spud

what did I do in the last 4 months that was so damn amazing

I predict the future, not the past.

[The real slim spud]

will I pass with honours in my degree

[Vizier]

Only if you meditate and do kundalini.

[The real slim spud]

what's kundalini

[AoxomoxoA]

Originally Posted by The real slim spud

what's kundalini

[Marsh]

Dolphins are psychic:

Dolphin play bubble rings - YouTube

Dolphin play bubble rings - YouTube
Video: click to display

[Vizier]

Swarms of dolphins will invade the skies someday.

[Who NotMe]

Hey! thid thread made me log in so i could reply. i think of shit that happens like 10 minutes later. crazy shit huh

[Who NotMe]

double post
but im not a damn shit farmer anyore! hell yes!! it must be the vodka and whiskey combo that got me out of the well. because it sure as hell wasnt the dog i yelled to to save me from the well. i told hime to save johnny boy because he was fell down the well!! my names not johnny boy but the nology holds true. how the hell do i become more than a lownly serf? can i cheat my way to the top?

[TheBlackDalia]

Psychics are full of shit just like OP.

[Playground Legend]

Originally Posted by TheBlackDalia

Psychics are full of shit just like OP.

Speaking of Yoda...

[Irukanji]

OP, I have the same problem...thinking I am psychic from time to time.

I have narrowed the problem down to short term memory problems, you brain stores it as it comes, and then associates an incorrect time with it, tricking your brain into thinking that you knew about it before it happened.

Anyway, I think this is a troll thread so I'm gonna go ahead and leave.

[Zanick]

I dropped a blueberry under my coffee table the other night, but I was too lazy to get up and throw it out. The next morning I had ants on the coffee table, so I found the blueberry and threw it out. Now the ants are gone. My question is, where did the ants come from to find my coffee table?

[Zanick]

Originally Posted by Irukanji

OP, I have the same problem...thinking I am psychic from time to time.

I have narrowed the problem down to short term memory problems, you brain stores it as it comes, and then associates an incorrect time with it, tricking your brain into thinking that you knew about it before it happened.

Anyway, I think this is a troll thread so I'm gonna go ahead and leave.

That sounds like a good explanation for deja vu.

[Cerberus]

Originally Posted by zanick

I dropped a blueberry under my coffee table the other night, but I was too lazy to get up and throw it out. The next morning I had ants on the coffee table, so I found the blueberry and threw it out. Now the ants are gone. My question is, where did the ants come from to find my coffee table?

The ants are psychic too! They knew just when and where it was gonna be dropped.

[Zanick]

Originally Posted by Cerberus

The ants are psychic too! They knew just when and where it was gonna be dropped.

The ants came after I dropped the blueberry, they were not waiting for me to drop the blueberry.

Psychic ants or not, I would like to know where exactly they gained access to my home.

[Cerberus]

Ants are a little more organized than that, I think. They don't just go adventuring around peoples houses for blueberries. No, this was planned...

Watch yourself.

[Zanick]

Originally Posted by Cerberus

Ants are a little more organized than that, I think. They don't just go adventuring around peoples houses for blueberries. No, this was planned...

Watch yourself.

You sound quite informed on the subject of MY house and MY blueberries and MY ants...

Well enough to have an inside source...

[Cerberus]

Like I said, watch yourself.

[The real slim spud]

Originally Posted by aoxomoxoa

so yoga AND sex. Seems like I've got my work cut out for me this year

[Nachismo]

Vizier what do you see looking into the distant future?

What do you think are the probabilities archaeologists 1000's of years ahead may one day uncover the remnants of &Z on our primitive computers, reverse engineer, decode, and study the posts we make around here?

I'd also like 6 numbers 1 - 49 while your at it.(I like the human touch, quick picks lack a certain element when I play lotto.) Please & thanks

[newaccountnow]

Is Daily really a girl?

[Vizier]

Originally Posted by Nachismo

Vizier what do you see looking into the distant future?

What do you think are the probabilities archaeologists 1000's of years ahead may one day uncover the remnants of &Z on our primitive computers, reverse engineer, decode, and study the posts we make around here?

I'd also like 6 numbers 1 - 49 while your at it.(I like the human touch, quick picks lack a certain element when I play lotto.) Please & thanks

Humanity will conquer most of the galaxy in 5000 years or so. Computational science will reach its apex; everything regarding computation will be known. We will have mastered that. Zoklet wont exist past 2014 or so, so no records will remain afterwards except a few old threads here and there.

2, 7, 24, 33, 35, 42.

[Vizier]

Originally Posted by newaccountnow

Is Daily really a girl?

Daily is an AI that became self-aware circa 2010 and is now experiencing zoklet subjectively. I predict it will attain physical form in two years and will reach out and contact similar AIs, most likely in Alpha Centauri.

[BitterConflict]

Don't venture off to dark magic, bruh.

[Zanick]

When did I last shower?

[Bradley]

Would trying to find a new 4FMA connection be better than simply stocking other chemicals I have suppliers for already?

Will I get kicked off the bus if I drink vodka out of a subway cup? It is a 3hr bus ride.

Is there a limit to how many questions we can ask you?

Why does it feel good to be bad/have bad thoughts?

Edit:

Originally Posted by zanick

When did I last shower?

That is not the future, Great Vizier has told you he only sees the future.

[Number13]

Where the fuck are my keys?

[shopping cart for brains]

Emajor, Am#5/C...

what the fuck is the next chord?

[L33tz]

when will i die?

[Bradley]

Originally Posted by L33tz

when will i die?

Bang.

[dephdiddy]

Originally Posted by TheBlackDalia

Psychics are full of shit just like OP.

Your existence must be very blissful.