I have to break up with my girlfriend!

[Rykoshet]

For once I'm the one breaking up with her, even though I'm "in love". It's stupid, but I'm going to be strong enough and realize we're not looking for the same stuff, so we can't be together. And seriously, I'm 20, the only reason I see women as special now is because I'm like a kid who's eaten McDonalds all his life. I haven't sampled Japanese Steak, or Lobster that's only been fed Steak, or Eggs, Sausage, and Pancakes after a night of drinking.

I know it'll ruin me to expand my woman palette and start judging them more harshly, but in the end it'll be good for me, and help make sure I end up with the right woman, even if I meet her at 25 or 28.

Now my only worry is that I'm going to miss out on quality women by waiting another X number of years. But everyone worth a damn tells me it's a good idea to wait, and it'll help weed out all these girls who just want something casual when I want a LTR.

Fuck it, I'm turning back into a man-whore, though I guess I'll date on the side and if someone special comes along, I might change for them. It's a stupid idea, but it's the only way to keep from going super crazy falling in love with every woman I meet.

Sorry about the rant, I've had a moment of enlightenment where I realized the only reason I fall in love with women is because they're available. I don't get emotional contact from a girlfriend for a year, then one jumps in my lap and she looks like she's the real deal, no wonder I'd idealize her. Time to get back in the game and start dating for real, no more exclusively one-night stands and no crazy "I'm madly in love with you, let's get married" shit either.

Rykoshet is a changed man.

[Death Snuggle]

It's good to hear you have your wits about you.

[Rykoshet]

Originally Posted by Death Snuggle

It's good to hear you have your wits about you.

I totally don't, but realistically, girls come and go, and I can't say this one is perfect when I haven't met the rest.

I'm just biting the bullet and hoping this is the right choice. A more foolish me would run all the way to BC and be with her then find a way to switch schools and be with her there too. And then she'd dump my ass for being clingy, but I'd have made all these bad investments.

It's like the stock market, best to diversify.

[Death Snuggle]

That's more what I was leaning towards in my previous statement. At least you can see that it's probably not in your best interest to do these "hopeless romantic" gestures which usually come off as "I'm clingy, needy, and want a mommy."

I'd go the route of you don't think you can handle a long distance relationship so you can try and stay on amicable terms just in case.

[ZeroMalarki]

I always thought you were older Ryk, you have a commanding air of maturity to most of your posts.

[Rykoshet]

Originally Posted by Death Snuggle

That's more what I was leaning towards in my previous statement. At least you can see that it's probably not in your best interest to do these "hopeless romantic" gestures which usually come off as "I'm clingy, needy, and want a mommy."

I'd go the route of you don't think you can handle a long distance relationship so you can try and stay on amicable terms just in case.

That's what I will do. If she convinces me that she is looking for a LTR, she just wants some alone time to go to BC and do her thing, I'm cool with that. I'm not so jealous that I think she'll blow every guy over there, and at the same time I'm not stupid enough to sit at home waiting for her, so I'll be getting blowjobs of my own.

If when she comes back she's still into the LTR, then her going to school 3 hours away is nothing. I've got fridays off, and if I really wanted to that could be 3 days we spend together every week. More than most couples do, hardly long-distance.

If she changes her mind, well that's cool too, because I'm already moving on with my life and not being the sick puppy.

But you're right, 99% chance the best thing to do is let her go to BC on her own and see how it turns out.

[whimsi]

You gotta do what will make you happy. If you aren't as happy as you could be with this chick, find another one, or fly solo for awhile. Good plan, pal.

[Euda]

Good luck, sometimes it's the right choice. It's time to try and put yourself first for a while. There are worse things, without question. Living your life for you is a great way to have some fun and exercise the passions in your life.

You don't get pickier as you get to know more women, you get more tolerant. It gets easier to appreciate the little things. They're what count.

[Please insert username]

It is so good to hear it!

