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Go insane answering these ponderances

from VICIOUS CIRCLES AND INFINITY : An Anthology of Paradoxes

There are no errors in this book, except this one.

Although our information is incorrect, we do not vouch for it: Satie

An advertisement offers to make your fortune, instructions sent on receipt
of $1. The reply is -- "Do as we do."

Describe a circle, stroke its back and it turns vicious: Ionesco

In principle I am against principles: Tristan Tzara

All generalizations are dangerous, even this one: Dumas fils

The golden rule is that there are no golden rules: G. B. Shaw

Every exit is an entry somewhere else: Tom Stoppard

Reason has always existed, but not always in a reasonable form: Karl Marx

The foot feels the foot when it feels the ground: Buddha

The fly that doesn't want to be swatted is most secure when it lights on
the flyswatter: Lichtenberg

At the moment of meeting, the parting begins.

God loves everyone in the world who doesn't love himself. Does God love
God?: Teilhard de Chardin

I'm still an atheist, thank God: Luis Bunuel

Substance is one of the greatest of our illusions: Eddington

No light, but rather darkness visible: Milton

What is the sound of one hand clapping?: Zen Buddhism

The handleless axe without a blade: Lichtenberg

What happens to your fist when you open your hand?: Zen Buddhism

What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?: Bertolt Brecht

My reputation grows with every failure: Shaw

The exception proves the rule.

Shop sign: We buy anything saleable.

A sadist is a person who is kind to a masochist.

If you work on your mind with your mind, how can you avoid an immense
confusion?: Seng-Ts'an

The more you know, the less you think you know.

Mr. X was disappointed to find no suggestion box in the clubhouse because
he would like to put a suggestion in it about having one.

That mythical island, whose inhabitants earned a precarious living by
taking in each other's washing: Lewis Carroll

"The candidate had allowed television cameras into his hotel suite to
watch him watch television."

Where everyone wants to come as early as possible, then necessarily by far
the larger part must come too late: Lichtenberg

Great fleas have little fleas upon their backs to bite 'em and little
fleas have lesser fleas and so ad infinitum: Augustus de Morgan

The hour which gives us life begins to take it away: Seneca

Who shall stand guard to the guards themselves?: Juvenal

Living means dying: Engels

What happens when an irresistible force meets an immovable object? An
inconceivable disturbance.

All modern thought is permeated by the idea of thinking the unthinkable:
Michel Foucault

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms: George Wald

The chicken was the egg's idea of getting more eggs: Samuel Butler

The day is the same length as anything that is the same length as it:
Lewis Carroll

Hasten slowly: Suetonius

Achilles cannot defeat the tortoise if he thinks of space and time: Paul
Valery

To endure what is unendurable is true endurance: Japanese proverb

It is in changing that things find repose: Heraclitus

Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose: Alphonse Karr

There is nothing in this world constant but inconstancy: Swift

We can't leave the haphazard to chance: N.F. Simpson

When Po-chang was asked about seeking for the Buddha nature: "It's much
like riding an ox in search of the ox"

He spent his last shilling on a purse.

I have always taken the tips of my fingers for the beginning of her hair:
Edmond Jabes

He lifted himself up by his own bootstraps.

The book above all others in the world which should be forbidden is a
catalogue of forbidden books: Lichtenberg

It is no good trying to teach people who need to be taught: Aleister
Crowley

A solipsist is like the man who gave up turning round because whatever he
saw was always in front of him: Ernst Mach

A banker will lend you money only if you can prove you don't need it.

What are husbands for, but to keep our mistresses?: George Moore

Extremes meet: Louis-Sebastien Mercier

A child, when it begins to speak, learns what it is that it knows: John
Hall Wheelock

"Extremes meet," as the whiting said with its tail in its mouth: Thomas
Hood

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need money
the most, are the very ones that never have it: Finley Peter Dunne

A poor man sells his saucepan to buy something to put in it.

If the rich could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a
wonderful living: Yiddish proverb

The rich would have to eat money, but luckily the poor provide food:
Russian proverb

The dearer a thing is, the cheaper as a general rule we sell it: Samuel
Butler

Money costs too much: Lew Archer

The average man is rich enough when he has a little more than he has got,
and not till then: William Ralph Inge

Your imagination, my dear fellow, is worth more than you imagine: Louis
Aragon

You get the best view of Paris from the Eiffel Tower, because you can't
see the Eiffel Tower from there.

No man who needs a monument ever ought to have one: Nathaniel Hawthorne

Chuang Tzu dreamt he was a butterfly and did not know, when he awoke, if
he was a man who had dreamt he was a butterfly or a butterfly who now
dreamt he was a man.

Coming events cast their shadows before.

You cannot step twice into the same river, for other waters are
continually flowing on: Heraclitus

Tomorrow never comes.

