I think im going to starve

[hotbod]

Ok my mom is leaving on vacation for 2 weeks and i cant cook!!!
She does all the cooking. the only thing i know how to make is a PHONE CALL. get it a phone call?

anyways my mom is gonna leave some money but not enough to get take out everyday....

Anyone have some good recipies? I dont want to get skinny again!!!plz help

EDI: and i want something filling and healthy

[Tigger Nits]

I'll be keeping an eye on this tread. I need help too lol

[Paco]

Ramen Noodles and Speghetti O's mother fucker

Also, lern2cook, is it really that hard to boil up some god damn speghetti and warm up some sauce?

[T.K. Baha]

Pizza rolls are hard to fuck up.

[hotbod]

Originally Posted by Paco

Ramen Noodles and Speghetti O's mother fucker

Also, lern2cook, is it really that hard to boil up some god damn speghetti and warm up some sauce?

heat up sauce? my mom makes her own sause...by the way anyone have a recipie for a nice bolognese sauce?

[hotbod]

and i want something filling and healthy

[Loophole]

Blow all the money on cocaine, you wont need food.

[hotbod]

Originally Posted by Diet Orange Flavored Soda

Blow all the money on cocaine, you wont need food.

lol after 2 days than what?

[im taller than you]

Originally Posted by hotbod

lol after 2 days than what?

Then you get your hustle on.

[hotbod]

Originally Posted by im taller than you

Then you get your hustle on.

im a pussy though, id be to skurred

[Mor3BL7]

how much is she leaving you for food?

Just eat making chicken soup, and crushing a whole sleeve of crackers in it will fill you up for a meal.
Also, Spaghettios' left overs etc

Get pizza pockets

Use microwave to your advantage.
Btw: what kind of mother leaves her 11 year old son home alone for 2 weeks?

[Dose Me]

This is a test for you. If you starve the entire two weeks you deserve it.

Every human being should be able to feed him/her self (exception of babies). If not you might as well just shrivel up and die now because when shit hits the fan you're gonna be one of the first people with their backs against the wall.

[888]

Mr.Noodles, Kraft Dinner, Pizza Pops, French Fries, Frozen Pizza, Pogos....Make a damn Sandwich if you have bread than you have a meal.

[BukkakeTsunami]

Stab the living shit out of your mother...make sure she's dead.

Dispose of/destroy the body and take all of her money...claim she never came back from vacation.

[not me]

Originally Posted by hotbod

heat up sauce? my mom makes her own sause...by the way anyone have a recipie for a nice bolognese sauce?

You can't even make spagetti and you want to make that ? HAHA OK, take one pound of balogna and cover it with water in a pan. Heat the water to a boil. Let it boil for 2 minutes. Then add 1 cup on mayonaisse. Stir it well. Then add 1/2 cup of ketchup and some chopped garlic. Voila ! Bolognese sauce !

[hotbod]

Originally Posted by Cyssero

Btw: what kind of mother leaves her 11 year old son home alone for 2 weeks?

im in between 18 and 22

Originally Posted by Dose Me

This is a test for you. If you starve the entire two weeks you deserve it.

Every human being should be able to feed him/her self (exception of babies). If not you might as well just shrivel up and die now because when shit hits the fan you're gonna be one of the first people with their backs against the wall.

i plan on being a lawyer thereforewhen i am done school and have my job i will eat out at top notch restaurants all the time, if im lazy i will call for pizza.

Originally Posted by spider

You can't even make spagetti and you want to make that ? HAHA OK, take one pound of balogna and cover it with water in a pan. Heat the water to a boil. Let it boil for 2 minutes. Then add 1 cup on mayonaisse. Stir it well. Then add 1/2 cup of ketchup and some chopped garlic. Voila ! Bolognese sauce !

i know how to boil noodles

[kayx]

Pork or chicken + shake 'n bake + frozen veggie = easy good meal.

[Mashleshmash]

It's a DAY after thanksgiving and you're telling me you don't have left overs? Explain. All the thanksgiving leftovers in my fridge could easily last me two weeks.