[Rykoshet]

Thanks a lot for the support friends. I'm hoping this ends well and there's breakup sex. I'm glad I-'m laughing about something I'd be crying about before. I think I've grown, yay!

[Silverfuck]

It's awesome that you're in a good place about things. Sorry things with zoo girl didn't work out, but I'm glad you know what you want and are focused on sticking to that. But you know, I disagree with you a little bit about the 'so many fish in the sea' thing. I mean, it's always easier to find someone who is 'better' in every quantifiable way: better looking, more direction in life, more successful, someone with whom you have a more in common, whatever it is that you're looking for. But love isn't always as simple as that, and chemistry and connection are a lot harder to come by. I wouldn't be so worried about finding lobster when you might find meat and potatoes more fulfilling on a visceral level, you know?

[ArmsMerchant]

With all due respect, OP, I suggest you give women and yourself a break, and stay away from them until you have grown up.

I'm guessing ten or twenty years might be about right.

[Candiru]

Originally Posted by Greyfox

With all due respect, OP, I suggest you give women and yourself a break, and stay away from them until you have grown up.

I'm guessing ten or twenty years might be about right.

Aren't you supposed to be old and wise?

"Fuck a lotta women kid, I got no reason to lie to you."

[darkeasterbunny]

Originally Posted by Greyfox

With all due respect, OP, I suggest you give women and yourself a break, and stay away from them until you have grown up.

I'm guessing ten or twenty years might be about right.

you just lost quite some of the respect i had for you. You drunk?


Good for you R. , being realistic bout yourself is far from easy I wish you luck

[Jerry]

Originally Posted by Rykoshet

It's like the stock market, best to diversify.

And hold as many stocks as possible to reduce unsystematic risk

-> go out with many girls to reduce risk of picking a loser.....

[Rykoshet]

I didn't break up with her (hey guys, look, Rykoshet is a moron!)

As it turns out, I talked to some friends, and the diversifying option was right. It means we go out until she goes to BC (and if she doesn't want to invite me, her loss), then when she gets back we can be together or not, her call (and mine if I change my mind in the mean time).

In the three months we're apart though, I'll be under no obligation to not see other girls. I think this is best, no reason to break up just because we're apart, and no reason to stay together just because we've had a fun fortnight.

Thanks everyone that replied, but I think I really am too young. 5 years is a LONG time, at 25 I'll be much more level-headed about finding the love of my life.

[Trauntj]

how long have you been with her? I'm going to guess less than a year since you said something about long-term a possibility. glad some people know how to handle things maturely when situations like this arise. I'm currently having to witness relationships around me so frustratingly inane I'm in mind-numbing agony. ones where the guys are pussies and tools who once in a relationship can't think for themselves if they even did before, and the girls are so fucked up in the head arrogant, ignorant, ego-inflated and/or self-centered but the guys can't function without the women yanking their balls by the grip of their wrist (unless something traumatic happens, then they break down). its just sad and hilarious. I take solace however knowing that I will always be a better person than them but have enough maturity to still know I'm still just one person in regards to others perception. I expect nothing from anyone.

so on that note, you my respect and good luck in whatever you do; you'll make the right decision.

[THIS IS IMPORTANT GODDAMNIT]

Rock'nroll can save you.


LET IT TAKE YOU OVER

[Marty McFly]

1. I thought you were at least 23, if not older.
2. You have a girlfriend? wtf. You were always a slut.
3. Join the legion you pussy. I'll see you there.

4. This doesn't seem like A. You, and B. Your posting style. Waaaaay too lovey dovey/soft cock-ish.

[Rykoshet]

Originally Posted by arquin

1. I thought you were at least 23, if not older.
2. You have a girlfriend? wtf. You were always a slut.
3. Join the legion you pussy. I'll see you there.

4. This doesn't seem like A. You, and B. Your posting style. Waaaaay too lovey dovey/soft cock-ish.

1) Nope, but thanks.

