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  #1  
Old 03-05-2012, 05:41 PM
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Default How to make love to your dog

This guide is dedicated to DogCuntFucker. Stay fucking that dog pussy bro.

Legality
It is currently prohibited in thirty states to have sexual contact with an animal. This is why you must keep it a secret and make sure that you are secluded during the act. Here is a list of states that it is illegal in:

http://www.animallaw.info/articles/ovuszoophilia.htm

Why make love to my dogs?

Deep inside, your dog secretly hungers for more than the companionship offered in the usual human - dog relationship. They are LONELY, and tired of all these mutts who don't know what they're doing fucking them so roughly. That is where you come in. We humans are much more intelligent than dogs, and thus can make better lovers IF we educate ourselves. Plus, dogs make great lovers for humans as well. Their sloppy tongue feels great against my balls, and their oral skills on girls far surpasses that of any human male due to them having much longer tongues enabling them to reach places a human can not.

Anatomy

Before you can proceed to making sweet love to your dog, you must first understand their sexual anatomy. This is crucial to being able to sexually satisfy your dog.

Females

Before they have their first heat, the opening of the vagina is very small. Once it opens up for the bitch's first heat, the opening never goes back to as small as it once was, though it will shrink a bit when she is no longer in heat. Depending on how large the dog is, the first 1 - 2 inches of the vagina is at a 45 degree angle upwards, then goes on a few more inches until it ends at the cervix. Inside her vagina is also her bladder, which she urinates from. She also has a clitoris just inside her vulva. Here is a diagram:



Heat cycles are also important to know if you are going to be penetrating her vagina so that you will be aware of when she will be most receptive to your come on. The first stage is proestrus. The bitch's vagina swells up and releases a bloody discharge. The stage lasts for five to nine days and she will NOT be receptive to your sexual come ons in this stage. The next stage, extrus, is when she will be the most receptive. The stage also lasts five to nine days and is when the bitch will be open to your love.

Males

Dog penises are very different to that of humans. They have a bone inside of their penis to provide support, and it enclosed in a sheath in order to keep it protected from the environment. Sperm is produced in testicles similar to that of us humans though.



Oral:

First you will need to give the dog full access to your privates. Lay on your back on the edge of your bed and spread out your legs as far as you're comfortable doing so, with your legs off the bed giving your dog the best possible access to your pussy or penis. The first time, offer your dog a treat and spread it out on your genitals to get him/her used to licking you there. Peanut butter works well, but it varies from dog to dog. Just use whatever your dogs favorite treat is. If you're a guy, be EXTRA CAREFUL not to let him bite your balls off while he's licking you. My dog Rex was licking peanut butter off of my shaft once and he nibbled a bit. He didn't bite too hard, but I was bleeding a bit. I wouldn't recommend putting your penis inside your dogs mouth unless you're 100% sure she won't bite.

You can also give your dog oral. Start by gently rubbing his shaft until it becomes erect and leaves its sheath. Then give it a nice lick before swallow him whole. He should cum pretty quickly, all dogs are born with premature ejaculation. Expect a lot more cum when he ejaculates than you would from a human.

There's also the possibility of doing a 69 with your doggy. Lay under him and stimulate him/her with your mouth as your dog stimulates you as you've done before. I recommend trying this once you've already tried oral both ways.

Vaginal
Alright, time for some fucking! Get on your knees, put your torso on your bed and let him fuck you doggy style like the filthy bitch you are. Put some peanut butter on your pussy, let him lick it off you, and when you're good and wet he'll be able to smell it, and he'll mount you. Once he puts his knot inside you won't be able to remove it without injury to him and yourself until he's gone soft.

You can also be fucked your dog in a number of other positions. Just experiment until you find one you and your dog really enjoy. The missionary position is probably the most popularly used one among dog lovers.

If you want to fuck your dogs vagina, wait until she is in the estrus stage of heat. She will be willing to accept you inside of her then. Massage her clitoris gently to arouse her and then thrust your penis inside of her. While you're fucking lean in and bite her on her neck and ears to show you're dominant and that she's to submit to your will.

Don't neglect the fun of playing with her nipples as well. Female dogs are superior to humans in that they have at least six nipples for you to suck on and play with.

Anal

Before trying anal sex with your dog, make sure you get plenty of practice first so that you are able to take him fully. Purchase a dog penis dildo and work your ass with that until you're able to take him fully. You also need to accept that his knot may be in your ass for thirty minutes. Buy a dog dildo and practice with that. Lube up with olive oil or another natural oil, if you use Vaseline your dog's penis will fall off in to your asshole and you'll be forever stuck with a doggy penis up your ass. Lube up real good outside and inside your bum to make it easy for your dog. Also make sure your bum is clean of poo or you better be ready to lick that poo off your dog's dick when you're done. Now get in to the doggy position and take that dog cock up your ass.

