UFONY #2 - Christine Brinkley Issue
UFONY February 1991 Volume 1, Number 2
The Magazine of the Electronic Underground
Against Nonsense and in Support of Reason
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? ? ? ? ? Christine Brinkley Issue ?
The encounter with visitors from the Great Beyond, endured by the Selwyn
family and narrated so rivetingly by the mother of the household, did not end
immediately after the family's sighting and apparent near collision with the
saucer. Indeed, subsequent events were even more shattering, and it is the
impact of those sequelae that carries a vital message for all of us.
We have already alluded to Hannah Selwyn's hypnotic time regression, but
we need to keep the record unblemished and unmistakable in its import by
covering the hypnotic time regression (HTR) that preceeded Mrs. Selwyn's--
which is to say, the HTR of her mortally wounded husband Carl!
BUFOON [Bureau of Unidentified Flying Objects Omni (K)Nowledge] is lucky
indeed to enjoy the services of Christine Brinkley, MD, who is unquestionably
the foremost expert in the fields of hypnotherapy and hypnoinvestigation, and
in particular HTR, in America today. (Dr. Brinkley, incidentally, is not
related to Frau Joel.) Dr. Brinkley has published numerous studies of
fundamental importance in Fate magazine and other journals, and in addition
has a thriving medical practice in weight control, tension therapy,
acupressure, and prostate massage revitalization. Since earning her medical
degree at the Oriental University of Colonic and Herbal Therapy in Paraguay in
1988, she has achieved world renown in her areas of interest, despite the
baseless campaign of harassment launched against her by Customs upon her
return to our shores after her overseas studies. Summarizing, here is a
brilliant young woman who has credentials coming out of her blowhole, so to
speak, which is why BUFOON invited her to join the team.
Carl Selwyn's HTR took place in his hospital room in Goleta, California.
All those in attendance were deeply moved by the sight of Mr. Selwyn's frail
form swallowed up by an iron lung that enshrouded him up to the chin and that
seemed, almost, to be more alive than he was. Unintimidated by the jungle of
tubes and sundry medical devices, Hannah Selwyn stepped right up and tapped
her husband gently on the forehead. "Wake up, Carl. You got visitors."
Carl demonstrated marked instability. His mental capacities were clearly
in decline. His face turned an alarming red, and he hissed up at his wife.
"Get this crazy woman out of here!" he said, trying to scream, but what little
vitality he retained wasn't enough to give his voice any strength.
"He ain't himself," Hannah said.
"She's done killed me. She's killed me," Carl hissed, and started to
cry. "Get her out of here."
Dr. Brinkley stepped up, gently edging Mrs. Selwyn aside. "Carl, I am
here to give you peace. I am here to make you happy. I want you to listen to
my voice." Dr. Brinkley began stroking Carl's forehead. "I want you to
listen to me ... only me ... only my voice ... and to close your eyes ..."
Half a minute later Dr. Brinkley inquired, "Are you under?"
"Under what?" came the scarcely audible reply.
"Can you quack like a duck?"
"Can you ... like a bunny?" Carl's question was partially drowned out by
the flushing sound of the compressor.
Alas, nothing came of Carl's HTR. As soon as Dr. Brinkley took him back
to the night of the visitation, Carl began shaking violently in his iron lung
and his color grew even redder. He flailed his head mindlessly about,
spraying spittle in every direction, and the efforts of all present to calm
the poor man were unavailing. By the time the duty nurse showed up to clear
the room of Carl's visitors, Carl lay silent in his monstrous metal shroud.
Fortunately Hannah's session some weeks later was more rewarding.
We will provide you with the details of Hanah Selwyn's HTR session by and
by. Meanwhile, the Standing Committee of BUFOON [Bureau of Unidentified
Flying Objects Omni (K)Nowledge] feels compelled to reveal publicly that our
own Christine Brinkley, MD, has discovered an ethnic Hawaiian youth who is the
only channeler of Jesus Christ. BUFOON's explorations of this young find,
who goes by the single name Tyroo, have scarcely begun. We would be remiss,
however, if we didn't provide you with a teaser, taken straight from the tape
of one of Dr. Brinkley's sessions with Tyroo:
DR. BRINKLEY: Why did you pick Tyroo?
