Parents found out about everything, my epic fail, look inside :)

[Tamerlane]

Tl;dr - Was on the way to a birthday celebration, father called me and said I had left my Skype open and said that we would have a talk about *listed all drugs I have ever done or talked about on Skype*.
Going home today, maybe tomorrow.
What should I use as my arguments to soften the blow of him being a gayfag asshole?
Drugs in question, all used very sparsely - acid, weed and hash, mushrooms, and he also mentioned pills which I have never done.

I am thinking of using the argument that I believe that an individual is free to do whatever he likes, as long as he doesn't harm anyone else, a comparison of psychedelics and alcohol(mushrooms, acid - lying on the bed listening to Bach, Beethoven, other good music and lectures on Buddhism versus alcohol - jumping on embassy cars in the night, getting filmed by a camera and also caught, and having to pay ~$2000 fine[this happened to a few friends of mine]).Another one, which I could use if it starts getting heavy or if he tells me that I won't grow up a productive member of society or some other such bullshit like that, is to look at his life and the life of a friend of his - both productive members of society, but both very screwed up - his marriage is totally down the drain, his friend is having a mid-life crisis, signed over everything he had to his wife and told her he doesn't love her any more and loves a 20-year-old girl.
Also, I am not worried at all about what he will do to me - I will be fucked, no doubt, but I would really hate to see him ruin the lives of my friends. I have some dirt on him, so if worst comes to worst - blackmail, and I will try my hardest to ruin his life if he ruins the lives of my friends.
What do you guys think?

Some miscellaneous info - I am 16, if that impacts your reply in any way.

[Mankonaut X]

Maybe start by telling him to mind his own fucking business? God if I couldn't leave home without locking my computer I'd be furious.
EDIT: And if that's the level of supervision you're under being grounded won't feel very different at all.

[lolocaust]

Are your grades good? Lots of parents that I know don't care if their kids do drugs etc. as long as their grades are good and they're happy / motivated.

Bring up examples of scientists using drugs such as Richard Feynman and Watson & Crick (the latter is a fantastic example, they figured out the structure of DNA while on LSD).

If he does try to mess up your friends' lives, you're absolutely justified in fucking up his. He's not only hurting your friends, but hurting your relationship with them, and thus insulting you.

good luck

[Jerry]

I wouldn't bother even trying to defend yourself. Admit it was wrong whatever, be more careful from now on.

Don't blackmail, he'll just get really mad.

[Dionysus]

About a year ago my parents read a fucking insane email I wrote when I was piss drunk and on some kinda pills. Ironically they glossed over the depressed borderline suicidal vibe (not normally me, but the pill in question was bumming me out and it was a bad month) and went to me after some of the drug references in the email. Plus side is that I dont have to worry to much about drug shit anymore since they are resigned to the fact I am apparently a lazy junky, even if they assume its to a much larger degree than it actually is.

Moral of the story is to never remember passwords I suppose. If I were you I would just nod your head until hes done then try and not get caught again.

[Mr.Happy]

Originally Posted by Tamerlane

Another one, which I could use if it starts getting heavy or if he tells me that I won't grow up a productive member of society or some other such bullshit like that, is to look at his life and the life of a friend of his - both productive members of society, but both very screwed up - his marriage is totally down the drain, his friend is having a mid-life crisis, signed over everything he had to his wife and told her he doesn't love her any more and loves a 20-year-old girl.

"Oh yeah? Well, you totally fucked up your life! You got one shot and blew it, you limp-dicked, pug-ugly, soon-to-be divorcee! What's a tab of acid compared to that?"

[Tamerlane]

Originally Posted by Mr.Happy

"Oh yeah? Well, you totally fucked up your life! You got one shot and blew it, you limp-dicked, pug-ugly, soon-to-be divorcee! What's a tab of acid compared to that?"

Excellent.

For the others - it wasn't my computer per se, it was my mother's computer, but she never looks at my Skype... Not that I left it open intentionally, but I don't understand what he was doing on it if he has his own... Oh well, what is done is done.

