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  #1  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:17 AM
InspiredByMe InspiredByMe is offline
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Embarrassed I need to kill a tree...

A sweetgum tree specifically. It is my neighbors and they are old. They have a guy to come mow their lawn every 3 weeks or so. This asshole sweeps all the gumballs to my side of the lawn and it's annoying as hell when mowing the lawn or watering the garden. Is there any poison or other chemical I can shoot the tree with to kill it? Preferably I wouldn't want to kill it, just to stop it from producing gumballs.
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Old 04-27-2009, 01:22 AM
samguy700 samguy700 is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

lols i have no idea but try idk salting it or drill a hole in it and pour salt in it
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  #3  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:25 AM
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

10 pounds of a HE and an alibi.

Al
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Old 04-27-2009, 01:26 AM
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

[1] Buy a wrist rocket [powerful type of sling shot]
[2] Send high velocity gumballs back to said asshole
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Old 04-27-2009, 01:29 AM
yawanur yawanur is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Oh, and the obvious one- Go talk to your elderly neighbors and explain your problem. I don't think they'd have a problem with telling the landscaper to pile that shit somewhere on their property.
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  #6  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:30 AM
InspiredByMe InspiredByMe is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Thanks for all the nonsensical ideas guy

I need something that is injected directly into the tree or else they will find out.
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  #7  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:30 AM
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Molotov everything
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  #8  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:31 AM
InspiredByMe InspiredByMe is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Runaway_Stapler View Post
Oh, and the obvious one- Go talk to your elderly neighbors and explain your problem. I don't think they'd have a problem with telling the landscaper to pile that shit somewhere on their property.
I have already done that and he said he didn't care and probably complained to them or some shit.
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  #9  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:32 AM
Death Snuggle Death Snuggle is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

IDK.... Maybe go buy some root killer(put into solution if necessary) and dump at the base of the tree?
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  #10  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:33 AM
InspiredByMe InspiredByMe is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

The trees frickin huge and has survived tons of things. No ordinary root killer will do it.
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  #11  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:34 AM
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Climb up the tree. Then drill a vertical hole. Then pour poison in.
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  #12  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:37 AM
Death Snuggle Death Snuggle is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Quote:
Originally Posted by InspiredByMe View Post
The trees frickin huge and has survived tons of things. No ordinary root killer will do it.


Now we're talking drain cleaner and try to find one with a sulfuric acid base. If you can't find that, I'd opt for hydrochloric acid which can be bought by the gallon for under $5 at hardware stores as Muriatic acid or drive way/concrete cleaner. Dump the whole bottle all around the base and if that doesn't kill it, I'm not sure what will. You could go the opposite route of lye which you'd need to put into a solution. I guess it just depends on what you have access to. Also note it's not a wise idea to get any of this shit on your hands. I can deal with lye and hydrochloric acid fine, but I know some people that it burns.
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Last edited by Death Snuggle; 04-27-2009 at 01:40 AM.
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  #13  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:38 AM
samguy700 samguy700 is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LastHand View Post
Climb up the tree. Then drill a vertical hole. Then pour poison in.
this
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  #14  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:39 AM
samguy700 samguy700 is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

or termites
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  #15  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:44 AM
InspiredByMe InspiredByMe is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Death Snuggle View Post


Now we're talking drain cleaner and try to find one with a sulfuric acid base. If you can't find that, I'd opt for hydrochloric acid which can be bought by the gallon for under $5 at hardware stores as Muriatic acid or drive way/concrete cleaner. Dump the whole bottle all around the base and if that doesn't kill it, I'm not sure what will. You could go the opposite route of lye which you'd need to put into a solution. I guess it just depends on what you have access to. Also note it's not a wise idea to get any of this shit on your hands. I can deal with lye and hydrochloric acid fine, but I know some people that it burns.
I know my chemistry but acids are not what I'm looking for.

What I'm looking for is a high concentrated poison or other chemical to stop it from producing gumballs that can be shot into the tree.
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  #16  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:48 AM
LastHand LastHand is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Quote:
Originally Posted by samguy700 View Post
or termites
Termites eat dead wood. Not live wood....

Thermite would work...hehehe
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  #17  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:50 AM
InspiredByMe InspiredByMe is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LastHand View Post
Termites eat dead wood. Not live wood....

