Video XCitement #31
All stories on this web site are purely FICTIONAL. The people depicted within these stories only exist in someone's IMAGINATION. Any resemblence between anyone depicted in these stories and any real person, living or dead, is an incredible COINCIDENCE too bizarre to be believed. If you think that you or someone you know is depicted in one of these stories it's only because you're a twisted perverted little fucker who sees conspiracies and plots where none exist. You probably suspect that your own MOTHER had sex with ALIENS and COWS and stuff. Well, she didn't. It's all in your head. Now take your tranquilizers and RELAX.
THE FOLLOWING IS TAKEN FROM "DIRTY BOB'S REVIEW COLUMN"
IN VIDEO XCITEMENT MAGAZINE. THE MAGAZINE IS AVAILABLE
BY MAIL (SEND $2 TOKEN PAYMENT FOR THE NEWEST ISSUE) AT:
VIDEO XCITEMENT MAGAZINE
FRASER, MI. 48026
Video XCitement #31
by "Dirty Bob"
Trivia Time: what is FROTTAGE and SHRIMPING? Clue:
you will find both in FOXY VIDEO'S new video "Personal Touch
IV--This One's For You".
Don't feel bad...I had no idea what they were either!
After watching the video (and after calling FOXY VIDEO)
I discovered that shrimping is (are you ready for this) TOE
SUCKING and frottage is DRY HUMPING!
These are just two of the various sexual manipulations
to be found in "Personal Touch IV--This One's For You". The
stars are all pros and include Trinity Loren, Shane Hunter,
Cheri Taylor, April Sommers, Don Gomez, Kassi Nova, Jade
East, Eric Price, Rocco Cricci, and Ray Victory.
The plot? Who cares--as long as you get to see people
like one of my favorites--TRINITY LOREN--in sizzling action.
I have been a fan of hers since Day 1. I even broke down and
bought a copy of her first video called AWESOME a while back
for my personal limited collection.
Anyway, she IS awesome in this new commercial release!
This video takes advantage of her immense tits in all of
her scenes (as it should for the joy of her fans)!
It you want to indulge in the voyeuristic end of sexual
action, big boobs, and frottage and shrimping (heh
heh)...give it a try!
ARROW FILM & VIDEO 9748 Cozycroft Ave. #A Chatsworth,
Ca. 91311. In a hurry? 1-800-233-2452 for your shopping
Finally: VELVET #2! Due to extreme pressure from her
many fans, Velvet has created her second masterpiece!
The first part consists of Velvet demonstrating how to
fill her mouth with male flesh (without choking!). She
proves that "what was once soft will--while being surrounded
by her velvety lips--become hard and eventually (after over
30 minutes!) become soft again"! That's right,
folks...Velvet proves that she gives one of the most
intimate, sexy, and (heh heh DURABLE) blow jobs on the West
Coast! Cum one...cum all, but no one cums as happily as the
lucky stiff inside her mouth!
Is that all she does, you ask? Well, dumbshit, as a
matter of fact, NO! Let me just say that she manipulates
some devices in a way as to create personal pleasure for
herself (heh heh)! In fact, for once I will be tasteful (heh
heh) and just say that--in this part of the video--she
becomes so carried away while using a vibrator that she loses
control of one of her bodily functions! Talk about "internal
combustion" and how to put it out. . .!!!
Velvet! You can't bring her home to Mom, but you can
bring her to your TV in sizzling sexual action that will
leave you drained (if you take matters in hand, so to
If a dick could smile, you would see it grinning from
ear-to-ear in VELVET #2!
To order, send $39 (yes, it is worth it, you cheap
bastard!) to Velvet's own company: WILD WEST VIDEO 8690
Aero DR. Suite 303DB San Diego, Ca. 92123.
By the way, for you computer fanatics, if you have an
IBM compatible computer that can show high-quality graphics,
Velvet has a 5 1/4 disk for sale ($5.00) that has some hi-rez
dirty graphic GIF images of herself in nice naked positions!
Don't you just LOVE today's hi-tech society...?
Also from Wild West Video: older European videos that
Velvet's better half obtained from who-knows-where!
All orders from Wild West Video will receive a catalog
listing of miscellaneous categories that are available of
these foreign flicks.