BDSM

Feeling adventurous? Dog's hunger for sex extends beyond the conventional. They want to be bound and ball gagged. They want to be whipped on their sweet little doggy ass. They want to be bitten. They want you to light a candle and pour the hot wax on them. It's your responsibility as the doggy's lover to give him/her what they want. Just make sure you have a safe word set up in case it gets too intense. "ROOFROOFROOFROOF" works well. My bitch and I use light bdsm play as foreplay all the time.
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  #2  
Old 03-05-2012, 06:20 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

I hope a dog will eat your balls.
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Old 03-05-2012, 06:22 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

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Originally Posted by Vox Ducis View Post
I hope a dog will eat your balls.
Me too.
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Old 03-05-2012, 06:29 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

That's pretty sad if you actually wrote this.
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Old 03-05-2012, 06:33 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

sepht didn't start this thread?
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Old 03-05-2012, 06:51 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

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sepht didn't start this thread?
:helloberry:
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Old 03-05-2012, 07:18 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

enjoy your brucellosis and q fever fucktard

Quote:
Partial list of zoonoses

* Anthrax
* Babesiosis
* Balantidiasis
* Barmah Forest virus
* Bartonellosis
* Bilharzia
* Bolivian hemorrhagic fever
* Brucellosis
* Borrelia (Lyme disease and others)
* Borna virus infection
* Bovine tuberculosis
* Campylobacteriosis
* Cat Scratch Disease
* Chagas disease
* Chlamydophila psittaci
* Cholera
* Cowpox
* Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (vCJD),

a transmissible spongiform encephalopathy (TSE)
from bovine spongiform encephalopathy (BSE) or "mad cow disease"

* Crimean-Congo hemorrhagic fever
* Cryptosporidiosis
* Cutaneous larva migrans
* Dengue fever
* Ebola
* Echinococcosis



* Escherichia coli O157:H7
* Erysipelothrix rhusiopathiae
* Eastern equine encephalitis virus
* Western equine encephalitis virus
* Venezuelan equine encephalitis virus
* Giardia lamblia
* H1N1 flu
* Hantavirus
* Helminths
* Hendra virus
* Henipavirus
* Human Immunodeficiency Virus
* Korean hemorrhagic fever
* Kyasanur forest disease
* Lábrea fever
* Lassa fever
* Leishmaniasis
* Leptospirosis
* Listeriosis
* Lymphocytic choriomeningitis virus
* Marburg fever
* Mediterranean spotted fever
* Mycobacterium marinum
* Monkey B
* Nipah fever
* Ocular larva migrans
* Omsk hemorrhagic fever
* Ornithosis (psittacosis)
* Orf (animal disease)



* Oropouche fever
* Pasteurellosis
* Plague
* Puumala virus
* Q-Fever
* Psittacosis, or "parrot fever"
* Rabies
* Rift Valley fever
* Ringworms (Tinea canis)
* Rotavirus
* Salmonellosis
* Sodoku
* Sparganosis
* Streptococcus suis
* Toxocariasis
* Toxoplasmosis
* Trichinosis
* Tularemia, or "rabbit fever"
* Typhus of Rickettsiae
* Venezuelan hemorrhagic fever
* Visceral larva migrans
* West Nile virus
* Yellow fever
* Yersiniosis

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoonosis
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Old 03-05-2012, 07:20 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

Quote:
Originally Posted by is all mememememe with me View Post
enjoy your brucellosis and q fever fucktard
My face when I discovered I am immune.

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Old 03-05-2012, 07:23 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayweather View Post
I swear to God I've been looking for this guide for years. I saw it word for word on another forum.

Thank you.
I posted it under the name MrFriendlyFace on Totse a year ago. Reposted here for your masturbatory pleasure.
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Old 03-05-2012, 07:25 PM
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My face when I discovered I am immune.

read the list vvv way too many nasty diseases to be caught.
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Old 03-05-2012, 07:32 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

Quote:
Originally Posted by is all mememememe with me View Post
read the list vvv way too many nasty diseases to be caught.
Most of those diseases don't even apply to dogs. That's a list for animals in general. You aren't getting "parrot fever" from a dog.

Here's your logic applied to humans:

We shouldn't have sex with humans at all because of the risk of contracting HIV, herpes, gonnrhea, chlamidia, and genital warts.

