Hiring a maid so I can bang her?

[Idiot]

Well actually I already hired her, except I didn't bang her yet.

Long version: I always thought it would be hot to have sex with someone that worked for you, and one day I couldn't take it any longer so I took out the phonebook. Needless to say, the first few people I interviewed sucked because they just assumed they could send anyone out to my apartment and hope they don't rob me, and the few girls that I did get to meet in person were NOT anyone I would bang. One was even a guy. Who the fuck does housekeeping and your a guy

Anyways, long story short, I was able to get a cute latina maid. She is a year older than me(21), and she wears tight sweat clothes all the time, and shows a good amount of skin. We get along alright and sometimes talk for quite awhile after she is supposed to leave, like 10-15 minutes. I know she is single, and she is very flirtatious and purposely keeps cleaning all over top of me and leaning on me and over me and shit like that. However, I'm getting tired of fucking up my apartment every other day just so I can pay her to come over and not fuck me.

How do I go about sealing the deal?

[Syphilis]

Invite her to have a drink with you when she's finished?

[a334jv2df]

You don't because she's not interested

[mcdonalds]

Make sure your intentions are clear. Offer her a drink.

[stateofhack]

Whore her out to some asians.

[Idiot]

Yeah I didn't want to ask her out for a drink because that would bring me down to her level. I kind of wanted to stay at "boss" status to keep the sex hot. I want the whole thing to seem spontaneous.

It's not the same if I went out with her and then bought her back to where she works and fuck her.

Any other ideas?

Oh and I don't ever tip her, her pay is the same no matter what my apartment looks like. So I don't think she is fucking around with me to get more money, but then again all women always try

[Nerd Fangs]

lol, prepare to get sued foir a substantial amount of money.

[Kinkou]

don't ask her OUT for a drink. make yourself one in front of her and ask her if she wants one.

[a334jv2df]

Originally Posted by Idiot

Yeah I didn't want to ask her out for a drink because that would bring me down to her level. I kind of wanted to stay at "boss" status to keep the sex hot.

In that case you should fire the maid and hire a hooker instead.

[Tigger Nits]

Originally Posted by Kinkou

don't ask her OUT for a drink. make yourself one in front of her and ask her if she wants one.

This. And make sure you post pics

[Mordisk]

Originally Posted by Syphilis

Invite her to have a drink with you when she's finished?

Seems like a good idea.

[Agent 008]

Subtly bring into the conversation that you can potentially get her a green card.

Or, just mimic one of those "maid" pornos. Start touching her while she is cleaning, if she doesn't resist take it further. Also, download some cheesy music and set it to start playing once you start touching her.

Also, keep in mind - unless she says "No" in a way that sounds like she's about to call the cops, it'll probably be "No, no... no....... noooooooo............ noooooooooooooooooooooo................... oh god please don't stop....... yessssss!"

Also, set up a video camera to record the whole thing. She is more likely to go for it if you do that, true story. How often do you see a video of a guy attempting to fuck his maid, with her flat-out rejecting him? Not very often. So if you set up a camera, it is statistically unlikely that she'll reject you. Try it and see for yourself.

[Nerd Fangs]

This is essentially prostitution. Just hire a prostitute.

[ChinaCat]

Originally Posted by Kinkou

don't ask her OUT for a drink. make yourself one in front of her and ask her if she wants one.

this.

[ChinaCat]

Originally Posted by ZeppelinRules

This is essentially prostitution. Just hire a prostitute.

But he doesnt want a prostitute, he wants to hire and maid and then fuck her.

[Zip]

Why not a babysitter?

http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/the_babysitter/

[vnorberto]

Originally Posted by ZeppelinRules

This is essentially prostitution. Just hire a prostitute.

as mentioned in op, hes doing it partially for the psychogical effect of fucking the "maid"

[never]

God, your username makes this thread hilarious.

[Chavinist]

Originally Posted by Idiot

Well actually I already hired her, except I didn't bang her yet.

Long version: I always thought it would be hot to have sex with someone that worked for you, and one day I couldn't take it any longer so I took out the phonebook. Needless to say, the first few people I interviewed sucked because they just assumed they could send anyone out to my apartment and hope they don't rob me, and the few girls that I did get to meet in person were NOT anyone I would bang. One was even a guy. Who the fuck does housekeeping and your a guy

Anyways, long story short, I was able to get a cute latina maid. She is a year older than me(21), and she wears tight sweat clothes all the time, and shows a good amount of skin. We get along alright and sometimes talk for quite awhile after she is supposed to leave, like 10-15 minutes. I know she is single, and she is very flirtatious and purposely keeps cleaning all over top of me and leaning on me and over me and shit like that. However, I'm getting tired of fucking up my apartment every other day just so I can pay her to come over and not fuck me.