[Sir Cornwell]

Do you know that you can buy pre-made sauce in jars/cans at stores?

Though I like to fry up some ground meat and veggies before I put the sauce into the pan. You should get a computer. You could look up simple recipes for anything!

If you're the Mean Macho Lawyer type, diamond pinkie rings and cash in every pocket? Never has to do nothing low. How come you got no girl to serve your needs?

Too busy living the fantasy and bleeding out your ass?

ps Surely your mother has left some food in the house. I know that she is only a lowly woman, but has she made no suggestions for your meals? Left no frozen stuff to reheat? No ingredients to work with?

[hotbod]

Originally Posted by MashleHash

It's a DAY after thanksgiving and you're telling me you don't have left overs? Explain. All the thanksgiving leftovers in my fridge could easily last me two weeks.

im canadian. look at my location dumb fuck

Originally Posted by Sir Cornwell

Do you know that you can buy pre-made sauce in jars/cans at stores?

Though I like to fry up some ground meat and veggies before I put the sauce into the pan. You should get a computer. You could look up simple recipes for anything!

If you're the Mean Macho Lawyer type, diamond pinkie rings and cash in every pocket? Never has to do nothing low. How come you got no girl to serve your needs?

Too busy living the fantasy and bleeding out your ass?

im school jeez wiz. and it takes about 6 years to complete school to become a lawyer where i am

[Sir Cornwell]

I knows that dude. Check my edit, but you've got the 'tude going.

Ask her for advice or is she just the silent slave to your needs? If so: tell her she may not go but must stay and serve!

[hotbod]

Originally Posted by Sir Cornwell

I knows that dude. Check my edit, but you've got the 'tude going.

Ask her for advice or is she just the silent slave to your needs? If so: tell her she may not go but must stay and serve!

yah i sure hate asking the slave for advise

[Sir Cornwell]

Have you inventoried what's already in the house? Fridge/freezer/cupboards?

Do you have store flyers: check for sales/meal ideas.

[Mashleshmash]

Originally Posted by hotbod

im canadian. look at my location dumb fuck

Excuse me for not noticing, asshole. I don't think you have room to call anyone a dumb fuck if you have to ask Zoklet for help on this matter. It's not too fucking hard to not starve.

[Issue313]

If you have access to a decent oven you can do everything in there. Oven food is easy and cheap and tasty. Oven chips (french fries) and pizza is a good meal, also breaded fish fillets, burgers, veggie burgers, veggie sausages, stuff like that. Ovens are great, you just load your food, leave it on max for about half an hour, and your food is done. If you're really nifty you can even heat canned beans in the oven, just open the can and pop it in 5 minutes before the food is cooked.

Don't forget, due to your budget constraints its not only a question of what to cook, but where to buy your food. A trip to a low cost supermarket to stock your freezer and fridge with low cost non-perishable items is in order.

[Mashleshmash]

Originally Posted by Issue313

Don't forget, due to your budget constraints its not only a question of what to cook, but where to buy your food. A trip to a low cost supermarket to stock your freezer and fridge with low cost non-perishable items is in order.

He should just go run out to a Dollar Store and stock up there.

[Dionysus]

Find an easy recipie for stirfry. Easy, healthy, filling, cheap and could feed you for a week if you make it in bulk.

[LiquidIce]

Originally Posted by Dose Me

This is a test for you. If you starve the entire two weeks you deserve it.

Every human being should be able to feed him/her self (exception of babies). If not you might as well just shrivel up and die now because when shit hits the fan you're gonna be one of the first people with their backs against the wall.

Man, this is natural selection at it's best, a guy living in a 1st country is worried he'll starve. Also, I believe he's atrollin' us all, making threads stupider than the quota predicts, therfor either infract or ban him. People unable to warm up some noodles+ with sauce should be killed on the spot.

[FireStarter]

Just buy frozen meals/ pizzas/ foods at the grocery store and follow the instructions on the box. There is no way to go wrong unless you are so retarded that you're drooling into a cup.

[Dread_Lord]

Buy lots of ramens, squeeze cheese, and mac n cheese.