Thermite would work...hehehe
What do you guys not understand about stealthy?
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  #18  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:52 AM
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Quote:
Originally Posted by InspiredByMe View Post
What do you guys not understand about stealthy?
Go back to my last idea.... Do it at night..... prolly any herbicide would work....
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  #19  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:53 AM
yawanur yawanur is offline
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Grin Re: I need to kill a tree...

Quote:
Originally Posted by InspiredByMe View Post
I have already done that and he said he didn't care and probably complained to them or some shit.
This response sounds like you talked to the landscaper- Did you talk to him or the elderly people? If the elderly people say they don't care[], clean up all the shit into a bag and leave it on their front porch with a removal bill for the time you spent. But normal elderly people aren't completely inconsiderate assholes, and should have no problem telling the landscaper nicely to cut the shit.
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  #20  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:53 AM
The Savage The Savage is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Frackle View Post
10 pounds of a HE and an alibi.

Al
This ^^^.

However, if for some reason you don't want to rattle every window in a 10 block radius and be the first person to launch a sweet gum into orbit (fuck knows why someone wouldn't? maybe gay?) Bore some decent sized holes at a downward angle into it and fill them with kerosene then cover the holes with something. Apparently it takes a little while but works.
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  #21  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:54 AM
InspiredByMe InspiredByMe is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LastHand View Post
Go back to my last idea.... Do it at night.....
I've used thermite before, not stealthy at all. If it catches on fire I'm screwed, thermite burns bright and they will probably see it.

As much as I'd like to use my favorite HE it will not work for what I'm doing. It will also wake up everyone in the neighborhood, last time that happened I was 12 using 5g of heavily compacted flash.

Maybe some KNO3 used for it's real purpose, stump remover.

Last edited by InspiredByMe; 04-27-2009 at 01:56 AM.
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  #22  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:54 AM
Death Snuggle Death Snuggle is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Quote:
Originally Posted by InspiredByMe View Post
I know my chemistry but acids are not what I'm looking for.

What I'm looking for is a high concentrated poison or other chemical to stop it from producing gumballs that can be shot into the tree.
Yeah, what you're expecting probably isn't going to happen. The only time trees don't totally preform their full "fruiting" (I guess I'll call it that) is when they're immature or deathly sick. Your only real option is to kill it or attempt to.

http://www.thriftyfun.com/tf86353601.tip.html
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  #23  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:56 AM
LastHand LastHand is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Quote:
Originally Posted by InspiredByMe View Post
I've used thermite before, not stealthy at all. If it catches on fire I'm screwed, thermite burns bright and they will probably see it.
no my other idea...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LastHand View Post
Climb up the tree. Then drill a vertical hole. Then pour poison in.
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  #24  
Old 04-27-2009, 01:58 AM
InspiredByMe InspiredByMe is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Quote:
Originally Posted by LastHand View Post
no my other idea...
What poison? That's what I'm looking for.
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  #25  
Old 04-27-2009, 02:00 AM
LastHand LastHand is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

http://forestry.about.com/b/2008/05/...kill-trees.htm

EDIT: Just go to Walmart and look for anything that remotely looks like it will kill plants.
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  #26  
Old 04-28-2009, 05:37 PM
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Moving to Bad Ideas.
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  #27  
Old 04-28-2009, 06:43 PM
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

1.kill the lawn guy
2.use the lawn guys body as an ax to cut the tree down
3. ??????
4. Profit
Should any of those ideas fail, steal the lawn guys truck and hook a chain around the tree and his bumper and attempt to yank the tree out. Should that not work either unhook the chain and drive the truck into the tree, hopefully the truck will blow up and kill you, the lawn man and the old ass neighbors. Oh and hopefully the tree to. If it kills you then you don't have to worry about the tree any more
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  #28  
Old 04-28-2009, 06:45 PM
P_R_Deltoid P_R_Deltoid is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

Gasoline and salt @ the base? :|
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  #29  
Old 04-28-2009, 06:48 PM
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

dig a hole... pour pounds of salt in, cover then water it from above, slowly all the grass will die around it then the tree will feel it.

try pouring bleach in it, drain cleaners, and other dangerous chemicals. make a hole somewhere no one will see. but i think its better to just tell them...
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  #30  
Old 04-28-2009, 06:56 PM
Death Snuggle Death Snuggle is offline
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Default Re: I need to kill a tree...

To elaborate why I would advise against drilling and poisoning, I leaves evidence and it shows that someone actually was aiming to kill that specific plant. If you used random acids or bases, it would look like someone tried to fertilize it and fucked up the ratios.
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