2) I always wanted a girlfriend. Every girl I slept with I secretly wanted a relationship with. Thank God I didn't act on it, but still, feeling's there.

3) Sure, little known fact about me but I can always be talked into joining the FFL. If you want to meet in France, I'm down. Ideally I'd want to defect after 2-3 years though, 5 years is a long time.

4) Fuck you dude, I came to my senses. I think this is one of the more mature posts I've made.

[whimsi]

Originally Posted by Greyfox

With all due respect, OP, I suggest you give women and yourself a break, and stay away from them until you have grown up.

I'm guessing ten or twenty years might be about right.

Aren't you like on your 3rd or 4th marriage?

You should know more than anyone that the woman you're with is not necessarily the woman you're going to be the most happy with.

There is more to a relationship than simply being comfortable and content. The right relationship can be a lot more fulfilling than that.

[Gadooosh!]

Originally Posted by Rykoshet

Sorry about the rant, I've had a moment of enlightenment where I realized the only reason I fall in love with women is because they're available. I don't get emotional contact from a girlfriend for a year, then one jumps in my lap and she looks like she's the real deal, no wonder I'd idealize her.

Lucky you, I haven't seen a proper woman for about 2 years without thinking she's just basically a vagina

Where the fuck are all the quality women!

[Rykoshet]

Originally Posted by Gadooosh!

Lucky you, I haven't seen a proper woman for about 2 years without thinking she's just basically a vagina

Where the fuck are all the quality women!

Meh, you just have to go out and find them, it helps if you look at the same places you have hobbies at. I drop by my music store to just browse every so often...and by browse I mean browse for chicks.

[psycho_8b]

You're 20 mate. Go out and enjoy it.

I'm one to talk, of course. I turned 24 yesterday and I've been with my missus about a year and a half...But everyone's different and you find people at different stages of life.

I'm happy with mine but if you feel like you need to explore more, do it man!

[Death Snuggle]

Originally Posted by Gadooosh!

Lucky you, I haven't seen a proper woman for about 2 years without thinking she's just basically a vagina

Where the fuck are all the quality women!

Raise your standards?

[Rykoshet]

Well, it was a combination of "taking it easy" and as Greyfox suggested, "bunkering down" that made me decide not to bring anything up. Basically, it's kinda left to chance.

But because we didn't discuss or fight over anything, we had more time for sex. So everything worked out in the end, though I still want a long-term relationship, and if anything, I understand women less now.

[Syphilis]

Good. You should always be the one who ends it. No matter what.

[Nefret]

You know, it pisses me off that when a guy starts a thread about wanting to experience more in life so he breaks up with his girlfriend, everyone pats him on the back for making the mature wise decision.
However when I did this all I got was, you broke his heart you stupid evil bitch, you don't deserve to live and I hope you get aids. I'm looking at that faggot chichi specifically but there were a good amount of others too.
I support your decision. It worked out very well for me and was exactly what I needed. Even though I didn't end up getting to stay on the market for as long as I wanted it was worth it because I ended up with someone absolutely wonderful and amazing in every way.

If you read this chichi I hope you kill yourself in near forseeable future.

[Euda]

Originally Posted by Rykoshet

So everything worked out in the end, though I still want a long-term relationship, and if anything, I understand women less now.

Sometimes it's better that way. When you're wound too tight, it never hurts to loosen up.

Originally Posted by Nefret

You know, it pisses me off that when a guy starts a thread about wanting to experience more in life so he breaks up with his girlfriend, everyone pats him on the back for making the mature wise decision.

It's quite the double standard.

When a girl breaks up with a guy because she wants to experience life, people assume that she just wants to experience more guys.

When a guy breaks up with a girl because he wants to experience life, people assume that he wants more free time to pursue his hobbies and interests.

And yet, this is often the way it works out.

[Silverfuck]

Originally Posted by Euda

When a guy breaks up with a girl because he wants to experience life, people assume that he wants more free time to pursue his hobbies and interests.