It is easy for a new company to come up with new
material...all they have to do is film it, right? It is much
harder for a company that specializes in hard-to-find old
vintage films to come up with new (or should I say yet-to-be-
SUNSET SOFTWARE has done it again! They are now
offering a new series called GIRLIE LOOPS. Vol. I is
available for only $24.95 as the first of their discounted
videos. A free catalog is sent with all orders or available
separately for $4.00 (yes, it IS illustrated!).
Their videos are for those of you who like the idea of
seeing old-time (usually from the 50s and 60s and in black &
white) films of what people considered filthy back then but
would rarely be more than a "R" rating today!
You will find only solo broads in these videos. In the
rare case where more than one person is on the screen, you
will notice that there is no physical contact made that is of
any type of sexual nature.
Sexy girls who know how to tease and flirt with the
camera! Girls who--back then--you would NEVER bring home to
meet your parents! You know the type: great body, very
attractive, and born teasers! The kind of girl who got off
by showing her body or keeping it just out of your reach.
The type who seemed willing to do about anything but somehow
would never be there when you needed it! You know what I
mean--and SUNSET SOWTWARE has their exclusive films just for
you! These girls still get the last laughs since you STILL
can see but not touch! Oh, well...the story of my life!
SUNSET SOFTWARE Box 5808 C Sherman Oaks, Ca. 91413
Way to go LOU from INDIGO RESOURCES!
Big Lou, the Sultan of "R" Smut, has expanded his
catalog to include some great new titles that will more than
satisfy lovers of the term "big boobs"!
How about MISADVENTURES AT MEGABOOB MANOR. This British
tit-feast features SIX very well-endowed Page-3 Girls whose
sole purpose is to cater to absolutely every businessman's
desire while at the manor! $30.00 - 60 minutes.
Don't miss the MISS WET T-SHIRT GALA FINAL wher FIFTEEN
broads--including the infamous DEBEE ASHBY--bounce it out to
win at this gala event in Bushy's Nightclub in Britain.
$30.00 - 60 minutes.
IN STUNNERS more PAGE 3 Girls reveal how they are
selected in this expose of the London tabloid business.
Plenty of topless action as they tell of what is "really"
expected of them--including a scandal or two! $30.00 - 60
In HOME TOWN GIRLS over 20 girls go out and flash and
strip in very public places. $30.00 - 60 minutes.
Big Lou also has a little bit of home-made stuff
available in 3 separate tapes:
LEA has modeled for many men's magazines and a few XXX
flicks, but here she does some "R" modeling in bikinis, bra,
nude, etc. Cute girl! $30.00 - 40 minutes.
BROOKE is new to modeling and--a few DAYS after turning
18!--she made this special sexy dance/strip/nude video for
Lou and his eager customers! $25.00 - 25 minutes.
LAURA is a sexy brunette with nice round tits who likes
to shake, dance, and even to a little wet t-shirt bit!
Special price: $25.00 - 40 minutes.
Lou has an ILLUSTRATED catalog of over 60 titles that is
available for $3.00 - OR you can order his fantastic PREVIEW
TAPE for only $24.00 postpaid - 2 hours! I highly recommend
purchasing his preview video! The catalog will be sent with
the preview tape free of charge if you tell him that "Dirty
Bob" sent you!
INDIGO RESOURCES 251 West Central St. Suite 104DB
Natick, Ma. 01760
SEXTRAVERTS strikes again! Can you imagine 2 bored guys
sitting around a hotel room...and one guy decides to try out
a new machine (the size of a remote TV control) on 2 girls
who just happen to be walking by the room? The device is
simply some sort of mind control mechanism that allows them
to have complete control of the girls.
So what do they do? After making certain that it
operates correctly, they immediately have them remove their
clothes and begin a non-stop sexual adventure! Wouldn't
The title of this is INTIMATE INFERNO...lasts about 60
minutes...and is an interesting new slant on the dirty old
man theme! Give it a try!
Another of their new videos is CAUGHT BI SURPRISE.
Imagine an innocent girl attending a swingers convention.
Krystal, and experienced lesbian, decides to introduce her to
the Sapphic way of love. During the course of her
indoctrination, Mike just happens to come by and is quickly
invited to join into the fun! The people who made this video
recommend that you keep a towel handy while watching it!
Wonder why (heh heh)...?
Gosh, "Dirty Bob", how do I order these masterpieces?
Well, for a thousand bucks I will give you my review copies.
However, you can also get them direct from the nice people
who go to so much trouble to bring you fine amateur filth!
