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Video XCitement #31

All stories on this web site are purely FICTIONAL. The people depicted within these stories only exist in someone's IMAGINATION. Any resemblence between anyone depicted in these stories and any real person, living or dead, is an incredible COINCIDENCE too bizarre to be believed. If you think that you or someone you know is depicted in one of these stories it's only because you're a twisted perverted little fucker who sees conspiracies and plots where none exist. You probably suspect that your own MOTHER had sex with ALIENS and COWS and stuff. Well, she didn't. It's all in your head. Now take your tranquilizers and RELAX.




BOX 187

FRASER, MI. 48026

Video XCitement #31

by "Dirty Bob"

Trivia Time: what is FROTTAGE and SHRIMPING? Clue:

you will find both in FOXY VIDEO'S new video "Personal Touch

IV--This One's For You".

Don't feel bad...I had no idea what they were either!

After watching the video (and after calling FOXY VIDEO)

I discovered that shrimping is (are you ready for this) TOE

SUCKING and frottage is DRY HUMPING!

These are just two of the various sexual manipulations

to be found in "Personal Touch IV--This One's For You". The

stars are all pros and include Trinity Loren, Shane Hunter,

Cheri Taylor, April Sommers, Don Gomez, Kassi Nova, Jade

East, Eric Price, Rocco Cricci, and Ray Victory.

The plot? Who cares--as long as you get to see people

like one of my favorites--TRINITY LOREN--in sizzling action.

I have been a fan of hers since Day 1. I even broke down and

bought a copy of her first video called AWESOME a while back

for my personal limited collection.

Anyway, she IS awesome in this new commercial release!

This video takes advantage of her immense tits in all of

her scenes (as it should for the joy of her fans)!

It you want to indulge in the voyeuristic end of sexual

action, big boobs, and frottage and shrimping (heh

heh)...give it a try!

ARROW FILM & VIDEO 9748 Cozycroft Ave. #A Chatsworth,

Ca. 91311. In a hurry? 1-800-233-2452 for your shopping



Finally: VELVET #2! Due to extreme pressure from her

many fans, Velvet has created her second masterpiece!

The first part consists of Velvet demonstrating how to

fill her mouth with male flesh (without choking!). She

proves that "what was once soft will--while being surrounded

by her velvety lips--become hard and eventually (after over

30 minutes!) become soft again"! That's right,

folks...Velvet proves that she gives one of the most

intimate, sexy, and (heh heh DURABLE) blow jobs on the West

Coast! Cum one...cum all, but no one cums as happily as the

lucky stiff inside her mouth!

Is that all she does, you ask? Well, dumbshit, as a

matter of fact, NO! Let me just say that she manipulates

some devices in a way as to create personal pleasure for

herself (heh heh)! In fact, for once I will be tasteful (heh

heh) and just say that--in this part of the video--she

becomes so carried away while using a vibrator that she loses

control of one of her bodily functions! Talk about "internal

combustion" and how to put it out. . .!!!

Velvet! You can't bring her home to Mom, but you can

bring her to your TV in sizzling sexual action that will

leave you drained (if you take matters in hand, so to


If a dick could smile, you would see it grinning from

ear-to-ear in VELVET #2!

To order, send $39 (yes, it is worth it, you cheap

bastard!) to Velvet's own company: WILD WEST VIDEO 8690

Aero DR. Suite 303DB San Diego, Ca. 92123.

By the way, for you computer fanatics, if you have an

IBM compatible computer that can show high-quality graphics,

Velvet has a 5 1/4 disk for sale ($5.00) that has some hi-rez

dirty graphic GIF images of herself in nice naked positions!

Don't you just LOVE today's hi-tech society...?

Also from Wild West Video: older European videos that

Velvet's better half obtained from who-knows-where!

All orders from Wild West Video will receive a catalog

listing of miscellaneous categories that are available of

these foreign flicks.


It is easy for a new company to come up with new

material...all they have to do is film it, right? It is much

harder for a company that specializes in hard-to-find old

vintage films to come up with new (or should I say yet-to-be-

put-on-video) material.

