The end of a 1.5 year relationship (probably)

[NamelessNom4d]

So I was going out with this girl since April 21 of my Junior year in high school... everything was awesome. Nothing really went wrong apart from the occasional argument, and then the time came for us to go off to college, and we were still together. We're going to different schools 3 hours away, and I refused to believe that spelled the end... but neither of our young college lives could take it. I began to freak out... I started acting weird. Changing... then things started to fall apart.

We drifted away from eachother from not seeing eachother for a few weeks at a time, both 18 year old college kids. It began to feel like we were caged, I didn't realize it, but she did, and we just broke up this morning. Now I'm all fucked up, I don't know what to do. I'm so afraid I'm going to lose her as a friend too... We grew together, changed together... I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for her, and she wouldn't be who she is today if it wasn't for me.

Fuck. I'm so confused right now... I forgot what it was like to be single. I know I'll deal with that... but what bugs me is that I thought we were in love. Can love just end like this? Is it really over? Does true love really even exist? I'm not sure about anything anymore. We talked about being together forever... the ironic thing is that she was the one who first brought that up, and the idea freaked me the fuck out at first. Then after a while, I warmed up to the idea, then I just accepted it. I threw away all the caution I had and just decided that we were never going to break up.

Soon after... shit happened. Did I do this? I might have... I just don't get it. I didn't think it was possible to just stop having feelings for someone after so long, after such an intense loving relationship. It just came to a very abrupt stop, probably catalyzed by the distance factor. I don't know what to do, I guess I just kind of had to rant.


Maybe people just aren't supposed to fall in love at such a young age, because it doesn't work.

Anyway, share similar stories, comfort me, flame me, fuck it.

[george]

You'll be all right.

There will be other girls, and you will lose them too.

[sevenTwo]

Remember this pain. Many of us feel that pain. Hell, I don't mean to be a jackass, you'll probably feel it a couple more times in your life too. I felt that pain last week too.
Don't blame yourself for the relationship not working though. Relationships involve two people. It's okay to be depressed right now, but try to keep yourself busy and move on with life. Life isn't always like a Disney movie unfortunately.

[Mor3BL7]

OP lost virginity to this girl.
Otherwise he wouldnt be talking about this "love" bullshit.

[calatron]

Love doesn't just end. You'll go on the rest(most) of your life with feelings for her. But you will get over her.

If it helps she was probably cheating on you. Seriously, girl at college, going to parties, getting drunk... She was bangin' other dudes.

[Kykeon]

Pretty much the same thing happened to me, Frankly, I've never felt the same way about any other girl so, yeah, I guess I was in love. However, the situation forced us apart. The best thing for you to do is to just focus on friendships and your schoolwork. Evenetually you'll get over her. Maybe in time you can start calling her again, just to be friends. This is, of course, assuming that you both still want to have each other in your lives.

Basically, you're going to half to suffer for awhile. You're going too get over it, although it might take awhile. After you feel good enough to hook up with another chick without feeling guilty then you should try and do it. It should make you feel better as long as it's a girl you like. And trust me, this last one might have seemed like you're one-and-only (fuck, my first girlfriend still seems that way to me... shit) there are still tons of cool girls who you're really going to like and might even fall in love with. Just try to stick in there and ride it out. You'll be okay eventually. I promise.

[psycho_8b]

It's part of life's rich pattern mate.

And always remember...Forever isn't as long as you think it is.

[PROJECT PAT]

Originally Posted by Slice_760

We grew together, changed together... I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for her, and she wouldn't be who she is today if it wasn't for me

fag

[Minotaur]

Originally Posted by PROJECT PAT

fag

I know it's hard for you to empathize. Try to imagine your cat decided to leave you, and then maybe you'll understand the emotions in play here.

[calatron]

Originally Posted by CableRock

I know it's hard for you to empathize. Try to imagine your cat decided to leave you, and then maybe you'll understand the emotions in play here.

I know it's hard for you to empathize. Try to imagine your cat decided to fuck someone else, and then maybe you'll understand the emotions in play here.