And yet, this is often the way it works out.

And yet there's not a thing wrong with that.

[Euda]

Originally Posted by Silverfuck

And yet there's not a thing wrong with that.

When I was, well, your age, every relationship I had was an open relationship. I just don't have the interest in them anymore; I don't really see the attraction anymore. There's nothing wrong with any decision a person makes for them self, but some of them are pretty ridiculous.

There's nothing wrong with breaking up with your boyfriend to have sex with more guys, it's just not a very admirable choice to cloak it by saying that you're looking to experience life. It's far better than cheating on him with other people, but not as good as being honest and just saying that you'd like to sleep with other people.

I think I'm going to write a big godawful thread of my own soon; this has almost nothing to do with your post.

---

I don't see much wrong with that course of action, as long as the guy's willing to talk about it first. It's a far better choice than just ignoring your girlfriend to do other things.

[whimsi]

Originally Posted by Euda

When a girl breaks up with a guy because she wants to experience life, people assume that she just wants to experience more guys.

When a guy breaks up with a girl because he wants to experience life, people assume that he wants more free time to pursue his hobbies and interests.

I find that it is more often the opposite. When guys break up with a girl to experience life, people assume he just wants to not have to be monogamous and 'put up' with the obligations of an actual relationship, whereas with women breaking up with men, people chalk it up to being mature and 'she's thinking about her life and isn't depending on some guy to make her happy'

I just don't care why someone is breaking up with someone else. if you want to end a relationship and chase pussy for a couple of years, and that makes you happy, do it! If you want to break up and learn to paint for a few years and that is what makes you happy, DO IT!

[Silverfuck]

Originally Posted by Euda

When I was, well, your age, every relationship I had was an open relationship. I just don't have the interest in them anymore; I don't really see the attraction anymore.

There's nothing wrong with any decision a person makes for them self, but some of them are pretty ridiculous.

There's nothing wrong with breaking up with your boyfriend to have sex with more guys, it's just not a very admirable choice to cloak it by saying that you're looking to experience life. It's far better than cheating on him with other people, but not as good as being honest and just saying that you'd like to sleep with other people.

I think I'm going to write a big godawful thread soon.

Sometimes people need different things. Sometimes people need to date broadly and widely and sleep with a bunch of different people so they can settle down without feeling like they missed anything, and so they can learn through elimination what they are and aren't looking for in a partner; it isn't just about having an insatiable thirst for sex with a bunch of different people. Just because that idea doesn't appeal to you, it doesn't make it less valid. I can respect anyone who knows, truly, what they want and what they need to do to make themselves happy and to set themselves up for future success, and I can respect them doubly for actually going out and doing what they feel they need to do despite it not being an 'admirable' choice.

[Silverfuck]

Originally Posted by whimsi

I just don't care why someone is breaking up with someone else. if you want to end a relationship and chase pussy for a couple of years, and that makes you happy, do it! If you want to break up and learn to paint for a few years and that is what makes you happy, DO IT!

Exactly! In my eyes you're not doing anyone any favors by sticking around wishing you could be out fucking everyone else besides them. Some people just have to follow their curiosity and get it out of their systems before they can have a meaningful relationship. It's definitely not something I would want to do, but I see nothing wrong with it.

[whimsi]

Originally Posted by Silverfuck

Exactly! In my eyes you're not doing anyone any favors by sticking around wishing you could be out fucking everyone else besides them. Some people just have to follow their curiosity and get it out of their systems before they can have a meaningful relationship. It's definitely not something I would want to do, but I see nothing wrong with it.

Me either! As long as they aren't abusing anyone, or being dishonest... If you say "Hey baby, I want to have some sex" and she's all "Hey baby, that's cool"

If everyone is enjoying themselves, and no one is getting hurt, there's really no problem there.

