BAY ARYAN RESISTANCE - San Francisco constantly struggles with i
BAY ARYAN RESISTANCE
San Francisco constantly struggles with itself to solve the question of
how many assholes it's possible to fit into a square mile. How many
cybersissies can you cram into a phone booth? How many Gaia-peddling
belly-floppers? How many self-absorbed monkish Nerf balls of
ideological irrelevance? How many dayglo lemon-meringue fashion
tarantulas? How many gaunt, cellophane-wrapped nipple-tweakers? How
many prune-twatted hipster debutantes?
It's a star-lit ballroom full of elitists masquerading as egalitarians.
Of snobs pretending to be socialists. Of petty backstabbers who appoint
themselves as moral crusaders. These creeps can't get along with the
other 99% of the country-shit, most of their time is spent quarreling
among themselves-yet they try to fist-fuck you with Universal
Almost down to the very last shaved anus, San Franciscans are a
xenophobic breed. If you don't speak, look, and act like a San
Franciscan, their policy is one of Zero Tolerance. They're totalitarian
in the sense that they insist on controlling the thoughts and lives of
others through forceful statist intervention. In doing so, they align
themselves with the establishment which they pretend to be
overthrowing. They're a buncha urban supremacists. Unyielding.
Humorless. Stuffed to the gills with an unwarranted sense of their own
cultural/moral superiority. I call them "Bay Aryans."
Surely I must be kidding, that I don't mean to compare such
twinkle-toed West Coast coolness-mongerers to the TEETH-CHATTERINGLY
SINISTER ATROCITIES of the Nazi pork-butchers. After all, Hitler killed
six million Jewboys! That's enuff goldurned Heeb-a-roos to fill eight
San Franciscos. You may be right, tootsie-pop, but are you aware that
non-racist, peace-licking, universal-personhood-touting communist
governments have slaughtered ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY MILLION PEOPLE this
century? The commies beat Hitler 20-1. Their unbounded love for
"humanity" didn't seem to put a check on an even stronger love for
controlling and killing human beings. So much for your murky notions of
government-mandated humanism. Better a Nazi than a commie, I guess.
And either one's better than a Bay Aryan. Being born in San Francisco
is excusable, provided that you evacuate within 30 days of reaching
adulthood. But moving TO the Bay Area is unforgivable under any
circumstance. Based on an unfortunate long-term trend of Freak
Relocation, the town has become a sort of Kurdish tent village of
refugee weirdlings. A once-pretty city with happy-flappy seagulls has
degenerated into an island of whitebreads-in-exile who've all fled from
hometown persecution. San Francisco's foggy hills have become America's
Largest Support Group, a Jonestown for people who were socially
traumatized in high school. Within city limits, I think San Francisco's
fine as a cultural sanctuary for oversocialized misfits. Its danger
lies in an apparently insatiable drive to vengefully impose its values
on everyone outside the fortress. I think it's good that you people
should have your own ghetto. I just think we should build a fence
Among most humans, the need for social approval seems stronger than the
desire to know the truth. Rejected by the ?berclique, the Bay Aryans
form cliques of their own. Blind puppies in a cardboard box, they crawl
over each other groping for "scene" status. So weak as individuals,
they truly believe that "scene" status is a worthwhile goal. They howl
about "fighting fascism," yet they exhibit a strong urge to feel part
of some "community," which is the first flash of the fascist impulse.
You all need a crowd. You all need a movement. You need to be
surrounded by the wool of a million other sheep before you finally feel
warm. You all have social consciences because you're zeros as
individuals. Your compassion for others is ironically founded on your
own self-hatred. You swim with "the movement" because you're lost on
I don't care about your precious personal lifestyle choices. I really
don't. And your entire dingbat philosophy, the whole tectonic plate
upon which San Francisco rests, is based on the false presumption that
people such as me are somehow upset about the manner in which you flap
your genitals around. Egads.
It isn't what you do, it's the way you do it. Not the meat, but rather
the motion. It's not what you're saying, it's your lousy voice. It
isn't your private cock-slurping, it's your public megaphone-mouth. It
ain't how you move beneath the sheets, it's the way you wave the picket
signs around. The problem isn't your self-consciously "decadent"
personal lifestyle, it's your warped social instincts.