[:MAD:ijuana]

My dad found all my stuff a few months ago but my dads pretty chill and he just said i cant smoke in the house anymore

[Dog]

Rofl. When I went off to college my dad sent me a letter casually asking me what drugs had I tried.

In any case, your dad most definitely tried some drugs in his youth, so he might just want to give you a talk about being safe and responsible, which you should pay attention to.

[Mr.Happy]

^ for the record, don't actually say that. If he's any kind of man, he'd beat your ass to the ground and throw you out on your ass. Bad outcome.

[TreyDay]

Show up on many drugs and visine. When you're done talking he wouldn't know if you're high ever after that. Unless he brings it up while you're talking. Then that would just be more to talk about.

[Tamerlane]

Nope, no drugs just lots of vodka for him, this is an ex-Soviet republic where we're from so back in his days there wasn't really any chance of anything more than drink.

And I won't say that, Mr. Happy, I realise quite well what would happen if I did say that.

[optl]

Originally Posted by Caoltan

I wouldn't bother even trying to defend yourself. Admit it was wrong whatever, be more careful from now on.

Don't blackmail, he'll just get really mad.

This. The elitist, I am too smart for stuff like alcohol approach only works with hippy parents - usually this approach will just get your ass beat.

[Bobweirsucks]

i say suck it up and not get caught again, unless your dad is gonna send you away, then you might want to try the other shit. but yeah, your 16, this is just the beginning.

[RH2002]

If he was going to listen to you try to defend yourself he would have never read your shit in the first place. Tell him he's right and you don't want to do drugs anymore and just don't get caught again

[Other Side of the Pillow]

Say that you only said it to look cool.

[vnorberto]

your dad must be a horrible parent and a fucking pussy.

[Midnight Sun]

Originally Posted by Caoltan

I wouldn't bother even trying to defend yourself. Admit it was wrong whatever, be more careful from now on.

Don't blackmail, he'll just get really mad.

lol this, when my dad found out he went ballistic and grounded me (as in, moved all my posessions out of the house) for over a year.

[Animal Farm Pig]

Don't try to deny it or go on the offensive. Be 100% truthful and take responsibility for you actions-- but don't accept undeserved blame or criticism. You cannot change the past, so adopt a forward looking attitude and try to negotiate some sort of agreement with your father. Go into the negotiations with a clear idea of both your optimal result and a compromise that you'd be willing to accept.

[-SpectraL]

"Listen up, Dad. You see... I have a big problem of fitting in with people online. They're all drug users and freaks, and I can never seem to get on the same page with them. I do want friends, but the only "friends" out there seem to be crack heads and pill-poppers (p.s. no pun intended, pill popper ), and I've been trying to fit in better by making up stories about all the drugs I really don't do... in reality, I mean. Ya. Reality. You see, Dad, I'm just lonely... and this is the only way I can get friends."

*Dad hugs child as a random tear runs down his softened cheek*

*child smiles during hug, but over dad's shoulder, where he can't see it*

[KeepOnTruckin]

agreed. Say its a ploy to meet some people and you don't actually do drugs. Or say you are working with the police on a sting

[Ouroboros]

Im sorry that your a 16 year old fag who got caught by .....fucking SKYPE

[HAS]

Deny everything. Tell him it's all related to gardening. You were growing mushrooms to sell at the farmer's market, but had some problems with the soil being too acidic and all the weeds.

[Silverfuck]

I don't know what type of parents yours are, but if they're anything like mine you can go in with the most reasonable, logical approach imaginable, and they still won't hear anything you're saying. They're not going to be thinking rationally; they're going to be thinking about their baby doing drugs, and chances are trying to reason with them is going to be entirely futile. Make it clear to them that you're using what you use responsibly and in moderation, and in full consciousness of the risks, but don't expect them to be swayed. Sometimes its best to pay lip service; tell them what they want to hear and be more careful in the future.

[-SpectraL]

Personally, I just held a gun to the heads of mine and demanded permission. They actually both took up hard liquor after that, and we'd just sit in the living room staring at each other... me, with my big fatty of bud in hand, and them with a drink clutched in their respective clenched fists like anchors.

I've not seen such blank looks to this very day.

