Phony Veteran Spotting!

[kelsokid18]

To make this thread as short and sweet as possible, I'd like to ask you guys to help me out. Recently, my best friend (more like the sister I never got) began dating a random guy she met online, who makes claims to being "an Army Ranger"

However, I believe him to be a phony motherfucker who is besmirching the name of real Rangers everywhere. Heres the rundown of the guys M.O. in the form of a bulleted list

• when asked about his service, replies with "I don't like talking about it"
• likes to brag about "seeing hardcore shit in Iraq"
• wears nothing but service-related shirts
• has a bunch of the typical tattoos
• claims he only served a 3 year hitch, but he's 20 years old. Which doesn't add, because that would have made him 17 at enlistment, and you have to be 18 to be named to Ranger school.
• claims that the only person he's told about his full term of service is my friend, he claims that the VA Hospital psychologists don't even know "the full story"
• claims to have gotten out "recently" but doesn't even appear to be in the physical condition someone who was recently discharged would have, no muscular tone or definition
• telling me all about "being able to kill me in one swipe"

I have nothing but respect for the men and women of our forces past, present, and future, but it makes me sick to think that I may have entrapped one of these "fake vets" you hear about in the news. Furthermore, I want to protect my loved one from this guy, because he has set off all kinds of alarms in my head.

What do you guys think, do I have something here, or am I being the dickhead?

[Comrade Phil]

He's a fake, kick his ass.

[King Owl]

Just ask him what unit, who his CO was, service number etc, theatres served, if he still has his theatre decorations, and a bunch of basic drill prodecures. If he refuses to answer, just call him a faggot liar and walk off. He'll either splutter up some excuse or get angry and try to beat the shit out of you. If the latter, he probably WAS a ranger who saw some fucekd up shit, but he should still be able to answer your questions instead of bitching out with some PTSD fag.

[kelsokid18]

Originally Posted by Comrade Phil

He's a fake, kick his ass.

My pleasure!

[SLIM]

You're just jealous he has a girlfriend and you're friend zoned.

[Ivy Mike]

Fake, ask for his service number.

[Valheru]

[*]when asked about his service, replies with "I don't like talking about it"

This could be interpreted either way. I don't like talking about my stint in the army, either, but it could simply be a handwave, too.


[*]likes to brag about "seeing hardcore shit in Iraq"

This is the clincher. If he doesn't like talking about it, he wouldn't "brag" about the "hardcore shit in eye rack".

The rest of the list are red herrings. His age and term of duty may not be relevant. I doubt if he is an army ranger if he's only twenty, though. If that's the case... then the US Rangers must suck hard if they have kids capable of running with the big dogs.

[Valheru]

Another thing: Soldiers LOVE taking pics, because you see the most bizarre, obscure or funny shit while on duty. Even in my days when we didn't have digital cameras, almost every outfit had some guy with a polaroid camera.

Get her to ask for pictures - if he can't produce them, he's fake.

[kelsokid18]

Originally Posted by goldfingerfuck

You're just jealous he has a girlfriend and you're friend zoned.

Do you suppose for one minute that you actually posted somewhere other than a general forum with the sole intent of derailing a thread.

[SLIM]

Originally Posted by kelsokid18

Do you suppose for one minute that you actually posted somewhere other than a general forum with the sole intent of derailing a thread.

Yeah, you're just a dumbass.

[johnplywd]

fake, just act like you are going to throw a punch and watch flinch up and throw a real one while play the army ranger song

[Agent 008]

Fake or not, he sounds like a douche.

[Iehovah]

Doesn't becoming a Ranger require about two years worth of necessary training, including Basic, Advanced, and Airborne?

If so, that means all that "hardcore shit" he's been seeing is within the last year. which is kind of o rly, what HAVE we been doing in Iraq for the last year?

I smell bullshit.

[plehem12]

tell him "LOCK IT UP, ATTENTION! ABOUT FACE, FORWARD MARCH, DOUBLE-TIME MARCH!" and then shoot him in the back of his knees and then tell him to call in a 9 line medevac. thatd get 'em.

[Tevar]

He could have been in a Ranger Batt without being ranger qualified. But most likely he's just full of shit. Anyone who talks about seeing "hardcore shit" but won't expound or tell an actual story is full of shit. If it was that painful to relive he wouldn't have even told you he saw "hardcore shit" in the first place.

[elf omg]

Most of them are fake anyway. Not in that they didn't serve, but they make a big deal about it and do their best to use it to their advantage.

"I was totally in the Army for 4 years, it was hardcore and I served my country by having a tedious job. Also, I was in Iraq for a few months and saw someone get shot. Sex?"

[unstableasatable]

i read the title as 'phony vegetarian' and got very confused when i started reading

[Animal Farm Pig]

See if he can recite the Ranger creed. Start singing the Army song, and see if he can complete it. Ask his blood type.

If he were a Ranger, he would know the creed. If he served in the Army, he should know the stupid song. If he were in the military at all, he will know his blood type (it's on the dog tags.)

If he wasn't a Ranger and knows all those things, then he is a gigantic douche.

[plehem12]

Originally Posted by Animal Farm Pig

See if he can recite the Ranger creed. Start singing the Army song, and see if he can complete it. Ask his blood type.

If he were a Ranger, he would know the creed. If he served in the Army, he should know the stupid song. If he were in the military at all, he will know his blood type (it's on the dog tags.)

If he wasn't a Ranger and knows all those things, then he is a gigantic douche.

my blood type is A POS. the way i remember is because im a piece of shit

[xippilli]

Ask him what "his last four" are.

He should know exactly what the fuck you're talking about. If he doesnt, he's not military.

Simple.

[nuclearrabbit]

I qualified to wear just the R from a ranger tab. ... lols

I'll bet he's one of those guys that got kicked out during basic training.