[whocares123]

heh yeah, college can change people. usually for the worse, i think. but i'm bitter and dead inside now.

i was with the girl i thought i'd be with for the rest of my life, though in the back of my mind i thought it was unfortunate that we had to meet when we were so young, because that just increased the chance that we would indeed break up at some point. survived senior year of high school, freshman year of college...it died sophomore year. she broke up with me, came out of nowhere, for no real identifiable reason. but i knew the reason. to be free. to be a college slut. if that to her is a priority, then not only was i heart broken, but i lost all respect for a person i thought was in complete sync with me.

lulz, then when things fell apart with the next girl a few months later i didn't even care. i can remember having a conversation with her, casually asking her as if we were discussing the weather or some shit "so you don't think it's going to work out huh? well ok. see ya i guess?" and her looking at me as if i were a heartless sociopath. fast forward a few more months to now, and i have no prospects on the horizon and honestly can say i don't feel lonely. the only desire that remains is sexual.

anyway point is you'll get over it, but you have to do it on your own.

[Agent 008]

Post nudes of her in this thread, it will help you get over her, guaranteed.

[Usama Bin Laden]

Now is your chance to get in some much-needed philandering! Go fuck some random broads and see how you feel then. If it's really worth the trouble of working things out you'll know.

[hooloovoo]

Originally Posted by calatron

I know it's hard for you to empathize. Try to imagine your cat decided to fuck someone else, and then maybe you'll understand the emotions in play here.

This is not the way. You modify inside the quote, and add "Fix'd" below.


Back to the OP:

I went through very similar emotions after a very intensive relationship I was in ended- right before I turned 19. I'd had a 2 year relationship prior to that which was more typical of the dynamics of high school relationships, but this was the one that had such a deep connection and broke my heart for years after.

Probably not uncommon, although no less unfortunate. To try and keep from letting the loss overwhelm you, it's probably best not to try too hard to stay friends. Not to say you need to burn all bridges, but some distance for awhile will help you both recover. My ex didn't talk to me for a whole year after I got another boyfriend after the breakup. It hurt, but I realize now that it was just too painful for him and it was probably for the best. He got time to grow up and find himself, and by being distanced from our past I was slowly able to become detached enough from the relationship to learn from the mistakes I'd made.


A year later I came across a "rant" he'd left on craigslist- basically lamenting the breakup, and the fact that he still had regrets after all this time. Made me cry all over again. A journal entry I wrote in response reads almost the same as your first post- I'd put it here, but I doubt it means much to anyone but myself.

Anyway, the only advice I can give you for sure is that while you're still hurting do all that you can to avoid going through old photographs, IM conversations, letters, ect. It will make things a hundred times worse. I'm not saying you have to delete them- they might mean something to you a few years down the line- but put them on a back up drive or disc where you won't be tempted to browse through them anytime your thoughts get the best of you.

[NamelessNom4d]

Originally Posted by hooloovoo

This is not the way. You modify inside the quote, and add "Fix'd" below.

lol this, but I still lol'd.

Originally Posted by Mor3BL7

OP lost virginity to this girl.
Otherwise he wouldnt be talking about this "love" bullshit.

Yeah we lost our virginities to eachother.

Originally Posted by George Whitfield Fitting

Pretty much the same thing happened to me, Frankly, I've never felt the same way about any other girl so, yeah, I guess I was in love. However, the situation forced us apart. The best thing for you to do is to just focus on friendships and your schoolwork. Evenetually you'll get over her. Maybe in time you can start calling her again, just to be friends. This is, of course, assuming that you both still want to have each other in your lives.

Basically, you're going to half to suffer for awhile. You're going too get over it, although it might take awhile. After you feel good enough to hook up with another chick without feeling guilty then you should try and do it. It should make you feel better as long as it's a girl you like. And trust me, this last one might have seemed like you're one-and-only (fuck, my first girlfriend still seems that way to me... shit) there are still tons of cool girls who you're really going to like and might even fall in love with. Just try to stick in there and ride it out. You'll be okay eventually. I promise.

See, we were kind of a weird couple. I think this is why we lasted so long. She was kind of an ugly duckling, and was "that weird girl" back in middle school. I never wanted to associate with her in any way until my Junior year... when she suddenly became hot. So now there was this hot girl who was awkward and intelligent and did not have many friends. Something about her drew me toward her, even though I had this image in the back of my head of her back in middle school which I kinda just lol at now.

