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  #1  
Old 02-14-2009, 07:56 PM
NiggerBabyRocketLauncher NiggerBabyRocketLauncher is offline
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Default How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

I think I might seriously benefit from some demonic possession, assuming I get the right type. I'd like to hear anything you might have to say on the subject, including warnings ect.

Also, if I already have one would I be able to bring in another one that would get rid of the old one?
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  #2  
Old 02-14-2009, 08:15 PM
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satans Handicapped Helper View Post
I think I might seriously benefit from some demonic possession, assuming I get the right type. I'd like to hear anything you might have to say on the subject, including warnings ect.

Also, if I already have one would I be able to bring in another one that would get rid of the old one?
Honestly, what you're doing is akin to walking bare-naked into a men's state penitentiary with a bullseye painted around your anus. I'm not saying I believe in demonic possession, but openly inviting what is purportedly evil into you life doesn't seem very smart, nor safe, to me.
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Old 02-14-2009, 10:38 PM
The Jitterskull The Jitterskull is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satans Handicapped Helper View Post
I think I might seriously benefit from some demonic possession, assuming I get the right type. I'd like to hear anything you might have to say on the subject, including warnings ect.

Also, if I already have one would I be able to bring in another one that would get rid of the old one?
First, go to Africa and get captured, and be tortured/slaved for a year or so. Get rescued and come back.

That would be close to it. Color won't exist for you, and you probably will end up suiciding. Really... bad... idea.
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Old 02-14-2009, 10:43 PM
Knight of Blackness Knight of Blackness is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Say one night a stranger knocks on your door. Its a guy, two heads taller then you, a lot bigger and he's got tattoo's all over his body. He tells you he can help you but for that, you need to let him into your house and stay with you until he decides to go away. Oh yea, he's also free to go anywhere and do anything he likes.

Would you thrust a stranger into your house?

I think you get the idea. We're not talking about your house here but about YOUR MIND.
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Old 02-14-2009, 10:44 PM
dark fields of rye dark fields of rye is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Begs the question: Can retards be possessed?
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  #6  
Old 02-14-2009, 10:52 PM
NiggerBabyRocketLauncher NiggerBabyRocketLauncher is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight of Blackness View Post
Say one night a stranger knocks on your door. Its a guy, two heads taller then you, a lot bigger and he's got tattoo's all over his body. He tells you he can help you but for that, you need to let him into your house and stay with you until he decides to go away. Oh yea, he's also free to go anywhere and do anything he likes.

Would you thrust a stranger into your house?

I think you get the idea. We're not talking about your house here but about YOUR MIND.
If he helps me I'd allow him to stay.
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  #7  
Old 02-14-2009, 11:16 PM
The Jitterskull The Jitterskull is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satans Handicapped Helper View Post
If he helps me I'd allow him to stay.
Evil things will desire to control you, but make it seem like they would help you.

Ever read the Simarillion?
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  #8  
Old 02-14-2009, 11:23 PM
NiggerBabyRocketLauncher NiggerBabyRocketLauncher is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

I'm sure there must be some sort of demon code or something. Like if I get 35 coke labels I get a wish or something.
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  #9  
Old 02-14-2009, 11:27 PM
Knight of Blackness Knight of Blackness is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satans Handicapped Helper View Post
I'm sure there must be some sort of demon code or something. Like if I get 35 coke labels I get a wish or something.
And why would something so powerful as demons live by something so futile as a code? Really dude, if I were a demon and wanted to possess someone, I wouldn't say straight out: YO, I want to possess you and harm you!.

What if its once they get a foot hold, there's no way for you to get them out. Then it screws your "I'm letting it stay" all over.

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  #10  
Old 02-14-2009, 11:29 PM
NiggerBabyRocketLauncher NiggerBabyRocketLauncher is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Fine, I'll just kill myself instead then.
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  #11  
Old 02-14-2009, 11:52 PM
Knight of Blackness Knight of Blackness is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satans Handicapped Helper View Post
Fine, I'll just kill myself instead then.
lol, don't do that. You don't need demons to help you I say fuckem! Fuckem 'n nukem. You don't want co-dominion over your body or mind. I plan to rule over this body and many other people on this earth for a very long time. I don't want creepy ghosts or delusions with that.
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  #12  
Old 02-15-2009, 12:30 AM
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

I've met and spoken to two truly demon-possessed persons, and both were obviously at their wits end and wanted out of their situations desperately. When the demon(s) took over, they could levitate and smash items in the room at will, and speak out of the bodies in inhuman voices without even moving their lips. They had dabbled in occult practices before they became inhabited, but once the demons were inside them, it was a living torture for them. These demon-possessed persons can become completely lucid and talk to you just like normal, and then they can switch suddenly, and all of a sudden furniture is crashing around by itself, items in the room are flying around, and the air is charged with energy, and they are a totally different person... they can even get into your head and talk from there. But when the demon lets them have some control back, they beg for release and fall to pieces, babbling and drooling... quite upsetting really. I've had to deal with this twice, and both times were so fantastically terrible and mind-wrenching that I can hardly describe it, even though the events are imprinted in my mind like black and white photographs. Supernatural events such as these make you doubt reality ever afterwards, and there's no going back after you've experienced them for yourself. Take it from me though... you DO NOT want a demon or demons living inside your body.
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  #13  
Old 02-15-2009, 12:45 AM
hellspawn hellspawn is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satans Handicapped Helper View Post
I think I might seriously benefit from some demonic possession, assuming I get the right type. I'd like to hear anything you might have to say on the subject, including warnings ect.