How do I go about sealing the deal?

Eye contact. Look at her eyes when she comes in and look at her like you're already fucking her (don't be too intense, and don't look away either, kinda smile knowingly with your eyes). She'll be glowing and her eyes will shine and she won't know why at first. When she's cleaning just play around with her, joke and just be playfully arrogant. She'll laugh even if it's not funny because you're the boss and have status over her. If she keeps laughing, eventually she'll start to see you as am attractive, funny, charming guy, because she's not going to be consciously faking it, she needs to come up with a reason why she's laughing and therefore she'll most likley decide "oh, I like him, that's why I keep laughing!" and as proof to back this up logically she has all those nice feelings your eye contact is giving her. Also, casually touch her occasionally. Don't over do it. Just get her comfortable with your touch and she'll start touching you back.

Even if she doesn't laugh at all your jokes just plow through it. Think of the guy who's a boss somewhere and had sex with most of his female staff...his jokes are never that funny, are they? They still laugh at it though and they still fuck him.

So next time she comes over, when she's cleaning keep her company, do the eye and playfulness thing. Get her aroused with your confident body language (slight changes, don't be too obvious), your funny conversation, and your complete attention to her (just focus on her and watch her clean, tell her that you like watching her clean, don't say it like a creep, say it more like a child would say it) Maintain that light innocence about you with just a hint of devilish sexuality.

When she cleans on top of you just confidently put your nose on the small hairs on her neck and smell her deeply and say "mmmmmm"...then suddenly grab her gently yet roughly (like a man should), pin her down, put your face near hers and say slowly, and with resonance...(think the voice you use when your having sex) "you like being close, don't you?" and smile at her knowingly and say "i like being close too..." and slowly but calmly say this to her as you move in really slowly for the kiss " and closer...closer...closer..." and most likely she wont be able to take the tension and close in for the kiss herself. Then you fuck her. If she's just laying there in awe and fascination, you go in for the kiss a little bit before she expects it. A nice surprise.

Also, please make sure that you don't pay her right away after having sex. That's not cool. Just stay with her for a while after having sex, let her bond with you a bit so she'll keep fucking you. Pay her for the cleaning at the very end.

Note: If you keep delaying this process, she's going to take it as a rejection and you'll NEVER get to fuck her. Do this ASAP!

[hotbod]

http://video.xnxx.com/video158592/na...herself_a_fuck

[Mor3BL7]

This isnt gonna end up like that Seinfeld episode where Jerry pays the maid to have sex and take naps and not clean is it

[FireStarter]

Just throwing it out there.... Since you're employing her, if it turns out she is offended by your advances she can sue you for employer-employee sexual harassment. Even if she goes along with it, and you end up banging her, if you ever pissed her off after that she could sue you and say you harassed/raped her.

[Agent 008]

Originally Posted by FireStarter

Just throwing it out there.... Since you're employing her, if it turns out she is offended by your advances she can sue you for employer-employee sexual harassment. Even if she goes along with it, and you end up banging her, if you ever pissed her off after that she could sue you and say you harassed/raped her.

Sometimes it's worth it though.

[FireStarter]

Originally Posted by SHODAN

Sometimes it's worth it though.

Whatever floats the OP's boat I guess. Just make sure she's an illegal so she can't use your country's court system to sue you.

[jator]

Ya, going along with the whole illegal thing, I'd mention something about getting her a green card somewhere along the way and if it turns out she's an illegal then rape/murder and you're good.

Just make sure no one sees her entering the house that day.

[not me]

Make her wear this. Then if she won't fuck you, at least you can fap while watching her clean.

[Vigilante]

I relate man. I don't care what everyone else days. Fucking the maid is like stepping up your manhood ten-fold. And for some reason I just want to bang a sexy french maid.. but not french.. more like a latina-french-maid.. I think you understand.

[Protos]

The best maids to seduce are cougar maids and foreign born maids.

[Idiot]

Originally Posted by Vigilante

I relate man. I don't care what everyone else days. Fucking the maid is like stepping up your manhood ten-fold. And for some reason I just want to bang a sexy french maid.. but not french.. more like a latina-french-maid.. I think you understand.

Trust me, I understand

MUTHA FUCKIN UPDATE GUYS.

ABORT MISSION. I REPEAT ABORT MISSION. SHE HAS A FUCKING KID!!!111!!111

I was going to do the whole "make a drink at my house do you want one thing" in addition to the whole "i like watching you clean thing", BUT today I was hit with a sneak attack.