You're only limiting yourself by using this same reasoning on dogs. There's risk when having intercourse with just about anything. The key is just managing your risk effectively.
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Old 03-05-2012, 07:46 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayweather View Post
How do you know when a female dog is in estrus? I'm using an English sheepdog but I've been nipped twice as a result of trying to penetrate. It's a puppy so I could easily hold it down but I want this to be mutually pleasurable.

Thanks in advance.
The vulva swells by 2-3x. But you really shouldn't have intercourse with the dog until she's fully grown.
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Old 03-05-2012, 07:48 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

-suscribes-
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Old 03-05-2012, 07:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayweather View Post
How do you know when a female dog is in estrus? I'm using an English sheepdog but I've been nipped twice as a result of trying to penetrate. It's a puppy so I could easily hold it down but I want this to be mutually pleasurable.

Thanks in advance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mayweather View Post
Thanks can you remove that quote from your post? The one above too.
LOL @ trying to hide his dog fucking activities.

You...fuck...dogs? LOL.
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Old 03-05-2012, 07:53 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpt-h0gEnUo


Your Post reminds me of this guys going away party
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Old 03-05-2012, 07:55 PM
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You take cement don't talk to me
You....fuck...dogs.....LOL.
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Old 03-05-2012, 08:01 PM
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mayweather can never talk shit on anyone ever again
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Old 03-05-2012, 08:02 PM
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This is my first post in this thread
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Old 03-05-2012, 08:05 PM
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This is my first post in this thread
http://flic.kr/p/bnRoPd

Orly?
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Old 03-05-2012, 08:12 PM
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Doggy style??
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Old 03-05-2012, 08:15 PM
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I don't know how to feel right now.
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Old 03-05-2012, 08:23 PM
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I don't know how to feel right now.
Turned on, probably.
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Old 03-05-2012, 08:23 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

Quote:
Originally Posted by ILTST View Post
Most of those diseases don't even apply to dogs. That's a list for animals in general. You aren't getting "parrot fever" from a dog.

Here's your logic applied to humans:

We shouldn't have sex with humans at all because of the risk of contracting HIV, herpes, gonnrhea, chlamidia, and genital warts.

You're only limiting yourself by using this same reasoning on dogs. There's risk when having intercourse with just about anything. The key is just managing your risk effectively.
a lot of them do tho. tell you what, hows this for managing your risk. only have sex with a species that is clean, gets vacinated against many diseases, have good treatments for most of the others they get and refrain from eating turds and all manner of filthy crap that they find laying around the floor and dont drink water from toilets.
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Old 03-05-2012, 09:51 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

When i was in middle school i had a video on kazaa of the family german shephard goin to town on a college age looking girl. Fucking the girl spread eagle style. Fucking hilarious
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Old 12-27-2013, 10:53 PM
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How does this have so many fucking views?
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Old 12-27-2013, 11:00 PM
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after reading im editing this to I hope you die you sick fuck

Last edited by Magicmoney; 12-27-2013 at 11:03 PM.
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Old 12-27-2013, 11:10 PM
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I sincerely hope bad things happen to you.
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Old 12-27-2013, 11:16 PM
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Old 12-27-2013, 11:27 PM
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Default Re: How to make love to your dog

Quote:
Originally Posted by ILTST View Post
This guide is dedicated to DogCuntFucker. Stay fucking that dog pussy bro.

Legality
It is currently prohibited in thirty states to have sexual contact with an animal. This is why you must keep it a secret and make sure that you are secluded during the act. Here is a list of states that it is illegal in:

http://www.animallaw.info/articles/ovuszoophilia.htm

Why make love to my dogs?

Deep inside, your dog secretly hungers for more than the companionship offered in the usual human - dog relationship. They are LONELY, and tired of all these mutts who don't know what they're doing fucking them so roughly. That is where you come in. We humans are much more intelligent than dogs, and thus can make better lovers IF we educate ourselves. Plus, dogs make great lovers for humans as well. Their sloppy tongue feels great against my balls, and their oral skills on girls far surpasses that of any human male due to them having much longer tongues enabling them to reach places a human can not.

Anatomy

Before you can proceed to making sweet love to your dog, you must first understand their sexual anatomy. This is crucial to being able to sexually satisfy your dog.

Females

Before they have their first heat, the opening of the vagina is very small. Once it opens up for the bitch's first heat, the opening never goes back to as small as it once was, though it will shrink a bit when she is no longer in heat. Depending on how large the dog is, the first 1 - 2 inches of the vagina is at a 45 degree angle upwards, then goes on a few more inches until it ends at the cervix. Inside her vagina is also her bladder, which she urinates from. She also has a clitoris just inside her vulva. Here is a diagram:



Heat cycles are also important to know if you are going to be penetrating her vagina so that you will be aware of when she will be most receptive to your come on. The first stage is proestrus. The bitch's vagina swells up and releases a bloody discharge. The stage lasts for five to nine days and she will NOT be receptive to your sexual come ons in this stage. The next stage, extrus, is when she will be the most receptive. The stage also lasts five to nine days and is when the bitch will be open to your love.