SUNSET SOFTWARE has done it again! They are now

offering a new series called GIRLIE LOOPS. Vol. I is

available for only $24.95 as the first of their discounted

videos. A free catalog is sent with all orders or available

separately for $4.00 (yes, it IS illustrated!).

Their videos are for those of you who like the idea of

seeing old-time (usually from the 50s and 60s and in black &

white) films of what people considered filthy back then but

would rarely be more than a "R" rating today!

You will find only solo broads in these videos. In the

rare case where more than one person is on the screen, you

will notice that there is no physical contact made that is of

any type of sexual nature.

Sexy girls who know how to tease and flirt with the

camera! Girls who--back then--you would NEVER bring home to

meet your parents! You know the type: great body, very

attractive, and born teasers! The kind of girl who got off

by showing her body or keeping it just out of your reach.

The type who seemed willing to do about anything but somehow

would never be there when you needed it! You know what I

mean--and SUNSET SOWTWARE has their exclusive films just for

you! These girls still get the last laughs since you STILL

can see but not touch! Oh, well...the story of my life!

SUNSET SOFTWARE Box 5808 C Sherman Oaks, Ca. 91413



Big Lou, the Sultan of "R" Smut, has expanded his

catalog to include some great new titles that will more than

satisfy lovers of the term "big boobs"!


tit-feast features SIX very well-endowed Page-3 Girls whose

sole purpose is to cater to absolutely every businessman's

desire while at the manor! $30.00 - 60 minutes.


broads--including the infamous DEBEE ASHBY--bounce it out to

win at this gala event in Bushy's Nightclub in Britain.

$30.00 - 60 minutes.

IN STUNNERS more PAGE 3 Girls reveal how they are

selected in this expose of the London tabloid business.

Plenty of topless action as they tell of what is "really"

expected of them--including a scandal or two! $30.00 - 60


In HOME TOWN GIRLS over 20 girls go out and flash and

strip in very public places. $30.00 - 60 minutes.

Big Lou also has a little bit of home-made stuff

available in 3 separate tapes:

LEA has modeled for many men's magazines and a few XXX

flicks, but here she does some "R" modeling in bikinis, bra,

nude, etc. Cute girl! $30.00 - 40 minutes.

BROOKE is new to modeling and--a few DAYS after turning

18!--she made this special sexy dance/strip/nude video for

Lou and his eager customers! $25.00 - 25 minutes.

LAURA is a sexy brunette with nice round tits who likes

to shake, dance, and even to a little wet t-shirt bit!

Special price: $25.00 - 40 minutes.

Lou has an ILLUSTRATED catalog of over 60 titles that is

available for $3.00 - OR you can order his fantastic PREVIEW

TAPE for only $24.00 postpaid - 2 hours! I highly recommend

purchasing his preview video! The catalog will be sent with

the preview tape free of charge if you tell him that "Dirty

Bob" sent you!

INDIGO RESOURCES 251 West Central St. Suite 104DB

Natick, Ma. 01760


SEXTRAVERTS strikes again! Can you imagine 2 bored guys

sitting around a hotel room...and one guy decides to try out

a new machine (the size of a remote TV control) on 2 girls

who just happen to be walking by the room? The device is

simply some sort of mind control mechanism that allows them

to have complete control of the girls.

So what do they do? After making certain that it

operates correctly, they immediately have them remove their

clothes and begin a non-stop sexual adventure! Wouldn't


The title of this is INTIMATE INFERNO...lasts about 60

minutes...and is an interesting new slant on the dirty old

man theme! Give it a try!

Another of their new videos is CAUGHT BI SURPRISE.

Imagine an innocent girl attending a swingers convention.

Krystal, and experienced lesbian, decides to introduce her to

the Sapphic way of love. During the course of her

indoctrination, Mike just happens to come by and is quickly

invited to join into the fun! The people who made this video

recommend that you keep a towel handy while watching it!

Wonder why (heh heh)...?

Gosh, "Dirty Bob", how do I order these masterpieces?

