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  #1  
Old 09-18-2012, 01:53 AM
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Smile Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

I'm in a relationship, so I have no reason to do this, but I've always been curious:

How exactly does someone find a massage parlor that does happy endings? Do you just have to take a chance, or is there a list somewhere? Just seems like kind of a risk to take a chance.

Let the jokes begin.
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Old 09-18-2012, 01:54 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

www.myredbook.com

Note: this site only helps if you live in California
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  #3  
Old 09-18-2012, 02:00 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

There are a few of those where I live, but the massage parlors are more of a legal loophole name for whore houses. I found out about them because people give these parlor cards in the streets, much like a very shitty version of what they do in Vegas.

So you go there, and they display the available chicks and in most occassions they all wear masks to cover most of their face (except the mouth, obviously). You pick one, they take you to a room, they give you a mediocre massage but they rub their bodies against yours sometimes and if you get as easily excited as me you'll get a boner not much later. They'll grab your cock and stroke it and depending on what "service" you paid for, they'll wrap a condom on it and let you fuck them.
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Old 09-18-2012, 02:03 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

They may have listings on Craigslist.
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  #5  
Old 09-18-2012, 02:05 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

There's a whole bunch in Manhattan, my buddy went to one and said it was incredible. Id rather get my nut off the old fashioned way, actually having sex with a woman who I actually know for free.
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  #6  
Old 09-18-2012, 02:14 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

In Orlando all you have to do is look for the massage parlors with blacked out windows and names like "Asian Flowers" .
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Old 09-18-2012, 02:19 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Houston, TX:

1960/Champions Forest. Massage Parlor behind Blue Water Cafe. Hand-jobs.

Behind The Meridian concert venue: There is a brothel/laundromat (so I've been told)


Other than that look in the back of the Houston Press. tons of rub n tug massage adverts in there.


Look for places that have an "optional extra time" offer or something. Asian run parlors are usually a safe bet as well.
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Old 09-18-2012, 02:20 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

I don't take part in anything like this and I live in a small city and even I know where the local brothels/happy ending massage parlors are
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  #9  
Old 09-18-2012, 02:22 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Quote:
Originally Posted by arleybob View Post
I don't take part in anything like this and I live in a small city and even I know where the local brothels/happy ending massage parlors are
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Old 09-18-2012, 02:22 AM
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Smile Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Just ask.
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  #11  
Old 09-18-2012, 02:23 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Quote:
Originally Posted by Retard Synrdome View Post
Just ask.
Soliciting prostitution is illegal [in the United States].
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  #12  
Old 09-18-2012, 02:33 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

I used to buy leather cleaner/Rush/liquid incense, whatever you wanna call it. So I know where to buy it. That's all.
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  #13  
Old 09-18-2012, 02:35 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Quote:
Originally Posted by arleybob View Post
I used to buy leather cleaner/Rush/liquid incense, whatever you wanna call it. So I know where to buy it. That's all.
..Bath salts? What the fuck are you talking about?
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  #14  
Old 09-18-2012, 02:38 AM
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Mad Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Quote:
Originally Posted by constantinople View Post
Soliciting prostitution is illegal [in the United States].
Do you intend on soliciting with cops present?
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  #15  
Old 09-18-2012, 02:39 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

I'm in a relationship, so I have every reason to do this
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  #16  
Old 09-18-2012, 02:39 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Not bath salts, no. It's like the same shit they did in Fear and Loathing, amyls, I think. Only in liquid form. You huff it and it gives you a shitty but intense high for like 15 seconds. My friends and I used to do that shit while drinking, it was lulz.

edit: sold in bathhouses and similar places because gay guys use it to loosen up their buttholes
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  #17  
Old 09-18-2012, 02:41 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

just get the escorts from craiglist
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  #18  
Old 09-18-2012, 03:13 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Quote:
Originally Posted by arleybob View Post
Not bath salts, no. It's like the same shit they did in Fear and Loathing, amyls, I think. Only in liquid form. You huff it and it gives you a shitty but intense high for like 15 seconds. My friends and I used to do that shit while drinking, it was lulz.

edit: sold in bathhouses and similar places because gay guys use it to loosen up their buttholes
Amyl nitrites, aka poppers. Head rush followed by a massive headache.