Anyway, I started talking to her more, just because she was interesting. I was kind of in a state of disillusionment with girls at the time so I had no intention of getting in a relationship, I just wanted to be friends... then the more I got to know her the more I realized she would be a great candidate for potential sex. lol.

So... We kinda just flirted on and off a bit, and then my friend told me she told him that she liked me, and I was pretty much like "ohhhh right " and asked her for her number. Then later we got into a discussion about sex... she sent me pics of her tits... THEN I asked her out LOL. Until about a month into the relationship I had no intention of getting anything but sex out of it, but it turned out she was WAY more than that. Every single other girl I've met has paled in comparison to her. Girls very rarely are sexy and intelligent AND loyal. Because she had barely any friends I pretty much became her best friend... she didn't hang out with anyone else really.

That's why it's weird. We can't just NOT be together anymore because we became such good friends... there were multiple layers to our relationship. It was also weird because for the longest time she was just super clingy, and that kinda bugged me, it even freaked me out a little. After we made it through a year I was completely used to it. She was just always there. Then one day we had this really hopelessly romantic conversation and that was it for me. At that point I completely threw away all my caution that she might break up with me one day and I just said fuck it.

Then we got to college, we both went through a series of emotionally confusing moments and talked about our futures and shit, and I decided to commit myself to everything she wanted me to be. This is what I think fucked it up. She was so used to being isolated, me being the only major person in her life, and then she started meeting people at college with a fresh slate. Now she has tons of friends, which is completely new to her since mostly everyone at my high school had this old image of her being weird... you know how that works in high school.

So yeah... now our roles got flip flopped. She suddenly got freaked out by the same ideas that were making me bug out the summer before college, and I was okay with it. Once that happened our relationship started to fall apart, and it kinda just came out of nowhere this morning that she wanted to just be friends. Now of course we all hate that... the "just be friends" thing, but she literally has become one of my best friends, as well as a girlfriend. We both love eachother still... just differently.

It's really unfortunate that we had to meet so early in life. If we were more ready to settle down she would be perfect, but we both want to meet other people and have other experiences. I'm just gonna ride fate now and see what happens. If after college we still hang out, it might get serious again, I have no idea. Right now it's just me hoping. At the same time though I might meet someone more awesome I guess... even though the idea sounds absurd.

I was afraid this was going to end violently... but it actually feels right, like this was supposed to happen, and that's what kinda bothers me. It's almost a mutual thing, even though I didn't want this to happen. I'm not going to fight it. I can do whatever the fuck I want now, I can branch out, meet new people and do dumb shit without worrying about what she thinks.

hah... whoever read this whole thing must be really bored, because I just needed to rant. That's basically the summary of our relationship though. And I KNOW she's never cheated on me. She doesn't drink or smoke weed or do anything, it's just now the social interaction that's gotten to her.

/rant

[Vizier]

College is just the beginning. Prepare yourself for the best years of your life

You'll move on, do not worry

[NamelessNom4d]

Originally Posted by Grand Vizier

College is just the beginning. Prepare yourself for the best years of your life

You'll move on, do not worry

That's what people keep saying, so I'm waiting for it. Like I said, I'm just going with shit now, fuck it.

[Femme Fatale]

After my own breakup, I just came to terms with it, filled my consumed conscious with negative things about her, why I shouldn't love her like that anymore, and that really helped, just use your best propaganda to convince yourself you're better off, set sights on the interesting future ahead, and get your kicks.

[Mikehunt1]

I don't think you can be friends, atleast not for awhile. The whole jealousy shit will really hurt, especially in the state you're in right now. Best thing to do is just forget about her for now, worry about school and getting her off your mind. Can you be friends in the future? Possibly, but by that time you won't care about her like that, you won't give a shit if she is with some other dude..your feelings for her will be dull..and you too will probably have other things going on..best of luck man, been there, done it.

[not me]

Cry on her friends' shoulders. Fuck her friends if you can. Trust me. You will feel better.

[Mikehunt1]

Originally Posted by zoloff

Cry on her friends' shoulders. Fuck her friends if you can. Trust me. You will feel better.

