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How to steal CD's/DVD's from Wal*Mart

by confused masses

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It's that time of the week again, your favorite Movie just came out or you want to purchase your favorite bands new CD...but you're low on cash...Don't worry, you'll be watching/listening to it later that day thanks to your friendly neighborhood Wal*Mart. Here is how you do it.

First, take a CD jewel case from a shitty CD/computer game that you hate or outgrew. Break it, have fun doing it too 'cause we all know it's fun to break things. Take a shard from it (one that's in a triangular shape and easy to conceal). This is vital to the cause, so take atleast two incase you stupidly lose one. I call this the "Plastic Blade".

Next, Ride on down to the nearest Wal*Mart, wear clothes that do not attract attention (ie: don't wear wave caps and baggy pants sagged down to your ass if you're a ghetto ass kid or don't wear spike bracelets and that whole punk get up). Go to the entertainment aisle and browse through their selection. Act normal, i suggest you go with a friend so you two can play the part off best and possibly get out with more shit.

Once you have made your selections (take one CD/DVD at a time, you may get caught if you walk around carrying 30 DVD's) walk aimlessly around the store, act like you're shopping/browsing their awesome selection of shit. make comments to your friend about stuff like "Does your mom need this? what else did we need? can you remember?" or just casually talk as two innocent Wal*Mart customers would. This will throw off any suspiscious customers/employees/undercover employees.

While "Browsing", keep an eye on the ceiling for those scenic black domes, if you're stupid or something, those would be security cameras. Find an aisle where there is no domes above it, or near it. If there is a dome above the aisle next to yours, stay close to the side of the aisle closest to that specific aisle. Again, pretend like you're shopping, "browse" throught the items on that wall of the aisle you're on. While doing this, u have your "plastic blade" out. You know that spot on the right side of the DVD case? Where you put the tips of your fingers in to open it up, that's where you work your magic, poke the tip of the triangle of the plastic blade into that area, it should rip through. If the case has a "security enclosed" sticker on that side, you will have to do some extra cutting. Slide the plastic blade until the plastic wrap and the sticker (if the sticker is present there)are ripped open. while you are doing this, i am sure people have walked by your aisle, customers and employees, and some possibly walked into your aisle. make sure you do not stay in one spot for too long, 'cause that's suspiscious. Hopefully you took note of the other aisles without camera view, continue walking with your friend and throwing people off with your conversations. Once you're in a good spot, and your case is ripped open, just pull the case open more with some force until that whole side of the plastic rips open, open it enough to reach your hand in there and take the disc out. examine it quickly for any devices that may set off an alarm. If there are any, remove them. Pocket the disc unsuspisciously and quickly, scratch your ass and slip it into your pocket and continue with your conversation. Do anything that would be normal to see someone do at Wal*Mart. Stash the empty case under an item so it will not be discovered for some time and walk away casually.

With a CD case, it is basically the same thing, slip the plastic blade into the right side of the case where the cover side and the back cover side meet. rip the plastic cover off only on that side and reach your hand in, if it isn't enough room, use force and pull it apart more until the plastic rips more, keep your friend watching your back, make up a signal like squeeking your feet on the floor when someone is coming, when the signal goes off, act normal, pretend to "browse" until the threat is gone, keep your back to any distant cameras. reach in and take the CD and slip it into a pocket unsuspisciously. keep doing this as long as you feel invincible, i don't recommend stealing a lot in one day. steal one day and return 2 weeks later to steal some more, then return 3 weeks, then return 1 week. alternate your visits so it's unpredictable. Before you leave, buy a bottle of Pepsi or something cheap. Make it not obvious you came just to steal. Walk out and you now have some sweet new items to your name.

**I must repeat some things i cannot stress enough. Here they are:**

-Do not shoplift when the store is crowded with employees, customers and stockers.

-Do not shoplift late at night when there are barely anyone there.

-Do not steal more than you think you can get away with, chances are you'll get caught the longer you run back and forth from the electronics department.

-This does not work with other items in Wal*Mart, only on DVD's and CD's.

-If you do get caught, it is by your stupidity and your stupidity only. I am not responsible for your stupidity. I got away with $200.00 worth of discs in two weeks. This does work!

Thankyou for taking the time to read this, have fun with your new DVD's/CD's...

Always Low Prices. Always Wal*Mart.

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