They normally sell for $39.95 each, but if you mention this
column you can have BOTH for $69.95! Please add $4.00 for
postage. If you live in Ohio, you must keep the governor
happy and include 7% sales tax.
They are both available in VHS or BETA. You can order
by check, money order, Visa, MasterCard, or your first born
female child to:
SEXTRAVERTS Box 03588 Cleveland, Ohio 44103.
On second thought, better forget that "first born female
child" bit--no kiddie porn here...just out-and-out lust!
Next month, I will review 2 more of their newest videos!
You have been warned!
Uh, oh! Since it is the year of the movie sequel, how
about LESBIAN LINGERIE FANTASY #2 and SINGLE GIRL
MASTURBATION #2? Really!
For those of you who can't get enough video sex in your
daily diet, these two new videos by EYE SHADOW PRODUCTIONS
should get you kick-started!
SINGLE GIRL MASTURBATION #2 is just like it sounds:
girls doing solo masturbation! No, it does not mean that the
girls are single because--after viewing this video--there
would be HUNDREDS of marriage proposals flying in to these
sexy creatures! Start with a girl wearing next to
nothing...mix in a bit of horniness...add a dab of finger and
vibrator action...and you have SINGLE GIRL MASTURBATION #2!
LESBIAN LINGERIE FANTASY #2 is more like a strong
lesbian video than a lingerie fantasy...but that is what you
wanted to see anyway, right? No guys--girls only who quickly
show you how they entertain themselves when you aren't
around! Hot stuff--guaranteed!
Both of these new videos feature "name" actresses from
the porn industry including Lynn "big-boob" LeMay, Champagne,
Debi Diamond, Stacy (no, I am not lisping!) Lords, Aurora,
Miki Snow, etc. etc.
It should be very easy to order these hot videos as they
have a sexy ad in this issue. If you can't find it:
[ Gary - put ordering info and address here ]
How do you review a new video...#11 in a series...that
is taken from a WEEKLY bikini contest that has been going on
for EIGHT YEARS? You just KNOW that it has to be FANTASTIC--
and you are correct!
After much pressure from their fans, CALIFORNIA CLASSIC
CLIPS now has #11 of the MISS CALIFORNIA GIRL BIKINI
CHAMPIONSHIPS bikini contest!
Imagine almost 2 dozen pair of firm, round, young, and
usually BIG BOOBS! Imagine them compressed into the tiniest
threads that barely cover the good stuff! Imagine these
Bouncing Wonders doing everything imaginable to influence the
final decision of the lucky judges! Imagine yourself one of
Folks, I have been after my publisher--"Dirty Gary"-- to
send me out to California to (ahem!) see this phenomenon of
nature in person, but the cheap $@$#%$@! won't go for it! I
have tried and tried to explain how a first-hand experience
will bring out a better article, but no dice. Oh, well!
Back to #11. This is the last round where they
(somehow!) weed out the 9.9999s and keep only about a dozen
10.0000s for the next contest (#12 - reviewed NEXT month!).
I don't know how they do it, though! Eliminate a few of
these perfect girls with the perfect bodies? How? Every
last one of them would be grounds for divorce if your wife
caught you within heavy breathing distance!
I hope I sound enthusiastic, because these bikini-clad
ladies provide the SEXIEST, MOST EROTIC BIKINI SHOW IN THE
WORLD--and you can quote me on that!
I will include a photo of just a few of the girls with
this review in order to whet your horny appetite! My
personal favorite--Tiffany--is in the lower right hand corner
of the photo. Hey, if any of you out there personally know
her, throw in a good word for me!
How much can perfection cost? Not much: $28.00 plus $3
for shipping (that's $31.00 for those of you who left your
calculator at home!).
CALIFORNIA CLASSIC CLIPS Box 1249 Chino, Ca. 91708
Our 1989 GREAT AMERICAN AMATEUR ADULT VIDEO FEMALE STAR
SEARCH contest is getting close to the deadline, so if you
still have a video of that special girl to submit, please do
so sometime soon!
The object of your submission is to provide what YOU and
the MODEL consider to be the sexiest way that you can portray
her on video! WE do NOT want or expect anything but SOLO
action, so DON'T send a tape that shows how your model does
it better than Linda Lovelace (or anything similar)! We want
an example of what you and the model feel is sexy. In fact,
nudity is NOT required (but is recommended!) as long as
enough is revealed for our panel of distinguished judges to
evaluate her "assets"!
