I'm 18 and I have no feelings

[Iolite]

I'm not here to give life stories anymore.
Right now, my feelings feel like they're trapped underneath a thick layer of foam. Almost like ghosts trying to escape from a bottle, and although i have improved by a long shot----I still have the sensation of "waterfalling" thoughts.

I was incredibly depressed earlier this year, and put on lexapro 2.5 mg every day (I have a low tolerance for everything) and felt like I was going to physically explode every single day. My perception feels like it's missing something....something important, something important enough to intensify the outer edges of my perception.
I guess that whole search for a solid reality left me with this, a reality that everyone could agree with. A reality where everything I said sounded right.....
This entire wall of text was written with no feeling or emotion behind it, or at least it feels that way.
I'm sick of this monotonous life style of college, home, play with guns, read, bass, repeat, recycle.
I know I don't want to be one of the idiots that think you're a loser if you spend more than 2 hours inside your house, but I just feel like there's so much more out there that I already know about.

[Ioabs]

Sounds like you have a psychological problem that is undiagnosed and being treated under the general anxiety disorder catch-all. You should talk to a counsellor, and don't turn to drugs to liven your perception esp. cocaine which can make mental problems much worse esp. schizophrenia.

[Stock Market Anomalies]

its a lot of fun though

[Mirana]

I hope you already know anti-depressants purpose is to turn you into a apathetic zombie? they don't hand out happy pills.

But besides drugs, you just need to get inspired... so get on that.

[PuttinOnTheRitz]

pussy

[Syphilis]

Originally Posted by Ioabs

Sounds like you have a psychological problem that is undiagnosed and being treated under the general anxiety disorder catch-all.

No, people need to stop getting diagnosed with mental problems. It gives them a convenient excuse, and the medication is then a convenient excuse not to try to fix themselves by themselves.

and don't turn to drugs to liven your perception esp. cocaine which can make mental problems much worse esp. schizophrenia.

Yes. Alcohol, drugs (including weed), just make it worse. Get off the lexapro. If you can't fix yourself without the medication, you'll never get better.

[Dog]

Take some Ecstasy. I'm not joking either. You'll feel awesome for the entire night (or day, if you prefer) and it's not uncommon to have your outlook on life changed.

[Dark Feather]

Dont worry. Feelings at 18 are dangerous any way...
Happy fucking, without Feeling....

[IcarusTheFool]

Originally Posted by PizzaNazi

Take some Ecstasy. I'm not joking either. You'll feel awesome for the entire night (or day, if you prefer) and it's not uncommon to have your outlook on life changed.

And then you'll feel shitty for 3 days.

[Dog]

Originally Posted by IcarusTheFool

And then you'll feel shitty for 3 days.

That's not true. The "hangover" lasts for like 1 day, and it isn't a shitty feeling...just a bit strange.

[coolstorybro]

Congratulations, you may be sociopathic

[unstableasatable]

meet some new people. do new things, get out more, find a short term goal and acieve, head for a long time life goal (e.g. run a company)

just realy need to meet loadsa new people or take up a ew activiy, out of 100 people one should get 2 good friends. then do shit with them ... go on adventures and camp up a mountain or sum sit.

also lots exorcise

[Mirana]

Originally Posted by unstableasatable

meet some new people. do new things, get out more, find a short term goal and acieve, head for a long time life goal (e.g. run a company)

just realy need to meet loadsa new people or take up a ew activiy, out of 100 people one should get 2 good friends. then do shit with them ... go on adventures and camp up a mountain or sum sit.

also lots exorcise

Yeah this. Unless you've seen every person in your life die a horrible death you really shouldn't be at the state you convinced yourself you're in.

[The Jitterskull]

WARNING:

Just don't cold turkey your drugs, go off them slowly...
The medication is designed to keep you in your current state, it gets Big Pharma more money. You don't like being poisoned, do you?


Go eat healthy (I mean healthy, cut that sugar crap out), eat tons of veg's and meat. Exercise. I know its a downhill spiral, but if you're on medication your workload in life shouldn't be too hard.

[gizmo]

Originally Posted by Iolite

I know I don't want to be one of the idiots that think you're a loser if you spend more than 2 hours inside your house, but I just feel like there's so much more out there that I already know about.

If you think this, you really just don't know. There are an infinite amount of possibilities that could be done. It shows without speaking that it's what you make of those possibilities.

It's only human to feel worthless in a world so much bigger than you, and there's nothing you could really change about that besides keeping yourself preoccupied and trying out new things.

... Just saying. .

[Unnecessary~surgery]

try getting a gurl frewnd

[Jerry]

fuck that asian chick you wrote about and all this may change..........

[gizmo]

Originally Posted by Caoltan

fuck that asian chick you wrote about and all this may change..........

There's nothing wrong with Asian chicks...

[Axiom]

The fact you have to justify your dosage to perfect strangers such as us, suggests this depression (and subsequent struggle) is all you have. You're 18 and you have no feelings? then tell me Iolite, how exactly do you know you even felt depressed. Was it a strictly intellectual pursuit? Maybe you understood what it was to be indifferent and you didn't experience that, so by definition you must have be depressed?. I'm not so sure, but hear me out.

