The Great British Summer

[Shrike]

Have you ever heard such a bullshit phrase?
It fucking rains for days
This ain't summer you dogshit advertisers
It certainly ain't great, you make me fucking rage
Oh man we have the Jubilee, come sit on the risers
No thanks, I don't give a fuck about that old cunt
Grey bitch always looks miserable like someone ate her lunch
Oh boo hoo, I live in a fucking palace
Would it kill you to crack a smile once in a while you old slut?

Okay so you don't like the Queen, but don't worry
We've got the Olympics, with a special British themed McFlurry
Here, buy some of this leftover Jubilee jam
Spread it on your scones while you watch the footy
If you don't shut the fuck up I will put my foot in
Your face, sick of the rat race
I ain't even started it yet and already i'm sick of it
Walking past worker bees in their high rise offices and apartments
Every other one has a banner saying "to let"

70,000 square feet, flexible terms
What, you need more worker drones?
Hey man, those numbers aren't going to massage themselves
Everyone in this country is going straight to hell
We stopped dreaming, stopped believing
Content to bullshit ourselves that we're having a good time
When really all we do is work till we die

Concrete canyons, grey as the sky
Rain running down the gutters, streets awash with grime
Rivers of bullshit coming out of your mouth
Dripping off our faces and falling to the ground
Oh please we say, give us some more
I only need to work another 500 hours to afford this plasma tv
It's full HD
Marketing buzzwords make me sick to my stomach
I want to burn this whole place down, especially the government

Motherfuckers lie and cheat, and walk away scot free
It's like a fucking disease
There's nobody to turn to, nobody to help
I gotta escape from this cell
Get a plane ticket and fly away
Excuse me sir, not today
You are arrested for the crime of not wearing a suit
You look kinda suspicious, paying with cash
Just come here and step in this van
Sit in a cell for a few hours, can still remember it
Wasn't as bad as the place they took me next
A mental asylum, by another name

Stay there for 3 weeks, suppress the pain
I get out and see, what do I find?
I'm trapped here forever, always a caged mind
Nobody gives a fuck, why should they
This country is in late stage decay
Rotting from the inside like a ruined carcass
Fucking stinks of shit and i'm sick of it
Sick of your bullshit and sick of you
I'm going to find something else to chew

[southernsun]

You sir, are a poet.

[broseph]

got soaked walking to the shop and back and it's bloody late june.

[Shrike]

Originally Posted by broseph

got soaked walking to the shop and back and it's bloody late june.

Yeah me and all. I didn't have a jacket as i'd gone out in the morning and I couldnt be fucked to carry it if it got hot later. Then I got caught out in the rain, and people were giving me weird looks cos I was in my t-shirt. And it's like fuck you, i'm not wasting money on a shitty coffee to sit in the dry and hope this rain stops.

[reject]

Fuckin' rain woke me up at 5am it was hammering against my window so hard.

[ratfrink]

I've been working in the Cotswolds lately, and it's been bloody lovely.

[kite--]

Originally Posted by reject

Fuckin' rain woke me up at 5am it was hammering against my window so hard.

Lol, this.

And then it rained sideways into me as I walked to work, rendering my umbrella practically useless.

Fuck the UK.

[broseph]

Originally Posted by reject

Fuckin' rain woke me up at 5am it was hammering against my window so hard.

i love it, me.

woke up at 1pm to the sound of soothing rain on my open window and that lovely damp smell that you get in the air at this time of the year

[ayingerbrau]

Why are people in Britain so critical of the weather? It's absolutely fine to go outside 95% of the time over here. Fucking faggots. In the summer it even gets warm enough that you could sunbathe, if you want to get skin cancer.

[reject]

Originally Posted by ayingerbrau

Why are people in Britain so critical of the weather?

National pastime, don't question it, join it.

[Shrike]

Does anyone have any commentary about the bits that were not about rain? I wrote this pretty fast, it's not like it's a considered piece or anything though.

[reject]

This is my favourite verse:

"70,000 square feet, flexible terms
What, you need more worker drones?
Hey man, those numbers aren't going to massage themselves
Everyone in this country is going straight to hell
We stopped dreaming, stopped believing
Content to bullshit ourselves that we're having a good time
When really all we do is work till we die"

[Struwwelpeter]

What an ungrateful pig. This thread was almost as disgusting about your sexual infatuation with the shitskin neighbor of yours. Why don't you fly on down to my cameraman's residence in Kingwood, Texas and experience a summer that will leave you in the intensive care unit with medicated petroleum jelly slathered all over your caramelized body.

[reject]

No homo.

[reject]

It's real sunny here right now.

Still windy as fuck though, but at least it's sunny.