Also, if I already have one would I be able to bring in another one that would get rid of the old one?
It's called scrying, it has to do with mirrors and asking satan himself for assistance ( or so i've read). But i've never heard of it ending well at all.....

Last edited by hellspawn; 02-15-2009 at 12:46 AM. Reason: spelling error
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  #14  
Old 02-15-2009, 01:09 AM
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Dream of the iris Dream of the iris is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Contracts bind you and you will lose this one. Don't be a fool and stay out of this area of life until you become more responsible. This isn't a place for children and I mean that most literally and figuratively. Age and size does not mean you are an adult.

I'll leave this topic open for now, but fair warning: While I try to keep an open mind, I cannot tolerate this kind of dark filth. If I see any post that seriously aid him in his quest, I.E. step by step instructions on how to get a demon into your life, I will delete it. I trust Fox will do the same. This goes for spam and trolling as well.
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  #15  
Old 02-15-2009, 01:18 AM
Knight of Blackness Knight of Blackness is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dream of the iris View Post
Contracts bind you and you will lose this one. Don't be a fool and stay out of this area of life until you become more responsible. This isn't a place for children and I mean that most literally and figuratively. Age and size does not mean you are an adult.

I'll leave this topic open for now, but fair warning: While I try to keep an open mind, I cannot tolerate this kind of dark filth. If I see any post that seriously aid him in his quest, I.E. step by step instructions on how to get a demon into your life, I will delete it. I trust Fox will do the same. This goes for spam and trolling as well.
As much as I don't agree with doing these things, I can't allow you to delete any such posts without reporting it as censorship. No offense but even if its dark filth, people are still free to perform it if they wish for it.
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  #16  
Old 02-15-2009, 01:33 AM
NiggerBabyRocketLauncher NiggerBabyRocketLauncher is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

You think I could get my dog possessed?
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  #17  
Old 02-15-2009, 01:16 PM
Knight of Blackness Knight of Blackness is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

That would be cruel and unhonourable.
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  #18  
Old 02-15-2009, 01:28 PM
KillSwitch_J KillSwitch_J is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satans Handicapped Helper View Post
I'm sure there must be some sort of demon code or something. Like if I get 35 coke labels I get a wish or something.
Someone has either watched waaaay too much anime, or they really like trolling.
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  #19  
Old 02-17-2009, 02:07 AM
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a giant pterodactyl a giant pterodactyl is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satans Handicapped Helper View Post
I'm sure there must be some sort of demon code or something. Like if I get 35 coke labels I get a wish or something.
more like, you get 35 coke labels and he will rip your head off and slam his dick down your throat till it pops out your ass, and devour your sanity.
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  #20  
Old 02-17-2009, 06:14 PM
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

The thread topic is a spectacularly bad idea.

Therefore, off it goes to the land of Bad Ideas. . . .
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  #21  
Old 02-17-2009, 07:20 PM
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

"Dear Abbydon,

I have an unwanted houseguest living in my body...I've tried and tried to politely suggest they may want to move on, but they just won't take the hint! They say that possession is 9/10ths of the law, but really, the ectoplasm is starting to leave stains. How can I bundle them off to the ethereal plane?

Help!,
Soulless in Seattle"
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  #22  
Old 02-17-2009, 07:23 PM
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Lol this shit was in the Demons and Spooks forum.

Lol at were in ended up. Well if your for real, first abandon any religion you have. Secondly, go to a haunted house or an area were demon/angry spirits have been found. Then, idk, call them out taunt them. Some spirits have been known to follow people.
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  #23  
Old 02-17-2009, 08:11 PM
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Exclamation Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

two words:

Ouija Board

everyone around here says they are bad news, and that's exactly what you're looking for right? simply tell the ouija board that you accept any spirit into your body and you want to be possessed.
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  #24  
Old 02-17-2009, 08:55 PM
SLIM SLIM is offline
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Mad Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Greyfox View Post
The thread topic is a spectacularly bad idea.

Therefore, off it goes to the land of Bad Ideas. . . .
Fuck off we don't want this shit. BI is only for hardcore people who want to bash their younger sister's boyfriend because he bought her alcohol and got her drunk.

Besides most people on zoklet are already possessed by a demon of stupidity.

Last edited by SLIM; 02-17-2009 at 09:15 PM.
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  #25  
Old 02-17-2009, 10:40 PM
Jeff The Hunter Jeff The Hunter is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by slim-ov-derby View Post
Fuck off we don't want this shit. BI is only for hardcore people who want to bash their younger sister's boyfriend because he bought her alcohol and got her drunk.

