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06-14-2009, 03:01 AM
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The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
From the guy that tried to pay his overdue fees with the picture of spider, we have two new sets of emails (hold on while I locate the Landlord one):
THE GYM
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 10.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Membership Renewal
Dear David
This is a friendly reminder to let you know your gym membership expired last week. Your membership is important to us and we would like to take this opportunity to show our appreciation by offering you a 20% discount on your membership renewal. We look forward to seeing you again soon.
All the best, Jeff Peters
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 April 2009 1.37pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Membership Renewal
Dear Jeff,
Thankyou for your friendly reminder and the kind offer to reduce my membership by twenty percent. I own a calculator but I could not work out how to do percentages on it so have estimated that I save around $372.10 off the normal price of $420.00 - Please confirm that this is correct and I will renew my membership immediately. Also, do I get a Fitness First sports bag with towel and drinking bottle included in the price? I own my own legwarmers and headband.
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.01am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Hello David
How did you come to that amount? Our half year membership fees are actually $460 but with the 20% discount as an existing member your renewing membership fee would be only $368 for the six months saving you almost $100 off the normal price. We are not Fitness First so do not have those bags.
Cheers, Jeff
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 10.18am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
Do I get free shipping with that?
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 12.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Free shipping with what? The $368 covers your membership fees for six months.
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 April 2009 2.26pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
By the power of Greyskull that is a lot of money but I admit to being in desperate need of increasing my body strength. My ten year old child often turns the taps off in the bathroom very tightly and I have to go several days without washing. I feel bad constantly having to ask the lady from next door to come over and loosen them for me, what with her arthritis and limited wheelchair access to my apartment. To be honest, I originally joined your gym with full intentions of attending every few days but after waiting in vain for someone to offer me steroids, I began to suspect this was not going to happen and the realisation that I may have to exercise instead was, quite frankly, horrifying. My aversion to work, along with the fact one of your employees, Justin, was rather rude, telling me to 'lift this', ''push that' dulled my initial enthusiasm of becoming muscular and I stopped attending.
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 9.17am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Hello David
Not sure how to take your email, nobody here would offer you steroids, it is illegal and none of our staff would do this. Justin is one of our most experienced trainers and if you found him rude while he was trying to be helpful and just doing his job then there are plenty of other gyms you could look at joining instead.
Cheers, Jeff
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.02am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
Yes, I have noticed that there are many gyms in my area. I assume the low qualification requirements of fitness trainers means that there is an over supply of these buffed but essentially otherwise purposeless professionals. I knew a guy in high school who couldn't talk very well and collected sticks, he used to call the teacher 'mum' and during recess we would give him money to dance. Then sell him sticks to get our money back. He went on to become a fitness instructor so I view gyms as kind of like those factories that provide a community service by employing people with down syndrome to lick stamps and pack boxes. Except with more Spandex obviously.
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 10.32am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Go f *ck yourself.
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 11.38am
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Dear Jeff
I was, at first, quite surprised at your response; one minute you are inviting me to renew my membership and asking me for money, the next insulting me. After doing a little research however, I have learnt that mood swings are an expected side effect of steroid abuse. As another side effect is a reduction in the size of your p#$%, this gives you understandable cause to be an angry person. I have also learnt that Spandex contains carcinogenic properties so this does not bode well for yourself and your shiny friends. If I woke up one morning and my p#$% was a quarter of the size I would probably take my anger out on those around me as well. There are probably support groups or websites that could help you manage your problem more effectively and picture based books available on the subject for people with limited reading skills. When I am angry I like to Listen to music by Linkin Park. The added angst and desire to cut myself works similarly to the way firefighters fight forest fires by burning off sections, effectively canceling each other out and I find myself at peace. I understand that you guys usually listen to Pet Shop Boys or Frankie Goes to Hollywood so this may be worth a try.
Regards, David.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.04pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
DO NOT EMAIL ME AGAIN
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.15pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Ok.
From: Jeff Peters
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.25pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
Is that you being a smartarse or agreeing not to email me again?
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 April 2009 1.32pm
To: Jeff Peters
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Membership Renewal Due
The middle one.
__________________
[QUOTE=Nereth;1910643]Women, right? You roll your car just one time...
[/QUOTE]
Last edited by Dfg; 08-06-2009 at 06:16 PM.
Reason: I found his website, so I editied into place of the other link, which went to News.com.au or something.
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06-14-2009, 03:05 AM
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
PETS
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Pets in the building
Hello David
I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises?
Helen
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing.
I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships.