Well, for a thousand bucks I will give you my review copies.

However, you can also get them direct from the nice people

who go to so much trouble to bring you fine amateur filth!

They normally sell for $39.95 each, but if you mention this

column you can have BOTH for $69.95! Please add $4.00 for

postage. If you live in Ohio, you must keep the governor

happy and include 7% sales tax.

They are both available in VHS or BETA. You can order

by check, money order, Visa, MasterCard, or your first born

female child to:

SEXTRAVERTS Box 03588 Cleveland, Ohio 44103.

On second thought, better forget that "first born female

child" bit--no kiddie porn here...just out-and-out lust!

Next month, I will review 2 more of their newest videos!

You have been warned!


Uh, oh! Since it is the year of the movie sequel, how



For those of you who can't get enough video sex in your

daily diet, these two new videos by EYE SHADOW PRODUCTIONS

should get you kick-started!

SINGLE GIRL MASTURBATION #2 is just like it sounds:

girls doing solo masturbation! No, it does not mean that the

girls are single because--after viewing this video--there

would be HUNDREDS of marriage proposals flying in to these

sexy creatures! Start with a girl wearing next to

nothing...mix in a bit of horniness...add a dab of finger and

vibrator action...and you have SINGLE GIRL MASTURBATION #2!

LESBIAN LINGERIE FANTASY #2 is more like a strong

lesbian video than a lingerie fantasy...but that is what you

wanted to see anyway, right? No guys--girls only who quickly

show you how they entertain themselves when you aren't

around! Hot stuff--guaranteed!

Both of these new videos feature "name" actresses from

the porn industry including Lynn "big-boob" LeMay, Champagne,

Debi Diamond, Stacy (no, I am not lisping!) Lords, Aurora,

Miki Snow, etc. etc.

It should be very easy to order these hot videos as they

have a sexy ad in this issue. If you can't find it:

[ Gary - put ordering info and address here ]


How do you review a new video...#11 in a series...that

is taken from a WEEKLY bikini contest that has been going on

for EIGHT YEARS? You just KNOW that it has to be FANTASTIC--

and you are correct!

After much pressure from their fans, CALIFORNIA CLASSIC


CHAMPIONSHIPS bikini contest!

Imagine almost 2 dozen pair of firm, round, young, and

usually BIG BOOBS! Imagine them compressed into the tiniest

threads that barely cover the good stuff! Imagine these

Bouncing Wonders doing everything imaginable to influence the

final decision of the lucky judges! Imagine yourself one of

these judges!

Folks, I have been after my publisher--"Dirty Gary"-- to

send me out to California to (ahem!) see this phenomenon of

nature in person, but the cheap $@$#%$@! won't go for it! I

have tried and tried to explain how a first-hand experience

will bring out a better article, but no dice. Oh, well!

Back to #11. This is the last round where they

(somehow!) weed out the 9.9999s and keep only about a dozen

10.0000s for the next contest (#12 - reviewed NEXT month!).

I don't know how they do it, though! Eliminate a few of

these perfect girls with the perfect bodies? How? Every

last one of them would be grounds for divorce if your wife

caught you within heavy breathing distance!

I hope I sound enthusiastic, because these bikini-clad


WORLD--and you can quote me on that!

I will include a photo of just a few of the girls with

this review in order to whet your horny appetite! My

personal favorite--Tiffany--is in the lower right hand corner

of the photo. Hey, if any of you out there personally know

her, throw in a good word for me!

How much can perfection cost? Not much: $28.00 plus $3

for shipping (that's $31.00 for those of you who left your

calculator at home!).

CALIFORNIA CLASSIC CLIPS Box 1249 Chino, Ca. 91708



SEARCH contest is getting close to the deadline, so if you

still have a video of that special girl to submit, please do

so sometime soon!

The object of your submission is to provide what YOU and

the MODEL consider to be the sexiest way that you can portray

her on video! WE do NOT want or expect anything but SOLO

action, so DON'T send a tape that shows how your model does

it better than Linda Lovelace (or anything similar)! We want

an example of what you and the model feel is sexy. In fact,

nudity is NOT required (but is recommended!) as long as

enough is revealed for our panel of distinguished judges to

evaluate her "assets"!