Males

Dog penises are very different to that of humans. They have a bone inside of their penis to provide support, and it enclosed in a sheath in order to keep it protected from the environment. Sperm is produced in testicles similar to that of us humans though.



Oral:

First you will need to give the dog full access to your privates. Lay on your back on the edge of your bed and spread out your legs as far as you're comfortable doing so, with your legs off the bed giving your dog the best possible access to your pussy or penis. The first time, offer your dog a treat and spread it out on your genitals to get him/her used to licking you there. Peanut butter works well, but it varies from dog to dog. Just use whatever your dogs favorite treat is. If you're a guy, be EXTRA CAREFUL not to let him bite your balls off while he's licking you. My dog Rex was licking peanut butter off of my shaft once and he nibbled a bit. He didn't bite too hard, but I was bleeding a bit. I wouldn't recommend putting your penis inside your dogs mouth unless you're 100% sure she won't bite.

You can also give your dog oral. Start by gently rubbing his shaft until it becomes erect and leaves its sheath. Then give it a nice lick before swallow him whole. He should cum pretty quickly, all dogs are born with premature ejaculation. Expect a lot more cum when he ejaculates than you would from a human.

There's also the possibility of doing a 69 with your doggy. Lay under him and stimulate him/her with your mouth as your dog stimulates you as you've done before. I recommend trying this once you've already tried oral both ways.

Vaginal
Alright, time for some fucking! Get on your knees, put your torso on your bed and let him fuck you doggy style like the filthy bitch you are. Put some peanut butter on your pussy, let him lick it off you, and when you're good and wet he'll be able to smell it, and he'll mount you. Once he puts his knot inside you won't be able to remove it without injury to him and yourself until he's gone soft.

You can also be fucked your dog in a number of other positions. Just experiment until you find one you and your dog really enjoy. The missionary position is probably the most popularly used one among dog lovers.

If you want to fuck your dogs vagina, wait until she is in the estrus stage of heat. She will be willing to accept you inside of her then. Massage her clitoris gently to arouse her and then thrust your penis inside of her. While you're fucking lean in and bite her on her neck and ears to show you're dominant and that she's to submit to your will.

Don't neglect the fun of playing with her nipples as well. Female dogs are superior to humans in that they have at least six nipples for you to suck on and play with.

Anal

Before trying anal sex with your dog, make sure you get plenty of practice first so that you are able to take him fully. Purchase a dog penis dildo and work your ass with that until you're able to take him fully. You also need to accept that his knot may be in your ass for thirty minutes. Buy a dog dildo and practice with that. Lube up with olive oil or another natural oil, if you use Vaseline your dog's penis will fall off in to your asshole and you'll be forever stuck with a doggy penis up your ass. Lube up real good outside and inside your bum to make it easy for your dog. Also make sure your bum is clean of poo or you better be ready to lick that poo off your dog's dick when you're done. Now get in to the doggy position and take that dog cock up your ass.

BDSM

Feeling adventurous? Dog's hunger for sex extends beyond the conventional. They want to be bound and ball gagged. They want to be whipped on their sweet little doggy ass. They want to be bitten. They want you to light a candle and pour the hot wax on them. It's your responsibility as the doggy's lover to give him/her what they want. Just make sure you have a safe word set up in case it gets too intense. "ROOFROOFROOFROOF" works well. My bitch and I use light bdsm play as foreplay all the time.
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Old 12-28-2013, 04:51 AM
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Posting in your average cocklet thread.
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Old 12-28-2013, 04:57 AM
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Yeah, no
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Old 06-30-2014, 05:28 PM
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bump
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Old 06-30-2014, 05:48 PM
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LOL @ Mayweather
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Old 06-30-2014, 06:43 PM
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Instant Misogyny, just replace "dog" and "bitch" with "woman"
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Old 06-30-2014, 07:09 PM
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by the hoary hosts of hoggoth!

let magic reign!

states rolf.
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Old 06-30-2014, 07:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slicknickns View Post
When i was in middle school i had a video on kazaa of the family german shephard goin to town on a college age looking girl. Fucking the girl spread eagle style. Fucking hilarious
as did I. timeless classic
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Old 06-30-2014, 07:25 PM
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Old 06-30-2014, 07:35 PM
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I'm really dissapointed in malice, I expected this thread to be from him.

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