For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners.
I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place.
Regards, David.
From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not?
Helen
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours.
The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh.
Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhoea.
Regards, David.
From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Hello David
You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok.
Helen
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
They are very small ducks.
Regards, David.
From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms.
These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss?
Helen
From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
Dear Helen,
The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway. .
Regards, David.
From: Helen Bailey
Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building
David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets.
Helen
__________________
[QUOTE=Nereth;1910643]Women, right? You roll your car just one time...
[/QUOTE]
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06-14-2009, 03:10 AM
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Member
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Thanks: 0
Thanked 4 Times in 4 Posts
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Beautiful
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06-14-2009, 03:10 AM
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Member
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: 卐 FUCK YOU 卐
Thanks: 242
Thanked 473 Times in 314 Posts
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
That dude is awesome.
__________________
W.P.B.G.
White Power Blood King
Soo Whoop
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06-14-2009, 03:36 AM
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Member
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Location: Australia
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Thanked 95 Times in 49 Posts
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
I haven't laughed that hard in so fucking long.
Haahahahahah.
Thanks mang, that was gold.
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06-14-2009, 03:41 AM
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Member
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Location: Inside your girlfriend
Thanks: 100
Thanked 625 Times in 337 Posts
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
LOL.
Normally when I type LOL, I'm not actually laughing. But this time I did.
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06-14-2009, 03:47 AM
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Regular
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Thanked 462 Times in 253 Posts
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
it is so good to hear it.
__________________
...So I Slam Her To The Floor, Set The Camera To Record, Throw Them Legs Up In The Air, Just Like Lamborgini Doors...
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06-14-2009, 03:55 AM
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Member
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Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
That man is a legend.
__________________
I don't need to have understanding
in order to have an opinion.
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06-14-2009, 03:57 AM
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Member
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Thanks: 105
Thanked 247 Times in 164 Posts
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
fucking brilliant.
i want to marry this guy.
__________________
Hakuna matata.
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06-14-2009, 04:00 AM
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Member
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Thanked 130 Times in 54 Posts
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
David Thorne is the fucking master. I enjoy laughing.
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06-14-2009, 04:09 AM
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Syphilis
LOL.
Normally when I type LOL, I'm not actually laughing. But this time I did.
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qfmft
__________________
☣B.o.C. Seven Forty Seven☣
R.I.P. &t Joined December 2005 (right before the big crash... remember that? Those were dark days)
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06-14-2009, 04:17 AM
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Banned
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Floriderp.
Thanks: 150
Thanked 105 Times in 58 Posts
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
The gym one was the best. Oh man, these are great!
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06-14-2009, 04:21 AM
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Regular
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Yeah, I almost choked when I read the part where he was describing how weak he was, and that he was disappointed that nobody at the gym had offered him steroids.
__________________
[QUOTE=Nereth;1910643]Women, right? You roll your car just one time...
[/QUOTE]
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06-14-2009, 04:38 AM
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Banned
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Floriderp.
Thanks: 150
Thanked 105 Times in 58 Posts
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Quote:
Originally Posted by KwinnieBogan
Yeah, I almost choked when I read the part where he was describing how weak he was, and that he was disappointed that nobody at the gym had offered him steroids.
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I laughed my ass off at that part. This guy is quite possibly one of the best IRL trolls ever. I look up to him as my hero
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06-14-2009, 06:16 AM
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Member
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Location: NEWCASTLE - AUSTRALIA
Thanks: 794
Thanked 239 Times in 188 Posts
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Haha fuck this guy wins at life.
__________________
Bornkiller . Star wars fan is a stupid fucking nigger. Toothless joe is an epic faggot.
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06-14-2009, 06:22 AM
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:<
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Thanks: 92
Thanked 128 Times in 85 Posts
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
holy fuck some dude sold the picture of that spider for 15k.
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=665808
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06-14-2009, 06:42 AM
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Fluent in Bullshit
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Location: Southwest Ohio
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Full of win. I haven't laughed so hard in quite awhile.
__________________
"These are lies propagated by the liberal media." 
"Do not attempt to swoon me with your intergalactic ways."
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06-14-2009, 06:48 AM
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Thanks: 38
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
I gave you thanks for the first post without reading the second. FUCKING BRILLIANT!!!!! I havent laughed like that in so long!! I just wish I thought of it first! 
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06-14-2009, 07:09 AM
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Regular
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
UPDATE:
I've found his website.
__________________
[QUOTE=Nereth;1910643]Women, right? You roll your car just one time...