Now is the time for you to "sweet talk" that sexy young

wench into displaying her charms for your new camcorder. YOU

You know she's got it...SHE knows she has now is your

excuse to film her for the contest!

Last year's winner--LINDSEY HOLDEN--decided to sell her

submission as part of her tape #2. She has made a TON of

bucks due to the massive response of horny video watchers who

wanted to see her tape. You can too! In fact, she was

mentioned in a special article on amateur adult videos that

appeared in the March 1988 issue of High Society Magazine!

Free publicity for the winner and runners-up!

We have NOT had a real large number of submissions for

the 1989 contest--so far--so you REALLY do have a good chance

at winning! Give it a try!

Don't delay! Send her candy and flowers today--and

Video XCitement #32

By "Dirty Bob"


Before I get to the good stuff, I have to tell you how I

spent my summer vacation!

I would like to hear from any of you who have

experienced TABLE and COUCH dancing at Myrtle Beach.

Good Old "Dirty Bob" and another perverted friend of

mine found a place down there that was enough to drive a

person WILD!

Most people have heard of table dancing (where the

topless girl...for around 5 bucks...will dance a song just

for you at your table so close you could reach out with your

mouth and, uh, get the idea. Topless. Great


My friend decided to embarrass me, so he picked a lovely

girl and bought me a table dance. It worked! When it was

over, she whispered sexily into my ear asking if I wanted to

have a COUCH dance. A what, I inquired innocently? As she

explained it, for about $10 she would dance to a song just

like the table dance...but in the back room and CLOSER! I

just couldn't figure how she could get closer (heh heh) but

was eager to learn, so I turned around and bought my friend a

couch dance. Her name was Angel. She was!

When the long song was over, he came back with a dazed

expression and (as I expected) promptly bought ME a couch

dance! We have strange makes it OK to buy the

other person one (knowing the favor would be returned)--that

way we weren't wasting the cash on ourselves. Who's fooling

who? We spent most of the night buying for each other!

I forget the name of the place, but it is located in

Myrtle Beach, S. C. at the corner of Rts. 501 and 17. Every

one of the THIRTEEN GIRLS was dynamite! Does anyone out

there in Video XCitement land have any good stories from

there of know any of the dancers...? Let me know!


A new service is beiong offered exclusively for Video

XCitement readers and advertisers!

Advertisers...especially index-card size

advertisers...can now have their ads professionally TYPESET

at very reasonable rates (in other words, this guy works

CHEAP!). In addition to ads, you can also have brochures,

letterheads, ANYTHING typeset. Hey--this is QUALITY at

bargain basement prices!

If you want your ads looking like a million bucks, give

him a try!

For information and free samples, contact DAN at 101

Briars Drive #603 Clinton, Ms. 63901



agree...she had a helluva night!

Pity poor Heather. She starts out the night with a wild

romp with some lucky guy who learns the true meaning of the

term "deep throat". She then returns to her apartment to

find a sexually frustrated girl. Being the kind (and horny)

person that she is, Heather introduces the fortunate lass to

girl-girl pleasure.

Wow! Not only does this chick really get off on

Heather--she was so satisfied that she ran off to the local

adult store and spent a fortune on "toys" and rushed them

back to the moist and waiting Heather for experimentation!

We are talking multiple dildos (vibrating, squirming, 2-

headed, squirting...all types!). Baby oil! Lotions!

Potions! Things that go "bump" in the night--she bought them

all--and they were used on each other in explicit glory!

This video has it all! Unfortunately, Heather has to

make a living using her "assets", so she has to charge $39.95

for her video. However, this practically fills a 2-hour VHS,

so--minute-for-minute--it is indeed worth the price!

Interestingly, Heather informed me that--although her

own personal sexual experience with men is legendary, her

experience doing girl-girl has been rather limited and very

selective. As such, the "newness" of these two girls getting

together really does come across fresh and new! Way to go,

Heather and friend!