[Mantikore]

everyone knows how to cook. even you.

its all a matter of confidence.

i think pasta is the great learner's dish. just boil up some dried pasta according to the instructions on the packet, then throw on some sauce you get from a jar, then top with some cheese. it wont taste as good as a homemade sauce, but it works and very hard to get wrong.

[Jitsu6500]

Put your dick in the microwave then put it in a bun. Tastes like hotdog.

[Insomaniacal]

Canned Food, Ramen, and boiling water are all your friends. It's all really cheap, tastes good, and will last you indefinitely. I'm guessing she left you at least $100, in which case, you should be all set

[ObsidianZ]

Sounds like you're going to get a crash course in cooking. You will fuck up and you'll be left eating the mess you concocted, that's a given. Hopefully you'll learn something for the next time.

*ObZ

[i poop in your cereal]

TV dinners are cheap as hell, and they taste awesome.

[i poop in your cereal]

But seriously, how fucking hard can it be to cook some pasta and fry some eggs? Are you retarded?

[Loophole]

Buy a 5 lb bag of rice, a bag of frozen corn, some onions, and some cheap meat. Cook it all (even a retard such as yourself can do it), mix it all together, ration it over the two weeks.

[BastardLunatic]

Originally Posted by hotbod

heat up sauce? my mom makes her own sauce...by the way anyone have a recipe for a nice bolognese sauce?

Get some minced meat. I prefer mixed pork and veal.
Chop an onion and few cloves of garlic and a carrot.
Preheat deeper pan with some oil (any will do).
Toss onions, stir and watch it. Before it starts getting color add following.
Toss the meat in and stir it around so there are no lumps, just small "crumbs".
Toss garlic and carrot in. I add smoked paprika (Bit of hot, bit of regular).
Then some salt, pepper, vege spice, etc.
Let it cook for some time, you cant go wrong with this.
Just stir so it doesn't burn on the bottom and don't do it on max all the way, after meat is in medium is just fine.
When your spaghetti* (or whatever) is out of the water, put it in cullender and let it dry off.
Take some tomato juice or sauce, whatever you prefer and toss in with the meat and the rest. I do about 500ml and let it cook for another 5 minutes.
Now I said deeper pan, because you throw spaghetti in there with the rest and add a palm full or two of parmesan. Stir well, remove from fire and enjoy getting fatter.

*Boil water, put a lot of salt in it and a spoon or two of oil beforehand.
When it boils, add the spaghetti and let it cook for about 8 minutes (depends on the thickness of the spaghetti) with occasional stir.



Also easy shit - Take a bowl, put whatever you got in it like: flour, sesame seeds, bread crumbs, any spices you like and mix together.
Take some chicken (whatever you like breasts, legs, anything, boneless or not, up to you) dip in some milk in the bowl, toss around to coat well, put it in the baking pan and bake at 380-400f for about an hour, hour and some (15-20 minutes).

Easy rice to go with above - 2 big cups of water. Spoon of oil, some salt, pepper, a garlic clove or two finely chopped, some vege spice. Let it boil.
Before it does, add 1 small cup of rice, stir a few times here and there.
Let the water evaporate and munch with chicken.

[Generic Box Of Cookies]

Cheap stuff that is easy and nutritious:

• Refried Beans::Combine with anything in a skillet. Put in tortilla. Eat.
• Pasta:remade sauce in a jar + pasta = 30 minutes of work for 2 days worth of meals.
• Potatoes::Very cheap. But kind of bland unless you put in some work.
• Eggs::Very easy to prepare an omlette or breakfast burrito mix.
• Avocado::Nutritious and easy. Goes good with all of the above.
• Bratwurst::Throw in skillet for 15 minutes, add cheese, bun, condiments, and consume.
• Peanut Butter Sammich::If you can't make this, you're fucking doomed.

Pretty much any of these things you can make with just a skillet and/or a pot of boiling water and a half hour of time. Don't forget to use cooking oil and spices.

[not me]

Originally Posted by Dread_Lord

Buy lots of ramens, squeeze cheese, mac n cheese, and fromunda cheese.

fixxed