[/QUOTE]
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06-14-2009, 09:59 AM
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Regular
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Sick shit, yo.
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06-14-2009, 10:26 AM
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
This is WHY the Internet came to be! To bear message of the new messiahs!
__________________
 This is one distrusting smiley.
Equality is mediocrity.
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06-14-2009, 11:01 AM
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Member
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
That guy is probably a Totsean.
__________________
Once is happenstance. Twice is a coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
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06-14-2009, 11:09 AM
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Regular
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
That is just awesome.
__________________
"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter and is, therefore, unsafe."
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06-14-2009, 12:34 PM
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Quote:
Originally Posted by KwinnieBogan
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subbie138 mailed me the link to that
The Animals in the apartment was a fuckin crackup
http://www.27bslash6.com/strata.html
__________________
we still exist, therefore totse isn't dead,  only evolved
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06-14-2009, 01:30 PM
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Wow, this is legendary!
I will sticky this thread for 24 hours to honor this guy.
__________________
Join: http://www.totse.info/bbs/
Change "forum1" to "bbs" if you get 404 error.
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06-14-2009, 02:13 PM
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Banned
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 11.04am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: R.S.V.P.
Dear Matthew,
Thankyou for the party invite. At first glance I thought it may be a child's party what with it being vibrant and having balloons but I realise you probably did your best with what little tools were available. I wouldn't miss it for the world. What time would you like me there?
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 3.48pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: R.S.V.P.
Hi David
Sorry the note was just to let you know that we might be a bit loud that night. The house warming is really just for friends and family but you can drop past for a beer if you like.
Cheers Matthew
From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 8 Dec 2008 5.41pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Thanks Matthew,
Including me in your list of friends and family means a lot. You and I don't tend to have long discussions when we meet in the hallway and I plan to put a stop to that. Next time we bump into each other I intend to have a very long conversation with you and I am sure you are looking forward to that as much as I am. I have told my friend Ross that you are having a party and he is as excited as I am. Do you want us to bring anything or will everything be provided?
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 10.01am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Hi David
As I said, my housewarming is just for friends and family. There is not a lot of room so cant really have to many people come. Sorry about that mate.
Cheers Matthew
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 2.36pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Dear Matthew,
I can appreciate that, our apartments are not very large are they? I myself like to go for a jog every night to keep fit but fear leaving the house so I have to jog on the spot taking very small steps with my arms straight down. I understand the problems of space restrictions all too well. If you would like to store some of your furniture at my place during the party you are quite welcome to - if we move your cane furniture into my spare room for the night and scatter cushions on the ground, that would provide a lot more seating and create a cozy atmosphere at the same time. I have a mirror ball that you can borrow. I have told Ross not to invite anyone else due to the space constraints so it will just be us two and my other friend Simon. When I told Simon that Ross and I were going to a party he became quite angry that I had not invited him as well so I really didn't have any choice as he can become quite violent. Sometimes I am afraid to even be in the same room as him. So just myself Ross and Simon. Simon's girlfriend has a work function on that night but might come along after that if she can get a lift with friends.
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 4.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Wtf? Nobody can come to the houswarming party it is just for friends and family. I dont even know these people. How do you know I have cane furniture? Are you the guy in apartment 1?
From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 9 Dec 2008 6.12pm
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Hi Matthew,
I understand it is an exclusive party and I appreciate you trusting my judgement on who to bring. I just assumed you have cane furniture, doesn't everybody? Cane is possibly one of the most renewable natural resources we have after plastic, it is not only strong but lightweight and attractive. Every item in my apartment is made of cane, including my television. It looks like the one from Gilligan's Island but is in colour of course. Do you remember that episode where a robot came to the island? That was the best one in my opinion. I always preferred Mary Anne to Ginger, same with Flintstones - I found Betty much more attractive than Wilma but then I am not really keen on redheads at all. They have freckles all over their body did you know? It's the ones on their back and shoulders that creep me out the most.
Anyway, Ross rang me today all excited about the party and asked me what the theme is, I told him that I don't think there is a theme and we discussed it and feel that it should be an eighties themed party. I have a white suit and projector and am coming as Nik Kershaw. I have made a looping tape of 'wouldn't it be good' to play as I am sure you will agree that this song rocks and has stood the test of time well. I am in the process of redesigning your invites appropriately and will get a few hundred of them printed off later today. I will have to ask you for the money for this as print cartridges for my Epson are pretty expensive. They stopped making this model a month after I bought it and I have to get the cartridges sent from China. Around $120 should cover it. You can just pop the money in my letter box if I don't see you before tonight.
