I agree that you should not try to stretch the pre existing hole.
Go to a professional body piercing artist and get it repierced, but pierce it at a larger gauge than the standard 16g (or 20g if you get it done at a place like Walmart. Lol)
Wait for that to fully heal, it should be about 4-6 weeks if you got it pierced at say, an 8 gauge, and then stretch after that.
Standard rules of stretching apply of course.
Don't stretch too fast, more than 2mm at a time or with household objects.
If you're really serious about stretching your ears, ask your piercer about a dermal punch or pierce+taper procedure.
Good luck