Now is the time for you to "sweet talk" that sexy young
wench into displaying her charms for your new camcorder. YOU
You know she's got it...SHE knows she has it...so now is your
excuse to film her for the contest!
Last year's winner--LINDSEY HOLDEN--decided to sell her
submission as part of her tape #2. She has made a TON of
bucks due to the massive response of horny video watchers who
wanted to see her tape. You can too! In fact, she was
mentioned in a special article on amateur adult videos that
appeared in the March 1988 issue of High Society Magazine!
Free publicity for the winner and runners-up!
We have NOT had a real large number of submissions for
the 1989 contest--so far--so you REALLY do have a good chance
at winning! Give it a try!
Don't delay! Send her candy and flowers today--and
Video XCitement #32
By "Dirty Bob"
Before I get to the good stuff, I have to tell you how I
spent my summer vacation!
I would like to hear from any of you who have
experienced TABLE and COUCH dancing at Myrtle Beach.
Good Old "Dirty Bob" and another perverted friend of
mine found a place down there that was enough to drive a
Most people have heard of table dancing (where the
topless girl...for around 5 bucks...will dance a song just
for you at your table so close you could reach out with your
mouth and, uh, well...you get the idea. Topless. Great
My friend decided to embarrass me, so he picked a lovely
girl and bought me a table dance. It worked! When it was
over, she whispered sexily into my ear asking if I wanted to
have a COUCH dance. A what, I inquired innocently? As she
explained it, for about $10 she would dance to a song just
like the table dance...but in the back room and CLOSER! I
just couldn't figure how she could get closer (heh heh) but
was eager to learn, so I turned around and bought my friend a
couch dance. Her name was Angel. She was!
When the long song was over, he came back with a dazed
expression and (as I expected) promptly bought ME a couch
dance! We have strange logic...it makes it OK to buy the
other person one (knowing the favor would be returned)--that
way we weren't wasting the cash on ourselves. Who's fooling
who? We spent most of the night buying for each other!
I forget the name of the place, but it is located in
Myrtle Beach, S. C. at the corner of Rts. 501 and 17. Every
one of the THIRTEEN GIRLS was dynamite! Does anyone out
there in Video XCitement land have any good stories from
there of know any of the dancers...? Let me know!
A new service is beiong offered exclusively for Video
XCitement readers and advertisers!
Advertisers...especially index-card size
advertisers...can now have their ads professionally TYPESET
at very reasonable rates (in other words, this guy works
CHEAP!). In addition to ads, you can also have brochures,
letterheads, ANYTHING typeset. Hey--this is QUALITY at
bargain basement prices!
If you want your ads looking like a million bucks, give
him a try!
For information and free samples, contact DAN at 101
Briars Drive #603 Clinton, Ms. 63901
HEATHER O'CONNELL has a new hit: OH! WHAT A NIGHT! I
agree...she had a helluva night!
Pity poor Heather. She starts out the night with a wild
romp with some lucky guy who learns the true meaning of the
term "deep throat". She then returns to her apartment to
find a sexually frustrated girl. Being the kind (and horny)
person that she is, Heather introduces the fortunate lass to
Wow! Not only does this chick really get off on
Heather--she was so satisfied that she ran off to the local
adult store and spent a fortune on "toys" and rushed them
back to the moist and waiting Heather for experimentation!
We are talking multiple dildos (vibrating, squirming, 2-
headed, squirting...all types!). Baby oil! Lotions!
Potions! Things that go "bump" in the night--she bought them
all--and they were used on each other in explicit glory!
This video has it all! Unfortunately, Heather has to
make a living using her "assets", so she has to charge $39.95
for her video. However, this practically fills a 2-hour VHS,
so--minute-for-minute--it is indeed worth the price!
Interestingly, Heather informed me that--although her
own personal sexual experience with men is legendary, her
experience doing girl-girl has been rather limited and very
selective. As such, the "newness" of these two girls getting
together really does come across fresh and new! Way to go,
Heather and friend!
HEATHER O'CONNELL. The June 1988 Genesis Magazine girl.
Go for it!
She is PICTURE PERFECT 124H Blossom Hill Road Suite
324 San Jose, Ca. 95123. The video is OH! WHAT A NIGHT!
The time to order is NOW! 'Nuff Said!