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Wednesday 10 Dec 2008 11.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
What the fuck are yout alking about? There is no theme for the party it is just a few friends and family. noone else can come IT IS ONLY FOR MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY do you understand? Do not print anything out because I am not paying for something I dont need and didnt ask you to do! look I am sorry but i am heaps busy and that night is not convenient. Are you in Apatrment1?
From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 11 Dec 2008 9.15am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
Hello Matthew,
I agree that it is not very convenient and must admit that when I first received your invitation I was perplexed that it was on a Sunday night but who am I to judge. No, I am in apartment 3B. Our bedroom walls are touching so when we are sleeping our heads are only a few feet apart. If I put my ear to the wall I can hear you. I also agree with you that having a particular theme for your party may not be the best choice, it makes more sense to leave it open as a generic fancy dress party, that way everyone can come dressed in whatever they want. Once, I went to a party in a bear outfit which worked out well as it was freezing and I was the only one warm. As it won't be cold the night of your party, I have decided to come as a Ninja. I think it would be really good if you dressed as a ninja as well and we could perform a martial arts display for the other guests. I have real swords and will bring them. If you need help with your costume let me know, I have made mine by wrapping a black t-shirt around my face with a hooded jacket and cut finger holes in black socks for the gloves. I do not have any black pants so will spray paint my legs on the night.
It is a little hard to breathe in the costume so I will need you to keep the window open during the party to provide good air circulation. Actually, I just had a thought, how awesome would it be if I arrived 'through' the window like a real ninja. We should definitely do that. I just measured the distance between our balconies and I should be able to jump it. I once leaped across a creek that was over five metres wide and almost made it.
Also, you mentioned in your invitation that if there was anything I needed, to let you know. My car is going in for a service next week and I was wondering, seeing as we are good friends now, if it would be ok to borrow yours on that day. I hate catching the bus as they are full of poor people who don't own cars.
Regards, David.
From: Matthew Smythe
Date: Thursday 11 Dec 2008 3.02pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: R.S.V.P.
WTF? No you cant borrow my car and there is no fucking 3B. I reckon you are that guy from Apartment 1. You are not coming to my house warming and you are not bringing any of your friends. What the fuck is wrong with you??? The only people invited are friends and family I told you that. It is just drinks there is no fucking fancy dress and only people i know are coming! I dont want to be rude but jesus fucking christ man.
From: David Thorne
Date: Sunday 14 Dec 2008 2.04am
To: Matthew Smythe
Subject: Party
Hello Matthew,
I have been away since Thursday so have not been able to check my email from home. Flying back late today in time for the party and just wanted to say that we are really looking forward to it. Will probably get there around eleven or twelve, just when it starts to liven up. Simon's girlfriend Cathy's work function was cancelled so she can make it afterall which is good news. She will probably have a few friends with her so they will take the mini van. Also, I have arranged a Pińata.
Regards, David.
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06-14-2009, 02:33 PM
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
You should have included a picture of the invite, but yeah, I shat reading that one too.
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06-14-2009, 02:37 PM
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
^BAHAHHAHAA the last reply was fucking pwnage!
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06-14-2009, 02:59 PM
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Member
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
All of those were great.
What do they call this artistic medium?
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06-14-2009, 04:12 PM
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Regular
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Location: CO
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Hahaha thanks! I laughed pretty hard at this guy. Does he have a website or something?
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06-14-2009, 05:04 PM
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Regular
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackopsNinja
Hahaha thanks! I laughed pretty hard at this guy. Does he have a website or something?
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http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html
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06-14-2009, 05:32 PM
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25 characters? What the f
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: ████
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
http://www.dontevenreply.com/ works on a similar premise and I found a lot of them to be funnier.
Not quite sure why this thread is stickied.
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06-14-2009, 06:27 PM
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Quote:
Originally Posted by bornkiller
The Animals in the apartment was a fuckin crackup
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I totally agree. I also found the one about the party absolutely hilarious.
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06-14-2009, 06:31 PM
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Quote:
Originally Posted by CotDeath
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^
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dfg
Wow, this is legendary!
I will sticky this thread for 24 hours to honor this guy.
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For 24 hours only.
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06-14-2009, 06:42 PM
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
David Thorne :
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06-14-2009, 06:45 PM
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Location: Scotland
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
In this one he answered every question by using an 8 ball 
From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.38am
To: David Thorne
Subject: No Subject
Have you got a typeface called Garamond Semibold? I have the Garamond and bold and italic but not the semibold. I am doing a poster for Cathy and I reckon garamond would look good.