[000]

This is very important: do you get good grades? Do you still do extracurriculars and lead an otherwise good life?

Think about how this looks to your parent(s). If recently your grades plummeted, you stopped talking to half your friends, stopped doing things you were always interested in, and started being snarky to your parent, they'll probably blame that on the drugs (whether they were actually the cause of them or not), and they'll be able to say something about why you shouldn't do them.

On the other hand, if you're still keeping your grades up and he honestly had no idea that you did this stuff before he found out in a fairly sneaky way, most reasonable parents will be mildly ok with it, or at least tell you to make sure they don't know about it. Just point out that you still do tons of other stuff, you're still as successful as you can be, and the drugs aren't a major part of your life, just a fun little addition, which they should be anyway.

[We Lost The Skyline]

Originally Posted by HAS

Deny everything. Tell him it's all related to gardening. You were growing mushrooms to sell at the farmer's market, but had some problems with the soil being too acidic and all the weeds.

Works all the time.

[Snoopy]

Originally Posted by -SpectraL

Personally, I just held a gun to the heads of mine and demanded permission. They actually both took up hard liquor after that, and we'd just sit in the living room staring at each other... me, with my big fatty of bud in hand, and them with a drink clutched in their respective clenched fists like anchors.

I've not seen such blank looks to this very day.

Shut up retard.

[000]

Originally Posted by -SpectraL

Personally, I just held a gun to the heads of mine and demanded permission. They actually both took up hard liquor after that, and we'd just sit in the living room staring at each other... me, with my big fatty of bud in hand, and them with a drink clutched in their respective clenched fists like anchors.

I've not seen such blank looks to this very day.

Everyone is bored of you; please leave

[DJ Meaty Cheeks]

Grab a carving knife from the kitchen and go for highscore!

[Snoopy]

Originally Posted by -SpectraL

No, I won't. Now kindly fuck off. Thanks.

[Mars]

Blackmail is a bad idea unless you have some real dirt on him...like prison dirt. Very few people would go to prison for the sake of having a go at their kid, but many would if they felt that they were protecting them (not including mine).


So I hope for your sake that your dad is a reasonable man/fraudster/foreign spy/murderer/rapist. Or you could try promising not to do any drugs ever again and then be more careful.

[Mashleshmash]

I would just defend your drug use and let him know you're not some worthless junkie. It may seem that he's not listening but it's anger in his way. Later on when he simmers down he'll reflect on things you've said. That, is how atleast my dad is.

I don't think my dad cares all that much. Hell I got caught high just the other day and my dad hasn't said anything about it to me. He can't really. He used to be an acid dealer. Seems a bit hypocritical if he were to try and tell me that drugs are bad. Not to mention he has smoked with both my brothers before.

Ofcourse, that's my dad for example.

[Trix Are For Kids]

Originally Posted by 000

snarky

Snarky?

Anyway, OP is screwed pretty much any way you look at it, so he might as well deny everything.

[Roooooooooooooooooooooot!]

Ask him if he wants to get high with you sometime.

[Mutant Funk Drink]

Just talk to him rationally. Maybe ask him if he's ever tried drugs in his youth.

[Young Meth]

your gay asian parents will probably rape you for this but it's no big deal. you'll be 18 in no time and you can start working for Best Buy.

[Syphilis]

Insulting daddy will only make him angrier.

Don't try to tell him that drug use is safer than alcohol. Lightweight stuff like weed may be a little healthier, but it's not actually healthy, and your father will remind you of that with groundings and rape.

[nutsack]

Who cares? Ask your dad if he wants to drop acid with you or at least smoke a joint. He's probably done at least one of those two before.

I remember when I was younger and my mum found some of my shit. She threw out a shitty homemade bong and some nice buds, and a bunch of leaf that I was making tiny batches of honey oil with. Fucking bitch Actually I think she found a lightbulb vape once, good thing she was smart enough to realize I was smoking oil out of it and not meth. When you get older they won't care so much (or they won't know) unless your life is made of failure

[Syphilis]

You should apologise to your dad by cooking him some nice brownies. Which are full of weed. DO IT.