I wake up and she is already in my apartment cleaning, whatever cool. Then I go to my kitchen and there is a fucking 3-5 year old girl with some crayons and a coloring book. She saw me and said "hola muchacho" and I was thinking "aww fuck this". I went to the maid and said in a joking way "Hey there is a mess in the kitchen you have to clean up" and she was all happy and like "come meet my little girl, my sister couldn't watch her today blah blah".

I got this whole vibe that she wanted me to meet her kid before we "proceed". Fuck that. And fuck this. In my fantasy I fuck a maid and she leaves, I don't end up seeing her and her fucking kid and getting in a relationship.

How do I fire her but not make it seem obvious? I'm pretty sure she knew what I was up to by now, but I think she wants a long term relationship. After she was done cleaning, she kept saying how her and her daughter were going to get ice cream, and she kept saying how she had nothing to do the rest of the day.

I need a way out of this. I'm so scared right now

[FireStarter]

Where do you live, and how long have you employed her? Most places have an employment probationary period where you don't need a reason to dismiss someone. You can just tell them it isn't working out or you can't afford to keep them.

[supperrfreek]

Originally Posted by TCStyle

In that case you should fire the maid and hire a hooker instead.

This, or, if you want to save some money and have a long term relationship: get a real girlfriend and role play with her.

[Idiot]

Originally Posted by supperrfreek

This, or, if you want to save some money and have a long term relationship: get a real girlfriend and role play with her.

I think you guys are missing the point. Roleplaying is just that, it's roleplaying. Now having sex with a maid, who is REALLY A MAID is actually hot. It's hot because it's real life, not some scripted bullshit. Also getting a hooker is disgusting.

To Firestarter:
We are on a week by week basis pretty much. I can call her on certain days and tell her to come in or not. I know I can just fire her outright, but if I do that I think she will know what's up.

[Kinkou]

lol

just tell her you can't afford it anymore

[Kinkou]

Originally Posted by Idiot

We are on a week by week basis pretty much. I can call her on certain days and tell her to come in or not. I know I can just fire her outright, but if I do that I think she will know what's up.

stop calling her

[Irukanji]

Ask her to clean your cock with her tongue and lips?

[FireStarter]

Just make up some story along the lines of "My hours at work got cut back because of budget cuts, etc so I'm currently not earning as much as I'm used to. I'm not sure that I can afford a maid because of the financial situation"

It doesn't sound suspicious especially in light of the way things have been lately with the economy. If she protests, you can always argue that because of your "reduced income" a maid is a luxury you can't afford and paying the bills comes first.

[Kinkou]

you could just be honest with her and tell her that you're turned off by her kid.

lol

[Unwyred]

Originally Posted by Idiot

Trust me, I understand

MUTHA FUCKIN UPDATE GUYS.

ABORT MISSION. I REPEAT ABORT MISSION. SHE HAS A FUCKING KID!!!111!!111

I was going to do the whole "make a drink at my house do you want one thing" in addition to the whole "i like watching you clean thing", BUT today I was hit with a sneak attack.

I wake up and she is already in my apartment cleaning, whatever cool. Then I go to my kitchen and there is a fucking 3-5 year old girl with some crayons and a coloring book. She saw me and said "hola muchacho" and I was thinking "aww fuck this". I went to the maid and said in a joking way "Hey there is a mess in the kitchen you have to clean up" and she was all happy and like "come meet my little girl, my sister couldn't watch her today blah blah".

I got this whole vibe that she wanted me to meet her kid before we "proceed". Fuck that. And fuck this. In my fantasy I fuck a maid and she leaves, I don't end up seeing her and her fucking kid and getting in a relationship.

How do I fire her but not make it seem obvious? I'm pretty sure she knew what I was up to by now, but I think she wants a long term relationship. After she was done cleaning, she kept saying how her and her daughter were going to get ice cream, and she kept saying how she had nothing to do the rest of the day.

I need a way out of this. I'm so scared right now

I can't help it, I fucking lol'ed. This thread was wonderful. So what if she has a kid. Tell her to clean your pipes next time she comes over alone and then get a new made. I'd normally not advise this sort of behaviour but this is such a funny situation.

[StreetMagic]

Originally Posted by Unwyred

I can't help it, I fucking lol'ed. This thread was wonderful. So what if she has a kid. Tell her to clean your pipes next time she comes over alone and then get a new made. I'd normally not advise this sort of behaviour but this is such a funny situation.

Yea stop being a pussy. Who cares if she has a kid??? Once you bang her, that pussy is yours whenever and however you want it. You'd be a fool to fuck this up.

[Agent 008]

Threesome?