Quick Relationship Question for Guys & Girls

[Jai614]

There are two scenarios:
[Scenario I]
A guy [Person A] really likes a girl [Person B], they kiss and have sex.
The next day he calls her and she tells him not to read too much into it.
She likes him, but does not want to get "involved", i.e. boyfriend and girlfriend.
He feels heart-broken, he feels like she led him on.

[Scenario II]
A girl [Person A] really likes a guy [Person B], they kiss and have sex.
The next day she has high hopes and anticipates in seeing him again.
He likes the girl but tells her he doesn't want to be involved in a relationship.
She feels used and played. She's emotionally hurt.

Both scenarios are technically the same, but do you think so?
Who is at fault [Person A] or [Person B] and/or do you feel differently about each scenario?
I'm also REALLY interested (but it's not required) as to why you chose your option.
So, Zoklet what are your thoughts?

Edit: I didn't want to make the post tl:dr since it was a 'quick question'. Read post 15 to put it in context. Applies for both scenarios.

[The Cheshire Cat]

inb4shitfest about double standards and all that other garbage. Hey.. they asked for equality, well now they have it.

[PieGirl]

I'm doing that to someone right now ^^

They're the same though, nothing else to say about the matter.

[Jai614]

Originally Posted by PieGirl

They're the same though, nothing else to say about the matter.

I get that, but what's your opinion on how the scenarios were handled. Is it person A or B that's at fault.

[Nameraca]

Hard to say if you didn't live it.

Get out and try your scenarios.

[ZeroMalarki]

Well, either lay your cards on the table at first or go into things not worrying about the consequences.

Yeah it's a shame, there is a person in each scenario who was let down, but that's just the way it goes. For a lot of people sex is just sex and if you don't know the score be prepared to face this.

Until you're "boyfriend and girlfriend" just about anything goes.

[JeremySoule]

In my opinion, both B's are at fault.

They should not have done anything with the other person, unless they wanted a relationship. Though, if they specifically told person A it was only a hookup, before anything happened, then it would be person A at fault.

[samguy700]

Originally Posted by Jai614

There are two scenarios:
[Scenario I]
A guy [Person A] really likes a girl [Person B], they kiss and have sex.
The next day he calls her and she tells him not to read too much into it.
She likes him, but does not want to get "involved", i.e. boyfriend and girlfriend.
He feels heart-broken, he feels like she led him on.

[Scenario II]
A girl [Person A] really likes a guy [Person B], they kiss and have sex.
The next day she has high hopes and anticipates in seeing him again.
He likes the girl but tells her he doesn't want to be involved in a relationship.
She feels used and played. She's emotionally hurt.

Both scenarios are technically the same, but do you think so?
Who is at fault [Person A] or [Person B] and/or do you feel differently about each scenario?
I'm also REALLY interested (but it's not required) as to why you chose your option.
So, Zoklet what are your thoughts?

person B how the fuck could you think otherwise, why did you even ask the fucking question

[DJ Meaty Cheeks]

Kill them all!

[ZeroMalarki]

Originally Posted by JeremySoule

In my opinion, both B's are at fault.

They should not have done anything with the other person, unless they wanted a relationship. Though, if they specifically told person A it was only a hookup, before anything happened, then it would be person A at fault.

Works both ways I suppose.

I personally wouldn't say until after wards, perhaps this is because I'd feel I'm jeopardizing my chances, or because I just wouldn't know what the scenario would be.

[Rich White Male]

They're the same, no one is at fault in either scenario.

[Nefret]

Like someone above me said, if you don't express your expectations before you move forward, you can't expect the other person to live up to them.

[redhead]

I think person A simply because I've been person B and felt really used and lead on and he had said the night before that he wanted a relationship. Not logical reasoning, just my experiences and biasses.

[Jai614]

Originally Posted by samguy700

person B how the fuck could you think otherwise, why did you even ask the fucking question

Chill tough guy, I'm hoping to get some good insight here.

--
For those who want the story in context here:

A guy [Person A] met this girl [Person B] at a company function, they exchange numbers and get together at a party the next day. They're both sober so their is no alcohol influencing their behaviour.
They agree to go to his/her flat to watch a movie, they makeout and then they have sex. It just happened, no one was lied to, manipulated or forced into anything.
Next day guy calls and talks to her. She has NO PROBLEM with the guy, but doesn't see him as someone she wants to be in a relationship with and expresses that to him.
Was he played and is she responsible for the emotional hurt that he feels?

The underlying question is who is responsible for expressing their expectations?
Since Person A is the person with the belief sex = automatic-loving-relationship, should he/she say something before they have sex?
or
Since Person B does not want a relationship he/she should say something and not be intimate with the person who wants/willing would have sex?

[whimsi]

It depends on information that isn't in either part.

Did Person B lie to Person A knowing that they expect more, but lie to score?
Was the situation really casual, meet at the bar, have a few drinks, person A invites Person B to their house and have sex?

It depends on the intentions and how well it was communicated. If person B is lying and being deceptive to get a piece of ass, it is person B's fault.

If it was just a misunderstanding, it is both of their faults or no one's fault for not clarifying expectations.

If person B claimed it was just casual, and person A chose to ignore it thinking "nah, (s)he'll love me for sure!" then it is Person A's fault.

[Jai614]

^^I put the scenario in context

[xxombie]

Both cases are the same, as in, genders can be switched around to either role.

As for where to put the blame, only the person getting hurt is at fault here. Person A should know that sex doesn't mean a relationship and feelings may be hurt. It's their own fault for expecting more from a physical encounter. As long as Person B didn't do or say anything else to give Person A any ideas then it's not their problem if Person A got hurt.

If Person B said something like tell Person A they were in love with them in order to get into bed with them, then they're an asshole and knew they were going to end up hurting someone.

I'm in the same situation right now. I recently met a guy and ended up hooking up with him. Now he's like in love with me and I don't know what to do because I didn't think fucking him meant I had to travel with him and shit.

Moral of the story is, fucking someone doesn't mean shit relationship wise.

[whimsi]

Originally Posted by Jai614

^^I put the scenario in context

Woops, I must have hit reply before yours was posted.

In that case... I think that both parties are a bit of a sod for not making their intentions clear.

I think that if a person only wants to have sexual relations with someone if there will be a relationship involved, then the burden of responsibility is on them to make SURE that there is one before involving themselves sexually. Since the girl did not lie or promise anything, there's no reason that she should be held directly accountable for his pain. He should be more wary.