Might as well take a big hit of nicotine and smash your head against a wall.
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  #19  
Old 09-18-2012, 03:16 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

lol yeah, exactly. they're retarded but we did a lot of stupid shit now that i think of it.
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  #20  
Old 09-18-2012, 03:16 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

i first discovered them in Denver by some bum who made me by one for him and me to share in a back lane. We sat on a rotten couch and got stupid.
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  #21  
Old 09-18-2012, 03:20 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Quote:
Originally Posted by HelloClarice View Post
names like "Asian Flowers" .
This seems to be as true in Northern California and Australia as it is in Orlando....which leads me to believe it's the same all over the world
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  #22  
Old 09-18-2012, 04:44 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

backpage
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  #23  
Old 09-18-2012, 04:46 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

there wa sosme site one of the infrequent perverts here on this ite had posted...like eroticreview.com or something.
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  #24  
Old 09-18-2012, 04:58 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Poppers and everclear kool-aid were the shit when I was 19.
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  #25  
Old 09-18-2012, 05:00 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

That kinda thing is legal in Canada. Just look in the yellow pages under massages, adult.

http://www.yellowpages.ca/search/si/...io?showDD=true
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  #26  
Old 09-18-2012, 06:40 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Kill Null Airtime View Post
Poppers and everclear kool-aid were the shit when I was 19.
Try 15.....
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  #27  
Old 09-18-2012, 07:00 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

usasexguide or internationalsexguide dot com will likely have relevant info. eccie dot net may as well.
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  #28  
Old 09-18-2012, 07:10 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Mutant Funk Drink, I recall you being in Australia. If so, which city? (pm).
Over he at least, ANYWHERE that advertises as 'traditional Thai massage' ESPECIALLY if they don't have big posters up on the walls showing their chiropractic qualifications and licensing or whatever the fuck, is a happy ending parlor.
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  #29  
Old 09-18-2012, 07:33 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mutant Funk Drink View Post
I'm in a relationship, so I have no reason to do this, but I've always been curious:

How exactly does someone find a massage parlor that does happy endings? Do you just have to take a chance, or is there a list somewhere? Just seems like kind of a risk to take a chance.

Let the jokes begin.
I went to a massage parlour once but it was really just a 1 bedroom slum, I paid £35 for half an hour with some fat gothic bitch, it was just her who did it so I can only imagine how many men she went through in a day, would I go back? no. She couldn't even do a good massage and thats what I went there for originally, plus to get my dick sucked to which she insisted I put a condom on, I'm clean bitch.

This place was just a blue door, had no signs or anything that said what it was, you only found out about it through word of mouth.

All that being said, I wouldn't mind spending an hour with some petite Oriental to give me a good rubbing down.
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  #30  
Old 09-18-2012, 07:36 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Hey Kwinnie,

I merely visited Australia 6 years ago, and I've never lived there.
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  #31  
Old 09-18-2012, 07:44 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

In my Yellow Pages there are "Registered Massage Therapists" and "Massage Services". You may draw your own conclusions.

Very often rub parlors have street front locations with the ubiquitous red and blue "Open" signs. Registered therapists are more likely to be without the neon sign.

If the place is open after 6 it's likely to be a "handy" place. A couple of signs I pass regularly are still lit at 10:30/11. How likely is it that they're legit?

Last edited by Sir Cornwell; 09-18-2012 at 07:48 AM.
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  #32  
Old 09-18-2012, 08:49 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

Quote:
Originally Posted by southernsun View Post
plus to get my dick sucked to which she insisted I put a condom on, I'm clean bitch.
yeh but she isnt
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  #33  
Old 09-18-2012, 09:24 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

http://www.punternet.com/saunaguide.html#Parlours

Pretty much all the shit in there with some different variables to each situation.


Also Adultwork.com
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  #34  
Old 09-18-2012, 09:59 AM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

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yeh but she isnt
She was, we did 69 and me being a drunken idiot at the time, got stuck right in. Face was dripping afterwards.
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Old 09-18-2012, 02:39 PM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

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Originally Posted by southernsun View Post
She was, we did 69 and me being a drunken idiot at the time, got stuck right in. Face was dripping afterwards.
You fucking what?

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Old 09-18-2012, 02:48 PM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

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You fucking what?

I know, I was hammered and couldn't even get a hard on, I blame the drink, but she was disgusting though.
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Old 09-18-2012, 02:54 PM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

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Originally Posted by King of the world View Post
Also Adultwork.com
I found a girl I went to college with on that site, offering her 'services', she was engaged at the time aswell, so I did the respectable thing, created a fake profile on facebook and messaged her fiance her profile link.

They arn't together anymore.

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  #38  
Old 09-18-2012, 03:26 PM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

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Originally Posted by Unwyred View Post
The little Asian massage parlor in our mall got busted and shutdown for this. And to think of all the times I walked past the little Asian woman out front that kept asking me with an overenthusiastic smile if I wanted to come in and, "take a load off." I never knew what she really meant by that until after they were closed.
Bullshit
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Old 09-18-2012, 05:16 PM
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rubmaps.com
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Old 09-18-2012, 05:54 PM
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Default Re: Finding a "happy ending" massage parlor

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Originally Posted by Unwyred View Post
The little Asian massage parlor in our mall got busted and shutdown for this. And to think of all the times I walked past the little Asian woman out front that kept asking me with an overenthusiastic smile if I wanted to come in and, "take a load off." I never knew what she really meant by that until after they were closed.
You'll make a fine detective someday.
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