It has nothing to do with the widespread sidewalk displays of
ass-rimming...or the women who look like Lou Costello...or even the
concept of white people who hate the concept of white people. In fact,
those are some of the things I LIKE about SF. It's the attitude. The
vantage point. Cloistered in a cultural Presidio, the Bay Aryans see
fit to cast judgment about the millions of peasants who live out on the
The Bay Aryans prove that they aren't truly compassionate by
consistently showing a flagrant hatred for America's white rural
lumpenproletariat. Though San Franciscans may mince through the streets
in protest of hate speech, they sure as shootin' despise dem trailer
trash. Although their hearts are opened like dilated rectums for poster
kids halfway around the world, they disowned the homebound hillbillies
a long time ago. I wonder what would happen if the hillbillies were to
disown the Bay Aryans? Maybe if all the redneck farmers just decided to
stop growing crops for a year. Perhaps if all the white-trash truckers
agreed to halt delivery of all goods into this hostile enemy area.
Maybe if all the Evil White Male Pig cops decided to ease up on Oakland
and let black people REALLY express how they feel about their brethren
in Frisco and Berkeley. That's all it would take. A puff of wind, and
they'd all fall down.
It's a good thing that the rest of the country sees your city as a
harmless Fruitcake Palace. The rest of America is too busy trying to
put food on the table than worrying about your neurotic socio-libidinal
peccadilloes. The rest of America could get along fine without San
Francisco. The reverse is hardly true.
You should thank Goddess that there are a few Nazis in Idaho and a
smattering of Klansmen in Kentucky, because what else would you talk
about at the weekly gatherings of the collective? Never mind that you
all live in a much more AFFLUENT place than Idahoans or Kentuckians do.
Personal finances don't often factor into your ideas of what
constitutes oppression, do they? You claim to identify with the poor
and downtrodden, yet you're miraculously able to pay some of the
highest rents in America. How do you do it? Maybe if you took the
silver spoon out of your mouth, I'd be able to understand what you were
mumbling about empowerment.
Modern American Leftoidism, a Volk religion epitomized in places such
as the evil SF/Berkeley vortex, is almost exclusively the purview of
upper-middle-class white kids who've never breathed a fleeting gasp of
true oppression in their lives. This must be why the Bay Aryans don't
seem nearly as concerned with America's widening class disparities as
they are with its fashion mistakes and verbal boorishness. Though the
Bay Aryans fancy themselves as revolutionaries, they're actually little
more than a left-wristed inversion of Miss Manners. An area that prides
itself on the Free Speech Movement is now gung-ho in favor of legal
restrictions on terminology which it doesn't deem proper or sensitive.
The Bay area teems with tattletales and stool pigeons and hall monitors
and snitches. Since they don't have any REAL problems in their lives,
these mushy bananas worry about getting their feelings bruised.
Perhaps it hasn't occurred to you, but human history is not entirely
summarized by the bold struggle for the "right" to poke your veiny
ding-dong through disco-bathroom glory holes. Not every act is
political. Some are just silly and ugly and stinky.
Are you all high on crack? Does some municipal law require you to
either have a glass pipe or a dick in your mouth at all times? Who else
would seriously try to argue that rape has nothing to do with sex or
that racism has nothing to do with economics? The holes in your logic
have been stretched wider than your sphincters. Any honest overview of
African, Asian, and Hispanic cultures would reveal more sexism,
homophobia, and ethnic strife than you could shake a white dick at.
Everyone is born corrupt. White males were simply better at it.
You can show your sincere opposition to white-male imperialism by
giving your city back to the Injuns. Maybe we could help San Francisco
realize its multicultural dreams by immediately shipping a million or
so Third World indigents there. Let them take your jobs while you
starve for awhile. We could forcibly relocate all the white-hipster
undesirables out to Alcatraz, where they'd perform bloody gladitorial
feats to the delight of Kenyan tourists on paddleboats.
I'm glad you've all gathered together in one place. Makes it easier to
aim the missiles. Aren't you due for another natural disaster or
something? Exactly what year are you scheduled to slide into the ocean?
I want to take pictures.
No offense, but I have a higher opinion of the runny, worm-filled
dogshit I scrape from my boot with a popsicle stick than I do of your
fair city. You gave us OJ Simpson, but what have you done lately?
San Francisco, America's B-movie imitation of Paris.
San Francisco, the city that ruined punk rock.
San Francisco, the most intolerant place in the country.
Second to Berkeley, of course. Berkeley's so bad, it's too painful to
Tony Bennett left his heart. I took a dump. I'd tell you all to go to
hell, but you already live there.
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