You use the adjective "incredibly" to describe this to us. "Incredibly" is an emotionally labored word to describe your situation of not having any feelings. Surely, you wouldn't be able to scope the dismay, such as having no emotional bearings on how you were feeling at the time of writing that. By your own language it is evident that you are more unaware of your emotions, than you are lacking in them. That's probably the something you feel is missing. "I'm sick of this monotonous life style of college, home, play with guns, read, bass, repeat, recycle." - There's more feeling in that single sentence than in most of the comments following it.

Now, on to Perception - Perception is key here. Perception infers lacking in emotion. Look it up.

All life is perceived and your experiences are as individualized as your DNA. The actual physics of one earth day and the molecular processes we go through in a 24hour period blows my mind. Consciousness is an incredible (there's that adjective again) trip. We all require powerful minds to perceive this reality and you, because of your current (highly charged) emotional state, am choosing to experience this illusion of reality withdrawn. I don't believe you're on a search for your emotions, you're on a search for who is having them and as a 18 year old, you might not figure that out for a long time. Now, that's always going to sound clique to a teenager, but it's what everyone goes through. You have to find what works for you.

But I don't fucking care if you do or don't, I have no emotions, you see...

[ants in my poptarts]

Originally Posted by Iolite

I'm not here to give life stories anymore.
Right now, my feelings feel like they're trapped underneath a thick layer of foam. Almost like ghosts trying to escape from a bottle, and although i have improved by a long shot----I still have the sensation of "waterfalling" thoughts.

I was incredibly depressed earlier this year, and put on lexapro 2.5 mg every day (I have a low tolerance for everything) and felt like I was going to physically explode every single day. My perception feels like it's missing something....something important, something important enough to intensify the outer edges of my perception.
I guess that whole search for a solid reality left me with this, a reality that everyone could agree with. A reality where everything I said sounded right.....
This entire wall of text was written with no feeling or emotion behind it, or at least it feels that way.
I'm sick of this monotonous life style of college, home, play with guns, read, bass, repeat, recycle.
I know I don't want to be one of the idiots that think you're a loser if you spend more than 2 hours inside your house, but I just feel like there's so much more out there that I already know about.

Try taking a lot of acid. My friend went through what you described. He took ten hits of acid while at his house, alone one night. I'm pretty sure he had a psychotic episode or something, because after that he acted like a schizo. He attempted suicide like 6 months later. So try taking a lot of acid and see if that helps.

[Iolite]

I forgot to mention, I stopped taking the lexapro like a month or two again cold turkey and had no side effects that i'm aware of.

I've already had my drug phase, and my drinking phase.
I don't like using psychedelics to cure these types of problems because last time I tried that, I used it wrong and my mind wandered off into useless philosophy that didn't change the way i felt at all when the trip was done.
I didn't feel depressed, but I sure was far from happy---I felt like there was chaos in my head. My psychologist suggested I just try out the lexapro for a while to get in a better state, then stop after 6 months.

[Jerry]

Originally Posted by gizmo

There's nothing wrong with Asian chicks...

I'm not saying there was

I'm encouraging him to fuck her.......

[borntobedead]

nobody has feelings anymore cause nobody really cares anymore i mean look at america u got cock suckers and monkeys your just pointing out the obiviouse genius ur not the only one

[borntobedead]

soz for double post but ill give u some advise that works smoke alot of weed its the natural way of making you more social go out smoke weed and stuff like i do go to the pool smoke weed and ull talk to everyone meybe its just cuz everybody knows me but stop being a loser and smoke weed you be cool then mmmkay

[Eridani]

Originally Posted by Syphilis

No, people need to stop getting diagnosed with mental problems.

Fucking this!

Originally Posted by borntobedead

soz for double post but ill give u some advise that works smoke alot of weed its the natural way of making you more social go out smoke weed and stuff like i do go to the pool smoke weed and ull talk to everyone meybe its just cuz everybody knows me but stop being a loser and smoke weed you be cool then mmmkay

You are joking right? Whenever I smoke I go extremely unsocial - find it really hard to talk to new people. When I was 17/18 out of school and just getting stoned constantly I almost never got laid because of low self confidence when I was high. I still smoke and love to get stoned I just prefer doing so on my own.

[borntobedead]

Originally Posted by Gith

Fucking this!



You are joking right? Whenever I smoke I go extremely unsocial - find it really hard to talk to new people. When I was 17/18 out of school and just getting stoned constantly I almost never got laid because of low self confidence when I was high. I still smoke and love to get stoned I just prefer doing so on my own.

usualy its the other way around but then i think ur at the last rescort and u should just kill ur self and do the world a favor if you feel like a loser then you are ....

[Xhunkfish]

Troll.

[slowdown]

Originally Posted by Iolite

I forgot to mention, I stopped taking the lexapro like a month or two again cold turkey and had no side effects that i'm aware of.