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.02am
To: Simon
Subject: Re: No Subject
As I see it, yes.
From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Garamond
Which one? Yes you have the typeface or that it would look good on a poster?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.52am
To: Simon
Subject: Re: Garamond
Concentrate and ask again.
From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.14am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Garamond
What the fuck? I need the typeface Garamond. Have you got it or not?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.18am
To: Simon
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Garamond
You may rely on it.
From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.29am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Garamond
Send me the typeface dickhead.
From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2.08pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Hey
Hey. Are you at work?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2.25pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: Hey
Signs point to yes.
From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2.53pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Hey
What? Can you drop over on your way home from work and help me lift a piece of glass up onto a table? It is too heavy to lift.
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 3.22pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hey
My sources say no.
From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 3.49pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hey
Are you serious? I tried lifting it a bit at a time and sliding books under it but I need heaps more books. Can you come for a quick drive now?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 4.02pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hey
Ask again later.
From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 4.57pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: ?
Are you going to help me on the way back from work or not?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 5.16pm
To: Mark Pierce
Subject: Re: ?
It is decidedly so.
From: Mark Pierce
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 5.24pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: ?
Good. Fuck you are annoying sometimes.
From: Justine Murphy
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 8.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Tree frogs ppt
Hi David, you forgot to send the attachment on your last email. Can you send it again please?
Justine
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 8.51pm
To: Justine Murphy
Subject: Re: Tree frogs ppt
You may rely on it.
From: Justine Murphy
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.15pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Tree frogs ppt
Ok. Can you resend it to me then please?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.26pm
To: Justine Murphy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Tree frogs ppt
Without a doubt.
From: Justine Murphy
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.44pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Tree frogs ppt
???? Did you attach it?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9.51pm
To: Justine Murphy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Tree frogs ppt
Don't count on it.
From: Justine Murphy
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10.27pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: ?
Are you fucking with me? Just attachment it ass hat.
From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.28pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: No Subject
Are you online?
From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.37pm
To: Simon
Subject: Re: No Subject
Concentrate and ask again.
From: Simon
Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11.41pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: No Subject
Fuck you.
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06-14-2009, 07:06 PM
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Location: Wisconsin, USA
Thanks: 706
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Quote:
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Originally Posted by david thorne
A few weeks ago, some guy in a shitty bmw parked in my 'reserved and paid for' parking spot in a small lot. I printed out an A4 (helvetica demi bold 12pt) note stating that this was a paid for parking spot and not to park there again. A couple of days later he parked there again. I printed out an A3 (helvetica black 42pt) sign stating 'Reserved Parking, Do not park here' sign and used spray adhesive (3MŽ) to mount it on the wall in front of my spot. When I went to park in my spot the next day he had written in texta, after "Reserved Parking', the words 'For Wankers'. About three days later I saw his car parked in the street so I printed out a poster in A2 (helvetica black, 92pt, reversed) with the word 'Fuckhead' and applied it with spray adhesive to his windscreen, ensuring (as per instructions) I sprayed both materials to be bonded. The disadvantage of course is that I am too scared to park in my spot but he is also too scared to park there so I will class this as a draw for the moment and find a new spot.
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lol awesome
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06-14-2009, 07:07 PM
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Quote:
Originally Posted by beergoggles
No, I am in apartment 3B. Our bedroom walls are touching so when we are sleeping our heads are only a few feet apart. If I put my ear to the wall I can hear you.
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I died laughing right there
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06-15-2009, 04:09 AM
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Quote:
Originally Posted by CotDeath
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I don't find that one alll that funny. It's too obvious that he's messing with them and it's practically all swearing, designed to wind them up.
The funniest part about David Thorne is that he acts so blase as he does it and for a bit, it's hard to figure out if he's messing with you or not. And watching the other person get angry as he stays so calm is what makes it hilarious. It's the contrast, as opposed to two angry people yelling at each other.
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I've always wanted a Sailor Moon tattoo, but haven't done yet it because I hate pain. -- ABBoD.
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06-15-2009, 05:00 AM
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Member
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Location: Wisconsin, USA
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Re: The guy that tried to pay his bill with a picture of a SPIDER is back...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Necro[keely]a
I haven't laughed that hard in so fucking long.
Haahahahahah.
Thanks mang, that was gold.
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This. I'm seriously trying to not wake everybody in the house up... I remember reading the spider one months ago and doing the same. Thanks for posting!
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