If the desire is there, to sleep around, whatever... It's not just going to magically go away. So you're doing your partner a disservice staying with them and essentially wasting both of your time, if you're not into it.

[Euda]

Originally Posted by whimsi

with women breaking up with men, people chalk it up to being mature and 'she's thinking about her life and isn't depending on some guy to make her happy'

That is a pretty solid 90's kind of woman attitude. You go girlfriend.

Originally Posted by whimsi

I find that it is more often the opposite. When guys break up with a girl to experience life, people assume he just wants to not have to be monogamous and 'put up' with the obligations of an actual relationship

I haven't heard of any guys using that excuse to break up and have some fun in a while. Usually it's when a guy wants to go off travelling or just wants to focus on something other than their girlfriend.

Originally Posted by whimsi

I just don't care why someone is breaking up with someone else. if you want to end a relationship and chase pussy for a couple of years, and that makes you happy, do it! If you want to break up and learn to paint for a few years and that is what makes you happy, DO IT!

It's true, it doesn't matter at all. Go after what you want, and go after it with passion and dedication.

However, sometimes you have to stop and think. Thinking's dangerous; it regularly stops people from doing stupidly fun things. People make decisions about what they want and don't want. People don't need to sleep around - it's a choice. Stupidly fun choices are great, but they aren't always the best idea.

I did not condemn sleeping around. Repeat, I did not condemn sleeping around. It's just a choice and I don't see why anybody should hide it when that they've made that choice. Nobody needs to hide behind the words "experiencing life".

[whimsi]

Originally Posted by Euda

That is a pretty solid 90's kind of woman attitude. You go girlfriend.

I think you may be having problems making assumptions rather than reading. I said "people assume..." I never said that this was my opinion.

Originally Posted by Euda

I haven't heard of any guys using that excuse to break up and have some fun in a while. Usually it's when a guy wants to go off travelling or just wants to focus on something other than their girlfriend.

Again, you're making an argument against something I never said. I never claimed that I felt this way about the reasons anyone breaks up with anyone. I simply stated that, in my findings, people tend to assume that men break up with their girlfriends to go carousing.

I do not assume this.

Originally Posted by Euda

However, sometimes you have to stop and think. Thinking's dangerous; it regularly stops people from doing stupidly fun things. Stupidly fun things are great, but they aren't always the best idea.

I think that it stops people from doing things too often. The way that I look at it is, there's almost always enough time in life to correct mistakes made, but there's going to be less time to do all of the things you regret not doing, in the end.

Obviously, don't go on a rampage and run 12 people over with a car, that's a pretty big mistake... but the 'mistakes' most people make by acting impulsively are rarely so horrific and rarely have such damning repercussions.

Originally Posted by Euda

I did not condemn sleeping around. Repeat, I did not condemn sleeping around.

I never said you did.

This may be in response to other people, since Silverfuck responded to you as well, but I thought I'd throw it in there, since you seem to be doing a lot of reading between the lines in my posts.

[Euda]

Originally Posted by whimsi

Post

Except you seem to have missed the most important part. I know Silverfuck has you all hot in the giggly pants, but my posts right now don't have much to do with the topic.

Originally Posted by Euda

I think I'm going to write a big godawful thread of my own soon; this has almost nothing to do with your post.

[whimsi]

Originally Posted by Euda

Except you seem to have missed the most important part. I know Silverfuck has you all hot in the giggly pants, but my posts right now don't have much to do with the topic.

And now you're breaking into baseless insults. Wonderful. You're a real champ.

[Euda]

Originally Posted by whimsi

And now you're breaking into baseless insults. Wonderful. You're a real champ.

Being hot in the giggly pants a wonderful term that highlights sapphic desire in its purest form. There's nothing insulting about highlighting bisexuality, from what I understand.

I am not a happy camper and if I've caused offense, I'm sorry. All is not well in Eudaland and you're usually perfectly happy to talk about bisexuality and women for hours on end in IRC. I didn't see the harm in the comment.