HEATHER O'CONNELL. The June 1988 Genesis Magazine girl.

Go for it!

She is PICTURE PERFECT 124H Blossom Hill Road Suite

324 San Jose, Ca. 95123. The video is OH! WHAT A NIGHT!

The time to order is NOW! 'Nuff Said!


THE CONTINENTAL SPECTATOR, now in its 24th year, is an

adult photo/classified magazine devoted to people who don't

mind placing their (usually naked and sometimes in action)

photo along with information as to what "service" they offer

(photos, personal meetings, videos...anything!). You can

find it all offered in these pages!

For their latest issue sent 1st. class, send $10.50 to:

THE CONTINENTAL SPECTATOR 147 W. 42 St. NYC 10036. Ask for

lovely Linda Lee and tell her "Dirty Bob" from Video

XCitement sent you!


SEXTRAVERTS strikes again with ORAL EXPERTS and


I usually like to view a flick a few times and then

write my own description of the action. After viewing these

2 fine videos, I am going to simply repeat their own

descriptions on the full-color boxes because they, for once,

tell it very well and I, for once, agree with what they say!

ORAL EXPERTS: Veronica is seduced by John, her best

friend's kinky father. Twice her serior, John anoints this

auburn-haired beauty with cool rivers of wine, and then

unleashes his skilled tongue on her shaved, sensitive mound.

Twisting and turning, her unrestrained ecstatic screams

provide a rhythm for her acrobotic contortions. Don't miss


ROXXXANNE: Hot-to-trot- Roxanne knows how to get her

"rocks off" by diving into her toy box and pulling out a

"melting pot" of devices: a shiny black dildo, a pink french

tickler, and a white dildo that needs a drink from her glass

of water now and then. After getting hungry for the real

thing, she recruits her boyfriend, pulling him at-and-at 'em

like a jack-in-the-box. This amateur video is REAL LIFE ON


Phew! That sounds like a veritable compendium of

Machiavellian callidity as a bi-product of human nature. In

other words, the person who described these 2 videos was

leaving nothing to chance!

I think the descriptions are appropriate, so order them

today, you perverts out there!


$69.95! Please add $4 postage.

SEXTRAVERTS. Box 3588 Cleveland, Ohio 44103.


WILD WEST VIDEO, where Velvet hangs her spurs, now has

their THIRD amateur video available--and I have good news and

bad news.

First the bad news. Velvet fans...sorry, but Velvet

isn't in this video!

The good news: Velvet is still around! Don't worry!

Her own video company--WILD WEST VIDEO--is just selling

another amateur video that another sexy couple made


This new 1 hour video stars Darla and Ray. Darla is an

exciting young girl who just can't keep away from Ray's rod!

She spends quite a bit of time showing just how deep it will

go in her loving mouth (deep!) among other openings. Ray has

is easy...he just lays back and enjoys!

This is a true amateur production and was apparently

filmed by themselves with no one else present.

As though Ray wasn't enough, she also fiddles around

very seriously with some artificial male appendages (heh


To put it mildly, this girl is horny as hell and can't

get enough! Maybe we should all chip in and send her to my

publisher! Gary, do you think you could handle her (and vice


HOME MOVIES #3. VHS. $39.00 each. Available only

through Velvet at WILD WEST VIDEO 8690 Aero Drive Suite

303DB San Diego, Ca. 92123.

A note from Velvet: " patient, fans...our new

catalog will be ready soon, and it lists many more videos!

It is $5 (refundable with any order) and I promise to

personally rub my naked tits over each and every catalog

before it is shipped!"

Ahhhh, Velvet. So young. So sexy. So soft. And so

damn far away! Maybe I should have her do a custom for me



A brief reminder that it is very close to the deadline

for submissions for the 1989 GREAT AMERICAN AMATEUR ADULT


Last year's winner was Lindsey Holden, who has (sob!)

since retired. She will be missed! Adios, Miss Holden!

bring home the video camera tonight!







Kettering, Ohio's own "Dirty Bob"

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