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View Full Version : Losing your virginity to an animal - does it count?


Misfit
2008-11-18, 00:34
18 years old and never had sex! Well, that was up until yesterday. I was at the zoo when I noticed the most attractive looking sea lion I had ever seen. This wasn't just any normal sea lion, this sea lion was oozing of sexuality. I didn't know what to do, I felt like a dog on heat.

It gave me the eye, turned around and went into a nearby cave. This was my chance. I snuck into it's enclosure and followed it into the cave. That's where we proceeded to feel each other up a bit. It's flippers were slapping my man boobs around something chronic, which in turn gave me enormous erect nipples.

I stuck my noob into it's buns and let nature take it's course. It was the most exhilarating experience of my life and I loved every second of it. Now, what I ask you totse is, does having sex with a sea lion actually count?

pyroman5000
2008-11-18, 00:37
If you're not trolling..

Sex with animals counts. This is why people who lost their virginity to animals get teased. It happened, it counts.

I-RapeTards
2008-11-18, 00:45
If you're not trolling..

Seriously, how fucking retarded are you?

Silverfuck
2008-11-18, 00:59
I know guys who've lost their virginity to girls who looked rather like sea lions. For this reason I have concluded that having sex with a sea lion counts.

EL Lee
2008-11-18, 01:02
Hmmmm, having sex with animals or women that look like animals or no sex at all. Choices, choices. Personally, I would pass on sex with animals and ugly bitches.

aliveupguy
2008-11-18, 01:04
Although this is clearly a troll, I will give the question some thought.

I don't really think it counts as losing your virginity. At least not in my opinion. You need to have sex with another human to lose you're virginity. Raping sea animals just makes you fucked in the head, it doesn't mean you aren't a virgin.

Misfit
2008-11-18, 01:04
I don't think it should count, it's petty bullshit. They should be calling you a "fucking moron", not a "fucking acolyte".

Maybe they should be calling you shut up.

Misfit
2008-11-18, 01:05
Although this is clearly a troll, I will give the question some thought.

I don't really think it counts as losing your virginity. At least not in my opinion. You need to have sex with another human to lose you're virginity. Raping sea animals just makes you fucked in the head, it doesn't mean you aren't a virgin.

Hairy muff.

JoePedo
2008-11-18, 01:10
If you're not trolling..

I lol'd.

It's flippers were slapping my man boobs around something chronic, which in turn gave me enormous erect nipples.

I lol'd again...

Anyways... seeing as the character you're roleplaying here obviously has at least some zooerotic tendancies, I'd say it definately counts... I mean, sure... a lot of communities reckon that pressure-based heterosexual experimentation in childhood, or nonvolitional experiences, tend not to be counted as anything... but since it's not like your classmates are standing around telling you they'll kick your ass for being a fag if you don't pretend to like getting with the sea lion, and since the sea lion didn't exactly say "climb in my enclosure or you'll never be able to sit down again"...

...congrats on losing your v-card, beastfucker!! ::hi-fives::

illism
2008-11-18, 01:10
it counts

aliveupguy
2008-11-18, 01:13
If I have sex with a cow does that count too? What about a dead cow? Does it still count? How about steaks, can I fuck some steaks and lose my virginity? What about if I put some lube in the couch cushions then have sex with them? Am I still a virgin?

Seriously this is a slippery slope. IMO you have to sex with your own species to lose your virginity. Fucking sea creatures, bananas, steaks or anything like that doesn't count.

WritingANovel
2008-11-18, 01:25
Seriously this is a slippery slope. IMO you have to sex with your own species to lose your virginity. Fucking sea creatures, bananas, steaks or anything like that doesn't count.

This.

I don't think sex with an animal really counts as sex..

On the other hand, if you fuck a dead member of the opposite sex...does it mean your no longer a virgin?

dawk
2008-11-18, 01:32
did she leave marks

Misfit
2008-11-18, 01:36
If I have sex with a cow does that count too? What about a dead cow? Does it still count? How about steaks, can I fuck some steaks and lose my virginity? What about if I put some lube in the couch cushions then have sex with them? Am I still a virgin?

Seriously this is a slippery slope. IMO you have to sex with your own species to lose your virginity. Fucking sea creatures, bananas, steaks or anything like that doesn't count.

Fucking a living sea lion in the vagina, and fucking an inanimate object such as a couch, are two very, very different things.

aliveupguy
2008-11-18, 01:42
Fucking a living sea lion in the vagina, and fucking an inanimate object such as a couch, are two very, very different things.

What if they made a flesh light that PERFECTLY mimicked the human vagina? Would jerking off into one of those mean you are no longer a virgin because you know what a pussy feels like? No. You need to have sex with another human, not a fucking sea lion.

Misfit
2008-11-18, 01:56
What if they made a flesh light that PERFECTLY mimicked the human vagina? Would jerking off into one of those mean you are no longer a virgin because you know what a pussy feels like? No. You need to have sex with another human, not a fucking sea lion.

The "perfectly mimicked" fleshlight would still be an inanimate object. Whereas the vagina on a sea lion is real. It really is as simple as that.

Johnathon_Doerty
2008-11-18, 02:06
What if the fleshlight is made out of sealion flesh?

EL Lee
2008-11-18, 02:40
Maybe they should be calling you shut up.
Oh man, you sure told me off.

EL Lee
2008-11-18, 02:49
Maybe they should be calling you shut up.

You should note, before you "attempt" to tell me off again, that I edited my post. I was posting on two threads and I mixed them up. I'm Sorry, but I can't help the fact that brandy and vicodin alter my ability to tell two stupid threads apart.

~Asoon~
2008-11-18, 03:15
I think it does count, for the fact that Humans=Mammals, and female animals=Mammals. But fucking an animal condones you as a sick fucking retard, and should be shot.

Hengen
2008-11-18, 03:44
good troll attempt, you should have picked a better animal though.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dugong

more your type

rabbitweed
2008-11-18, 04:35
good troll attempt, you should have picked a better animal though.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dugong

more your type

Dugong would have been overdoing it, sea lion was just right.

And I lol'd heaps. Good work!

Agent 008
2008-11-18, 08:36
Did you wear protection?

Otherwise, someday you make walk into the zoo with your kids, and see a sea-lion that carries an uncanny resemblance to yourself.. try explaining that to your family!

pyroman5000
2008-11-18, 12:25
Seriously, how fucking retarded are you?

Pardon me for helping the whores and losers who might see this thread looking for a real answer.

lostmyface
2008-11-18, 23:05
ITT: epic luls

Death Insurance
2008-11-19, 00:00
http://dialga.blogia.com/upload/20080420124833-dugtrio.gif

Can't you just imagine the massive cock(s) those things have?