THE CONTINENTAL SPECTATOR, now in its 24th year, is an
adult photo/classified magazine devoted to people who don't
mind placing their (usually naked and sometimes in action)
photo along with information as to what "service" they offer
(photos, personal meetings, videos...anything!). You can
find it all offered in these pages!
For their latest issue sent 1st. class, send $10.50 to:
THE CONTINENTAL SPECTATOR 147 W. 42 St. NYC 10036. Ask for
lovely Linda Lee and tell her "Dirty Bob" from Video
XCitement sent you!
SEXTRAVERTS strikes again with ORAL EXPERTS and
I usually like to view a flick a few times and then
write my own description of the action. After viewing these
2 fine videos, I am going to simply repeat their own
descriptions on the full-color boxes because they, for once,
tell it very well and I, for once, agree with what they say!
ORAL EXPERTS: Veronica is seduced by John, her best
friend's kinky father. Twice her serior, John anoints this
auburn-haired beauty with cool rivers of wine, and then
unleashes his skilled tongue on her shaved, sensitive mound.
Twisting and turning, her unrestrained ecstatic screams
provide a rhythm for her acrobotic contortions. Don't miss
ROXXXANNE: Hot-to-trot- Roxanne knows how to get her
"rocks off" by diving into her toy box and pulling out a
"melting pot" of devices: a shiny black dildo, a pink french
tickler, and a white dildo that needs a drink from her glass
of water now and then. After getting hungry for the real
thing, she recruits her boyfriend, pulling him at-and-at 'em
like a jack-in-the-box. This amateur video is REAL LIFE ON
Phew! That sounds like a veritable compendium of
Machiavellian callidity as a bi-product of human nature. In
other words, the person who described these 2 videos was
leaving nothing to chance!
I think the descriptions are appropriate, so order them
today, you perverts out there!
$39.95 each or SPECIAL VIDEO XCITEMENT PRICE: BOTH for
$69.95! Please add $4 postage.
SEXTRAVERTS. Box 3588 Cleveland, Ohio 44103.
WILD WEST VIDEO, where Velvet hangs her spurs, now has
their THIRD amateur video available--and I have good news and
First the bad news. Velvet fans...sorry, but Velvet
isn't in this video!
The good news: Velvet is still around! Don't worry!
Her own video company--WILD WEST VIDEO--is just selling
another amateur video that another sexy couple made
This new 1 hour video stars Darla and Ray. Darla is an
exciting young girl who just can't keep away from Ray's rod!
She spends quite a bit of time showing just how deep it will
go in her loving mouth (deep!) among other openings. Ray has
is easy...he just lays back and enjoys!
This is a true amateur production and was apparently
filmed by themselves with no one else present.
As though Ray wasn't enough, she also fiddles around
very seriously with some artificial male appendages (heh
To put it mildly, this girl is horny as hell and can't
get enough! Maybe we should all chip in and send her to my
publisher! Gary, do you think you could handle her (and vice
HOME MOVIES #3. VHS. $39.00 each. Available only
through Velvet at WILD WEST VIDEO 8690 Aero Drive Suite
303DB San Diego, Ca. 92123.
A note from Velvet: "...be patient, fans...our new
catalog will be ready soon, and it lists many more videos!
It is $5 (refundable with any order) and I promise to
personally rub my naked tits over each and every catalog
before it is shipped!"
Ahhhh, Velvet. So young. So sexy. So soft. And so
damn far away! Maybe I should have her do a custom for me
A brief reminder that it is very close to the deadline
for submissions for the 1989 GREAT AMERICAN AMATEUR ADULT
VIDEO FEMALE STAR SEARCH!
Last year's winner was Lindsey Holden, who has (sob!)
since retired. She will be missed! Adios, Miss Holden!
bring home the video camera tonight!
I HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY COLUMN FROM THE LATEST 2 ISSUES.
IF YOU LIKE ADULT VIDEOS, I STRONGLY RECOMMEND THAT YOU
SEND FOR A COPY OF THE MAGAZINE. IN IT YOU WILL FIND MANY
ADS FROM PEOPLE WHO HAVE THEIR OWN VIDEOS FOR SALE AS WELL
AS SOME GREAT INFO AND ARTICLES ABOUT REGULAR ADULT VIDEOS.
TAKE CARE. . .
Kettering, Ohio's own "Dirty Bob"