She has/had no friends according to the op

[hotbod]

if you let her live you are a failure.

[NamelessNom4d]

I'm so depressed. I don't know how I'm gonna deal with this. She's been so important in my life for so long and now I don't know what to do. I feel cold and lonely, I want to talk to her so bad but she needs to be left alone.

I don't know what to do guys I feel like I want to drink myself to death. I haven't eaten anything since Sunday and I'm still not hungry.

[Agent 008]

Originally Posted by Slice_760

I'm so depressed. I don't know how I'm gonna deal with this. She's been so important in my life for so long and now I don't know what to do. I feel cold and lonely, I want to talk to her so bad but she needs to be left alone.

I don't know what to do guys I feel like I want to drink myself to death. I haven't eaten anything since Sunday and I'm still not hungry.

Sounds like life to me it ain’t no fantasy, it’s just a common case of everyday reality.

Man I know it’s tough but you gotta suck it up.

To hear you talk you’re caught up in some tragedy.

It sounds like life to me

[NamelessNom4d]

Life sucks. Why can things that bring you so much joy bring you so much pain?

[Caramello Koala]

life experience is all about contrast, you have to experience the ups and the downs. this is never going to change, and it's not such a bad thing.

[313]

dude...you got boned by dat bitch.

[Femme Fatale]

Originally Posted by Slice_760

Life sucks. Why can things that bring you so much joy bring you so much pain?

Love is a vulnerability, you are putting yourself out there to be loved, but you cant get your hips across the room without moving your legs too right.

[DJ Meaty Cheeks]

You're only in college, high school relationships never last anyway.

Go out, get drunk, smoke some chronic and be glad you don't have to deal with her anymore.

[NamelessNom4d]

Originally Posted by SHODAN

Post nudes of her in this thread, it will help you get over her, guaranteed.

Only if she did something to really piss me off.

Originally Posted by Mikehunt1

She has/had no friends according to the op

She has friends now, at her college. That's part of the reason why things changed.

We're actually cool now. I talked to her a bunch last night, and I'm beginning to come to terms with it. The underlying reason why we broke up is because it's basically impossible to make this relationship work and still be happy at college. College is the time to branch out, meet new people, and try new things, not tie yourself down to one person. We're gonna see what happens in the long run... we both feel like there is something really special between us, but now is not the right time to act on it.

Also, she really doesn't have anyone to hang out with back home... so when summer comes, who knows what will happen? I'm keeping my hopes up, but I'm going to have to push that to the back of my mind for now and just enjoy the college adventure! I hope she enjoys herself in college as well.

[colonialpie]

I'm in pretty much the same relationship as you OP. But we don't see each other as often as you did because we're about a 13 hour drive away from each other. You said that college changed you two. I think it's changed my gf and I too, but for the better. I've only come to love her more since we went to school. If I was in your situation I'd get extremely depressed and drink myself into a coma.

[HTS]

Sucks man. I was in a similar boat 'til recently.

Nothing anyone can say is going to make you feel better. Nothing. At all. It's rough bro. You'll work it out one way or another. You're in college anyway man, you've got a lot of time to get on with life, find someone else, and start over.

Falling in love when you're young is only natural. I was... am... so fucking in love man. Sometimes you just can't win though. I'm not over my ex yet, but you know... it sucks less now and it's only been a month or two or three...

All I'm saying is you'll be fine dude. Everyone goes through it apparently. And it sucks. It ain't going to change, but for the record I hope you'll handle it better than I did. It's going to take a lot of work to get passed all the memories you had together, and thinking back'll make you cringe because you'll know you lost everything you had...

*sigh*

Get better anyway.

EDIT: You nigger, you're cool with eachother now. Well fuck.

[NamelessNom4d]

Originally Posted by colonialpie

I'm in pretty much the same relationship as you OP. But we don't see each other as often as you did because we're about a 13 hour drive away from each other. You said that college changed you two. I think it's changed my gf and I too, but for the better. I've only come to love her more since we went to school. If I was in your situation I'd get extremely depressed and drink myself into a coma.

I hope everything works out between you two. Don't let yourself go crazy... that's what happened to me. I couldn't stand not seeing her more often than I did and I just started freaking out... my own thoughts just got to me.