I've already had my drug phase, and my drinking phase.
I don't like using psychedelics to cure these types of problems because last time I tried that, I used it wrong and my mind wandered off into useless philosophy that didn't change the way i felt at all when the trip was done.
I didn't feel depressed, but I sure was far from happy---I felt like there was chaos in my head. My psychologist suggested I just try out the lexapro for a while to get in a better state, then stop after 6 months.

You are 18. At this point in a persons life there is many stresses as they enter and change into adulthood. The antidepressants are good if you are unable to function normally, but if you feel low and chaotic then you may want to first try to alter your diet some foods can increase that mental chatter and confusion (caffeine, sugar, preservatives and other artificial ingredients, and for some people wheat.)

Also try to meditate and find some hobby or something that helps you focus. Just taking drugs wont help you find the coping skills that will be necessary as you get older and just get into more chaotic opportunities.

Just think of life as a roller coaster. There are both ups and downs; Just try to enjoy the ride.

[mafiabro]

I was incredibly depressed earlier this year, and put on lexapro 2.5 mg every day

I stoped reading as soon as i got here. Grow the fuck up and quit bitching about your *mental condition* Your not depressed, your a pussy. I really hate it when doctors diagnose anyone with a problem with depression, its almost as annoying as when they give 1/3 kids ritalin for their *ADHD* Most kids are just hyper, only a small amount actually have ADHD
Your problems not depression, you just need to get out more and do stuff...with those things called friends,that is if they didn't all leave you for talking about things that happen to you in poem form.
Dr.M's suggestion? Do something with your life, instead of complaining about it and taking drugs to convince yourself you have a problem.

[Haiti's Space Agency]

You need to shit or get off the pot bro.

[PROJECT PAT]

/emo

[Joe Camel]

Originally Posted by IcarusTheFool

And then you'll feel shitty for 3 days.

Originally Posted by PizzaNazi

That's not true. The "hangover" lasts for like 1 day, and it isn't a shitty feeling...just a bit strange.

Depends on the bean, dumb asses.

[Manifesto]

Originally Posted by Iolite

I'm not here to give life stories anymore.
Right now, my feelings feel like they're trapped underneath a thick layer of foam. Almost like ghosts trying to escape from a bottle, and although i have improved by a long shot----I still have the sensation of "waterfalling" thoughts.

I was incredibly depressed earlier this year, and put on lexapro 2.5 mg every day (I have a low tolerance for everything) and felt like I was going to physically explode every single day. My perception feels like it's missing something....something important, something important enough to intensify the outer edges of my perception.
I guess that whole search for a solid reality left me with this, a reality that everyone could agree with. A reality where everything I said sounded right.....
This entire wall of text was written with no feeling or emotion behind it, or at least it feels that way.
I'm sick of this monotonous life style of college, home, play with guns, read, bass, repeat, recycle.
I know I don't want to be one of the idiots that think you're a loser if you spend more than 2 hours inside your house, but I just feel like there's so much more out there that I already know about.

Acid.

[Iolite]

Originally Posted by mafiabro

I stoped reading as soon as i got here. Grow the fuck up and quit bitching about your *mental condition* Your not depressed, your a pussy. I really hate it when doctors diagnose anyone with a problem with depression, its almost as annoying as when they give 1/3 kids ritalin for their *ADHD* Most kids are just hyper, only a small amount actually have ADHD
Your problems not depression, you just need to get out more and do stuff...with those things called friends,that is if they didn't all leave you for talking about things that happen to you in poem form.
Dr.M's suggestion? Do something with your life, instead of complaining about it and taking drugs to convince yourself you have a problem.

Typical black and white moron

[mafiabro]

Originally Posted by Iolite

Typical black and white moron

See, now i'm going to cut my self

[33% God]

Originally Posted by PizzaNazi

Take some Ecstasy. I'm not joking either. You'll feel awesome for the entire night (or day, if you prefer) and it's not uncommon to have your outlook on life changed.

Fuck do I want some ecstasy.

I'm not even depressed,I just want to try the shit.

[Chris]

i have called the waaahbulance they will be here soon with a cooler full of ice to sooth your butt hurt.

[constantinople]

Originally Posted by PizzaNazi

Take some Ecstasy. I'm not joking either. You'll feel awesome for the entire night (or day, if you prefer) and it's not uncommon to have your outlook on life changed.

X never changed my outlook on life, ever. You are a fucking idiot. A PARTY DRUG IS NOT SOMETHING YOU WANT TO USE FOR THERAPY ya fucking mug.

[gizmo]

Originally Posted by constantinople

X never changed my outlook on life, ever. You are a fucking idiot. A PARTY DRUG IS NOT SOMETHING YOU WANT TO USE FOR THERAPY ya fucking mug.

Actually ecstasy has been used in terms of therapy for married couples/families who needed to work out their issues and get everything out in the open.

If you're having boyfriend/girlfriend issues, both should pop pills and just talk it out.

[Anal Assassin]

opium.