You cannot step into the same river once: Cratylus

The supreme triumph of reason is to cast doubt upon its own validity:
Miguel de Unamuno

The superfluous, a very necessary thing: Voltaire

Only the ephemeral is of lasting value: Ionesco

Prophecy is many times the principal cause of the events foretold: Thomas
Hobbes

The thing that astonished him was that cats should have two holes cut in
their coat exactly at the place where their eyes are: Lichtenberg

We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it: Dwight D.
Eisenhower

Isn't the best defence always a good attack?: Ovid

Another victory like that and we are done for: Pyrrhus

Remember, to them it is us who are the enemy: N.F.Simpson

He who despises himself nevertheless esteems himself as a self- despiser:
Nietzsche

The child is father of the man: Wordsworth

The clan of those without a clan: Robert Lebel

Youth is wasted on the young: G.B. Shaw

"My friend Jones will vouch for me." "How do we know that he can be
trusted?" "Oh, I assure you he can."

Can't see the wood for the trees.

P.S. If you don't receive this letter, it must have miscarried: therefore
I beg you to write and let me know.

Can't see for looking.

Trying to define humour is one of the definitions of humour: Saul Steinberg

The biter bit.

When independence of principle consists in having no principle on which to
depend: C.C. Colton

They must have the defects of their qualities: Balzac

"Be spontaneous!"

Who is worse shod than the shoemaker's wife?

In a philosophical dispute, he gains most who is defeated, since he learns
most: Epicurus

Boredom -- the desire for desires: Leo Tolstoy

A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears:
Montaigne

Many would be cowards if they had courage enough: Thomas Fuller

The celebrity is a person who is known for his well-knownness: Daniel
Boorstin

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it: Wilde

Work expands to fill the time available for its completion: Parkinson's Law

Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so: J.S. Mill

The medium is the message: Marshall McLuhan

Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow: Wilde

I'm saying nothing and I'm saying it: John Cage

Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little: Epicurus

He who thinks he is raising a mound may only in reality be digging a pit:
Ernest Bramah

A ring is a hole with a rim round it.

The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between
the notes -- ah, that is where the art resides: Schnabel

You were conspicuous by your absence: Lord John Russell

There is nothing like worrying about the bowels opening to stop them
opening: Dr. Clark Kennedy

Bad is never good until worse happens: Danish proverb

Life imitates art far more than art imitates life: Wilde

Art lies in concealing art.

How to paint a perfect painting -- make yourself perfect and then just
paint naturally: Robert M. Pirsig

Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth: Picasso

An artist who is self-taught is taught by a very ignorant person indeed:
Constable

In painting you must give the idea of the true by means of the false: Degas

"When you say `hill'," the Queen interrupted, "I could show you hills, in
comparison, with which you'd call that a valley": Carroll

Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth: Alan Watts

It's the last straw that breaks the camel's back.

To Wilde, a book on Italian literature showed a "want of knowledge that
must be the result of years of study."

If you turn on the light quickly enough you can see what the dark looks
like.

There is nothing so unthinkable as thought, unless it be the entire
absence of thought: Samuel Butler

The field cannot well be seen from within the field: Emerson

No region can include itself as well: Whitehead

Just because everything is different doesn't mean anything has changed:
Southern Californian Oracle

How can you tell the dance from the dancer?

Unless you expect the unexpected you will never find truth, for it is hard
to discover and hard to attain: Heraclitus

The French for London is Paris: Ionesco

What then in the last resort are the truths of mankind? -- They are the
irrefutable errors of mankind: Nietzsche

God is not all-powerful as he cannot build a wall he cannot jump: Pascal

If I am I because you are you, and if you are you because I am I, then I
am not I, and you are not you: Hassidic rabbi

Consciousness is that which it is not, and is not that which it is: Sartre

If I don't know I don't know, I think I know. If I don't know I know, I
think I don't know: R.D. Laing

If you think you're free, there's no escape possible: Baba Ram Dass

The author of the Iliad is either Homer or, if not Homer, somebody else of
the same name: Aldous Huxley

It was always thus; and even if 'twere not, 'twould inevitably have been
always otherwise: Dean Lattimer

The word "dog" does not bite: William James

Much that is inexpressible would be hardly worth expression, if one could
express it: Lichtenberg

It is as if I were attempting to trace with the point of a pencil the
shadow of the tracing pencil: Nathaniel West

In Leningrad freezing point is called melting point.

Include me out: Sam Goldwyn

This is the beginning of the end: Talleyrand

Abstainer -- a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself
a pleasure: Ambrose Bierce

Less is more: Robert Browning

The little I know, I owe to my ignorance: Sacha Guitry

"I'm so glad I don't like asparagus," said the small girl to a sympathetic
friend. "Because if I did, I should have to eat it -- and I can't bear
it!": Lewis Carroll

 
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