Besides most people on zoklet are already possessed by a demon of stupidity.
^^ This.
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  #26  
Old 02-21-2009, 05:33 AM
hellspawn hellspawn is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Remember the exorcist, if you want to slam a crucific into the tip of your cock again and again until the blood runs, and ultimatley dintergrate your penis get possesed!
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  #27  
Old 02-21-2009, 12:36 PM
Equinox Equinox is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

This might help you, kind sir.

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  #28  
Old 02-21-2009, 03:39 PM
Ciber Ciber is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Spirits and demons are about as real as god.

Seriously, how old are you?
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  #29  
Old 02-21-2009, 03:43 PM
Agent 008 Agent 008 is offline
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Thumbs Up Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Every time I venture into the Metaphysical forum, I start laughing uncontrollably.

The troll threads are hilarious enough, but then seeing the replies of the mods, and not knowing if they are just playing along or actually being serious? Goddamn.
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  #30  
Old 02-21-2009, 08:49 PM
Equinox Equinox is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ciber View Post
Spirits and demons are about as real as god.

Seriously, how old are you?
If you were referring to me, then you obviously didn't realise I was joking. And nice context, 'about as real as god'.
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  #31  
Old 02-21-2009, 09:06 PM
macnolias macnolias is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satans Handicapped Helper View Post
I think I might seriously benefit from some demonic possession, assuming I get the right type. I'd like to hear anything you might have to say on the subject, including warnings ect.

Also, if I already have one would I be able to bring in another one that would get rid of the old one?
Who are you looking to be possessed by, Rosy Palm and her five friends?
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  #32  
Old 02-21-2009, 11:03 PM
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by KillSwitch_J View Post
Someone has either watched waaaay too much anime, or they really like trolling.
let the troll have his cookie, i'm getting a good laugh outta this thread
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  #33  
Old 02-22-2009, 12:59 PM
NiggerBabyRocketLauncher NiggerBabyRocketLauncher is offline
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Smile Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by macnolias View Post
Who are you looking to be possessed by, Rosy Palm and her five friends?
I was hoping either Stalin or The ODB.
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  #34  
Old 02-22-2009, 01:13 PM
Agent 008 Agent 008 is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satans Handicapped Helper View Post
I was hoping either Stalin or The ODB.
I am so addicting to these
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  #35  
Old 02-22-2009, 01:28 PM
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Calypso View Post
If you were referring to me, then you obviously didn't realise I was joking. And nice context, 'about as real as god'.
No it wasn't to you >_>
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  #36  
Old 02-22-2009, 07:05 PM
Maitreya's Asassin Maitreya's Asassin is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

OK, I can answer this one.

A. To do it, use a quija board, or try, and do a penjulum effect, with a chain, or possibly something else.

B. If you do it, at first, you will hear house settling noises, and a "feeling" will enter the room. Then, a cold pocket will form, mist may form in it, it may disguise itself as a good spirit. Then, when it enters your body, it will cause an uncomfortable burning sensation, and you will feel sick, and miserable. You may even throw up.
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  #37  
Old 02-23-2009, 12:36 AM
Vispilio Vispilio is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maitreya's Asassin View Post
OK, I can answer this one.

A. To do it, use a quija board, or try, and do a penjulum effect, with a chain, or possibly something else.

B. If you do it, at first, you will hear house settling noises, and a "feeling" will enter the room. Then, a cold pocket will form, mist may form in it, it may disguise itself as a good spirit. Then, when it enters your body, it will cause an uncomfortable burning sensation, and you will feel sick, and miserable. You may even throw up.
You and the rest of the people eating this demon shit up are fucking retarded.

There is no God and there are no demons. I know your life sucks but that doesn't mean you should abandon reason for make believe. Grow the fuck up, all of you.
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  #38  
Old 02-23-2009, 12:42 AM
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Okay here is how you do it:

1.
-Buy LSD (a few pills should do)
-Buy Mandragora (that shit will give you demons)

-> eat it all

2. Draw a pentagram and sing some kind of mantra ('Demon oh Demon')
3. undress
4. Run around in your Neiberhoud and scream "Satan!! Oh Satan!! Fuck me in the ass oh Satan!"
5. Wait for the effects of the drugs
6. VoilÓ you are possesed
7. ???
8. PROFIT!

btw it's so sad that after one troll posts, thousands of trolls try to be funny... but they ain't! (including me you faggots)

Only the 'serious' answers were funny (do you paranormal retards don't know what a troll post is?)...
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  #39  
Old 02-23-2009, 02:00 AM
Equinox Equinox is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ciber View Post
No it wasn't to you >_>
Oh, sorry
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  #40  
Old 02-23-2009, 02:19 AM
Lanny Lanny is offline
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Default Re: How do I invite a spirit/demon into my life?

shouldn't this be in SotD?
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