Originally Posted by HTS

EDIT: You nigger, you're cool with eachother now. Well fuck.

Well, it's only been three days. I was desperate to make it work so I didn't lose her completely, so I'm gonna see if this stabilizes. There's no way we're gonna be the same though, we might not even ever get back into a relationship. It's really hard to tell. We're hanging out on Thanksgiving and we're gonna see how that feels. I want the spark to come back between us... but if it does, I don't know what we'll do. I don't think it's really possible to make this work with the circumstances we're in now.

We would work wonderfully together in a few years when neither of us wants to party anymore, but that's in a FEW YEARS. I hate how shit works out sometimes...

[Lman1578]

Originally Posted by Mor3BL7

OP lost virginity to this girl.
Otherwise he wouldnt be talking about this "love" bullshit.

I couldnt care less about the chick i lost my virginity to. I dont now and i didnt then.

[Lman1578]

Dont worry OP, these things happen. I think me and my gf are breaking up, things just dont feel right. When were together its fantastic, but i only get to see her once a week, and its not enough. It obviously makes me feel like crap when i think about it. But you have to rise above it, and be a man about it. Not a little boy. Its part of maturing my man. Dont worry i know how it feels though, and its hard taking my own advice.

To be totally honest, the best way getting over her is just going out and meeting new people. Meet girls and dont compare them with your ex.

[NamelessNom4d]

I think one of the things I'm going to really miss is the sex though... I mean, even if we're just gonna be friends, we can still have fun and all kinds of stuff, but the sex was wonderful with her. I always felt such a connection with her and she was always so open... sex was just so much FUN! We didn't even always have to have sex, sometimes we would have a great time just being naked, playing around with each other... stuff like that. We had a naked tickle fight once which was epic...

I'm gonna miss that a lot. I can have sex with random college girls, but the connection just isn't gonna be there. I don't know if we'll ever have as much sexual fun again as we used to... but you never know... we might get back together one day after we both have more experience and just go completely insane.

I really hate how everything is just so up in the air right now... uncertain.

[hotbod]

i lost my virginity to my first milf

[Captain Politik]

you can sleep comfortably knowing she is being fucked at this very moment in college ( I guarantee you)

[NamelessNom4d]

Bump. So she sent me an almost desperate sounding Facebook email last night... Basically she's been sick the last few days and therefore has been trying to rest a lot, and she's had a lot of time to just lay in bed and think. She remembers all the good times we had together and can't bring herself to put those thoughts and memories away... she said a lot of stuff in the message that I can't really remember since I'm really tired right now... but she's feeling really confused, sad, and lonely.

Things just get more and more complicated... we've been talking and both realize it's pretty much impossible to be together at the moment. I guess I'm not really asking for advice anymore so much as just ranting because I have no idea what's going to happen. Anyway this isn't just a regular breakup because it feels like she wants to run back to me crying, but can't. We're hanging out as friends over Thanksgiving... I really have no idea what's going to happen then. I don't even know what to hope for... because if we want to get back together we CAN'T and SHOULDN'T.

I actually don't even know how she feels now since we've been talking, but that email was an interesting surprise.

Fuck my life... I intend to smoke an ungodly amount of weed tomorrow with some friends back home and think this over.

[( o Y o )]

Originally Posted by Slice_760

I'm so depressed. I don't know how I'm gonna deal with this. She's been so important in my life for so long and now I don't know what to do. I feel cold and lonely, I want to talk to her so bad but she needs to be left alone.

I don't know what to do guys I feel like I want to drink myself to death. I haven't eaten anything since Sunday and I'm still not hungry.

dont despair man, i had a break up of a 1.5 year relationship and it was WAY more fucked up than yours, and im already starting to get over it. youll feel much better... its hard when your life is based on your mutual happiness with someone else then it gets fucked... you're mind is like WTF! We can get addicted to intimacy. We go through withdrawl symtoms.

The key is to appreciate the little things. Eating, breathing, sleeping (my favorite), existing, the fact that you have a nice cozy house and bed to lay in. your clothes that many people dont have. One needs to be self sufficient you know? Create your own happiness. Goodluck, i can empathize, feel better man.