JESUS CHRIST: I called to him and he answered me. What measure of him am I
in want of? I tell you that Tyroo is as surely king as any man who has ever
worn fine robes. Is not the world throne enough for those who have eyes?
Why did I make the mountains high? Why did I make the lakes to offer up the
sweet waters? The court is not summoned to pass judgment upon Tyroo but upon
DR. BRINKLEY: Some of us wish to know if the earth is hollow and if the
flying saucers so many have seen come from inside the earth.
JESUS CHRIST: It is not my world that is hollow, but my children who are
hollow. What is seen will be known. My children, my children, cast out what
troubles you and look to the fountain of peace. Do not fear the winged ones
of the air. These too are of the fold.
DR. BRINKLEY: But if they're not from inside the earth, can you tell us
where they're from?
JESUS CHRIST: They are not from, but of. There is unity in every corner of
the universe, clear to all who will keep their eyes open. I use all these
little atoms of unity because I am their author and because I love them. It
is only in obedience to my command that one and one make two. I did not
create only the cast and color but even the fabric of the universe.
DR. BRINKLEY: Are they from space? Are they from another world? Are they
superior to us by nature? Are they ... angels?
JESUS CHRIST: Nothing is by nature. All that you will ever see or hear or
sense in any fashion was fashioned by these hands. Only the one who made you
is superior to you. And if they be angels, then are you not also angels? I
tell you that my friends are legion, and my enemies are cold.
DR. BRINKLEY: We have a little trouble understanding.
JESUS CHRIST: A little yes, and a little more, and much more still. The wise
man goes indoors when the wind lays waste to the world. You must learn to
listen with as much hunger as you speak. There is help in the numbers I have
given to you. Good and evil, then evil and good; then evil and good, then
good and evil; and then evil, and on and on, all striving for balance, all
striving for perfection: 10010110011010010, and on and on. The series seeks
balance and always achieves greater peace. It is the large portion of unity,
and the lesser portion is: 01101001100101101, and on and on. All numbers have
reverence. All numbers share their wisdom.
DR. BRINKLEY: You're saying, then, that we don't need to be concerned about
the flying saucers?
JESUS CHRIST: Pink night scatters horses in the world, my children. What can
matter more than that? All along the Great Divide, where the wind is wild and
freedom is a song of memories, of mysteries, of longings, and of becoming;
where the stars leap up and heal our wounds with such sweep and such sweetness
that our smiles become songs in the silence; we hear the slow deep ringing
footsteps of the land. We hear the soft triumphant gasps of those nearby, all
unafraid, all knowing. And how our hands go out! Will none cry when the last
cheetah is gone? When the last stag sees only a wall across an empty room,
will none cry? What can matter more than what was in the beginning and shall
be until the last nasturtium and the last tamarind and the last dream add
their ashes and their atoms to the universal stillness of what was and is no
longer? I bless you, my children, with this one truth, which is all-
encompassing: pink night scatters horses in the world.
We will wind up this issue by addressing the matter of a baseless rumor
that a few of you may have heard, to the effect that Tyroo is not Hawaiian at
all but Samoan or possibly even Mexican. Dr. Brinkley and a team of crack
investigators have looked into this whispered charge and established that it
is utterly without foundation. Tyroo is a man of honor, and he shines a light
for all of us who care to see. Nor need there be any concerns over the
substantial fees Tyroo needs to charge for private sessions, as all monies
thereby generated go into a nonprofit fund to establish Tyroo's New Light
Foundation. (Inquiries about private sessions with Tyroo may be directed to
Christine Brinkley, MD, or to the New Light Committee of BUFOON [Bureau of
Unidentified Flying Objects Omni (K)Nowledge].)
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